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Oh Dear!

Posted by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 4:40 AM
  • 18 Replies

My friend, Margo, will be 88 in August. 

she sent me the following email last night:

Hi!
 
I have had my computer worked on and they lost my e-mail address.  They didn't do a very
good job.  I spent all week with them trying to get things right. They reset my e-mail I lost my old e-mail address.  I set up a new one but I don't know if is in the system.  Would you e-mail me at my new address and my old address.  That wayI will know which one is working.
 
I have had a terrible week dealing with them and my memory is really leaving me.  I still don't feel good that poison weed really did a big job on me.  The rash has faded but I still have some itching.  I can still see redness  where the rash was. I hope this week will be better.
 
my old e-mail is mar***@aol.com
my new e-mail is mar***23@aol.com 
 
I had a very bad week and I felt like I really had lost my mind. 
 
Hope you are doing well.
 
Thank you,
 
Margo

Poor Margo!  She actually emailed me from her correct old email address.  what she listed in the body of her email as her "old" email address was NOT her old email address!  And, on top of that, unless you actually go through the motions of deleting your email account, you don't "lose" your email address.  Oh dear.  

Do you think I would be "out of line" if I contacted her grown-ass kids and mention her troubles?  I love the lady dearly but have enough on my plate right now and I feel horrible that I can't pay more attention to her.  Her son is 66, is single and lives in Boston.  Her daughter is in her early 60s, single, and lives in Ohio. (Margo refinanced her own home here in KC to buy her daughter a condo - and daughter has never made a payment.  I know that was Margo's choice but still - wtf is wrong with the daughter, not even trying to help her mom??) both of them call her once a week but she has confided in me that she doesn't tell them of her problems. 
by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 4:40 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Cindy18
by Platinum Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 5:04 AM

I don't think confusion over an email account at her age is all that usual. I would just email her back on the email that works and leave it be. 

suzeebloch
by Ronna on Jul. 9, 2014 at 5:09 AM


Quoting Cindy18:

I don't think confusion over an email account at her age is all that usual. I would just email her back on the email that works and leave it be. 

You are up late/early! 

I am concerned how much $$ she is spending to "fix" her computer among other things.  Her memory is really starting to go downhill, in my opinion.  She knows I would be there in a heartbeat to help her out but she doesn't want to 'bother' me, which I understand and respect.   I guess my bigger issue is that her kids should be stepping up to the plate here.  I don't think they know how she is doing since they only call once a week and wonder if I should say something.

Cindy18
by Platinum Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 5:13 AM

I have been up all night. I got stuck working a midnight shift. 

I get what you are saying about the money to "fix" the computer. But you can't make her kids care. 

Quoting suzeebloch:

Quoting Cindy18:

I don't think confusion over an email account at her age is all that usual. I would just email her back on the email that works and leave it be. 

You are up late/early! 

I am concerned how much $$ she is spending to "fix" her computer among other things.  Her memory is really starting to go downhill, in my opinion.  She knows I would be there in a heartbeat to help her out but she doesn't want to 'bother' me, which I understand and respect.   I guess my bigger issue is that her kids should be stepping up to the plate here.  I don't think they know how she is doing since they only call once a week and wonder if I should say something.


suzeebloch
by Ronna on Jul. 9, 2014 at 5:15 AM

I know can't make her kids care - because I personally don't think they do.  But I could make them aware ...

Quoting Cindy18:

I have been up all night. I got stuck working a midnight shift. 

I get what you are saying about the money to "fix" the computer. But you can't make her kids care. 

Quoting suzeebloch:

Quoting Cindy18:

I don't think confusion over an email account at her age is all that usual. I would just email her back on the email that works and leave it be. 

You are up late/early! 

I am concerned how much $$ she is spending to "fix" her computer among other things.  Her memory is really starting to go downhill, in my opinion.  She knows I would be there in a heartbeat to help her out but she doesn't want to 'bother' me, which I understand and respect.   I guess my bigger issue is that her kids should be stepping up to the plate here.  I don't think they know how she is doing since they only call once a week and wonder if I should say something.


