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Drug dealer/ supplier

Posted by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 10:52 PM
  • 12 Replies
How would you feel if your adult DD who is 20 got a new bf & moved in with him a few months later . Then you come to find out that hes a small time dealer. Im guessing thats what he is. He grts it for his friends from some guy then his friends pay him for getting it.. Then your DD tells you she is pregnant to him now.. Your DD goes out and works hard to make ends meet while he sits around playing video games & sells his weed or whatever AND has another child he rarely sees and barely supports! Im heartbroken over this... Any advice? I know theres not much i can do
by on Apr. 5, 2015 at 10:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
atlmom2
by Susie on Apr. 5, 2015 at 11:17 PM

Tell her she is with a loser and it is her life at this point.  You hope she makes the right decisions.  If not, once the baby is born if the baby is in danger call CPS.  She has really screwed up her life and hope she gets her head on straight.  

Kimmybabe
by Silver Member on Apr. 5, 2015 at 11:31 PM
Harsh words, but truthful.

Sadly all that a drug user can do is disappoint you.

There may be a time, hopefully there will be, when your dd sees the light. Then is when you can help her and your grandchild. In the meantime I would stand ready tom help my dd when such would be helpful.

Grand children are wonderful. We have three and hope to have more.

Quoting atlmom2:

Tell her she is with a loser and it is her life at this point.  You hope she makes the right decisions.  If not, once the baby is born if the baby is in danger call CPS.  She has really screwed up her life and hope she gets her head on straight.  

louannwilkins
by Louann on Apr. 6, 2015 at 5:39 AM

I'm sorry that you're going through this.  It's hard being a parent because once they're grown they can and will do whatever they want.  All you can do is try to talk to her.  Pray for her if you believe.  I personally believe prayer can help.  Hugs to you.  I hope things get better

LEK19
by Group Admin on Apr. 6, 2015 at 9:01 AM

My heart goes out to you. Yes, it is hard to watch our children make life choices that are hard to accept. And there isn't much you can do other than be honest with her about your feelings and thoughts. 

LadySaphira
by Lisa on Apr. 6, 2015 at 12:21 PM

I would be very upset and disapointed if that happened to one of  my girls. I would tell her that you love her and have some concerns but it you know that it is ultimatley her chopice about sho she is with and what she does with/for him.

Mariagma3
by Gold Member on Apr. 6, 2015 at 12:42 PM

 OMG, I have so much advice, but none really useful. One thing you can do is tell your daughter that her bf could EASILY be headed to jail/prison. So could she, but she'll not believe you. Anything you tell her, she won't believe. In a way, it's too bad you couldn't take her to a criminal courts building, let her go in, and listen to alot of girls/women, their stories of being pregnant, left & dumped by a good for nothing druggie. I am so sorry! Praying for you!

I wanted to add some things: If your daughter is working, whether or not she has insurance, he could really mess things up for her and the baby. If she is on Medicaid, it's worse. Reason being, if she gets food stamps, assistance, she is already IN the state's system. So, if any problems ever came up, it is very easy for case workers to have access to her & the baby. If there's drugs in a home where a newborn will be living, is NOT good. Just explain to her how much danger she is putting both of them in. HUGS!

peaceflower04
by Member on Apr. 6, 2015 at 12:59 PM

((((HUGS)))) Mama.

Well, I am sorry you are going through this. Has your daughter done drugs in the past? If she has a drug dealer for a bf she is probably using.

He will more than likely get caught and end up in jail and your DD will end up supporting a baby on her own. 

I would really try to sit your dd down and give her a reality check. She is young, and love is very blind. Good luck.

kuntrylady56
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2015 at 1:42 PM

Your daughter needs a reality check on what she needs to expect when that baby is born. Take her on pretend shopping trip for everything she will need for a newborn to come home to, including clothes,formula,diapers,bassinet/crib ect.   And I'm sure if the so called boyfriend is dealing your daughter has good chance of being a user also.   If anything shows up in her system during her pregnancy checkups(even marijuana) by law in some states her OB has to notify DFS.   And the baby can be taken form her at birth if its anything stronger and can cause damage to the baby.  My daughter had some sort of unprescribed subastance in her system and it also showed in the babies when he was born.  Luckily he was not taken but DFS opened a case so they both could be monitored.   It was a some pills a so called friend had gave during her pregnancy for anxiety.  And because it was unprescribed and a narcotic it was considered an illegal substance.

So hopefully your daughter will use some common sense (mine did not) and stay away from drugs during her pregancy.  Hopefully this guy is only dealing in marijuana and not meth, if this is being made or smoked in the household(even if you daughter is not using)can show traces in her system.  And it stays in the home so..she would be bringing a baby into that mess.

I know I don't know your daughter situation but just some things to maybe speak to her about and make her aware of. I have worked in childcare and am not back in college studying alot of this and we need to know the laws excetera and how drugs effect babies invitro and when newborn so I know of what I speak. Also from personal experience with my own daughter.  

But as the other ladies have said , mainly all you can do is be there for her,because at that age they normally won't listen to us anyhow.  But maybe you'll be the lucky one that has a child that will.

Will keep you,your daughter and sooon to be grandchild in my prayers.

EireLass
by Platinum Member on Apr. 6, 2015 at 2:52 PM

This sounds like my step-daughter...although she is now 27. She is a drug addict. She lives with a felon/addict/dealer. They have a child, 4. She lives in Florida, and used all during her pregnancy, baby came 6 wks early. I'm assuming drug testing during pregnancy and of a baby isn't routine. 1.5 years ago she and baby came here to live and straighten out her life. Uh-huh. That only lasted 6 months, and she was headed right back to that crowd. Amazingly the child is so healthy, very bright, etc. An addict is an addict is an addict....... 