Cindy18
by Platinum Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 5:25 AM

That's true. Do you have their phone numbers?

Quoting suzeebloch:

I know can't make her kids care - because I personally don't think they do.  But I could make them aware ...

Quoting Cindy18:

I have been up all night. I got stuck working a midnight shift. 

I get what you are saying about the money to "fix" the computer. But you can't make her kids care. 

Quoting suzeebloch:

Quoting Cindy18:

I don't think confusion over an email account at her age is all that usual. I would just email her back on the email that works and leave it be. 

You are up late/early! 

I am concerned how much $$ she is spending to "fix" her computer among other things.  Her memory is really starting to go downhill, in my opinion.  She knows I would be there in a heartbeat to help her out but she doesn't want to 'bother' me, which I understand and respect.   I guess my bigger issue is that her kids should be stepping up to the plate here.  I don't think they know how she is doing since they only call once a week and wonder if I should say something.


suzeebloch
by Ronna on Jul. 9, 2014 at 5:29 AM

No, I don't have their phone numbers, but I could send them both a PM through Facebook and give them my number and ask them to call me.  I just feel her kids need to start making plans about what to do with their mother.  She does seem to be getting more easily confused these days and lives alone.

Quoting Cindy18:

That's true. Do you have their phone numbers?

Quoting suzeebloch:

I know can't make her kids care - because I personally don't think they do.  But I could make them aware ...

Quoting Cindy18:

I have been up all night. I got stuck working a midnight shift. 

I get what you are saying about the money to "fix" the computer. But you can't make her kids care. 

Quoting suzeebloch:

Quoting Cindy18:

I don't think confusion over an email account at her age is all that usual. I would just email her back on the email that works and leave it be. 

You are up late/early! 

I am concerned how much $$ she is spending to "fix" her computer among other things.  Her memory is really starting to go downhill, in my opinion.  She knows I would be there in a heartbeat to help her out but she doesn't want to 'bother' me, which I understand and respect.   I guess my bigger issue is that her kids should be stepping up to the plate here.  I don't think they know how she is doing since they only call once a week and wonder if I should say something.


louannwilkins
by Louann on Jul. 9, 2014 at 7:15 AM

I can see where you'd be concerned and you're a good friend.  If I were you I'd probably contact them.  I'd feel it's the right thing to do too.  Let us know how it goes.  I don't get some people.  You know, I know my boys love me and all that but I'll probably be in the same boat as Margo one day.  Ugh....lol

LEK19
by Platinum Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 3:30 PM
1 mom liked this

Before you call them, I would visit and have a chat with her. Watch for more things that are concerning you. Ask her when she talked to them last. Ask her if it is ok for you to call her children and that you are concerned. I think if I were her I would want to be asked. 

If things really scare you then go ahead and call.

Either way, when you talk to them be prepared with enough specific examples of why you are concerned.

Goodness! A good friend and your Mom. Hearts to you.

.Holly.
by Silver Member on Jul. 9, 2014 at 4:09 PM

I agree with this on all accounts. Maybe speak with her first before connecting with them? I'd hate for you to get in the middle of something that may not turn out well if they all haven't talked in a while.

Quoting LEK19:

Before you call them, I would visit and have a chat with her. Watch for more things that are concerning you. Ask her when she talked to them last. Ask her if it is ok for you to call her children and that you are concerned. I think if I were her I would want to be asked. 

If things really scare you then go ahead and call.

Either way, when you talk to them be prepared with enough specific examples of why you are concerned.

Goodness! A good friend and your Mom. Hearts to you.


DixieL
by Dixie on Jul. 9, 2014 at 4:23 PM

Her kids are lucky to still have her, and it's their responsibility to take care of her. I don't think it would be wrong of you. I think if would be the right thing to do. My thoughts are with her.

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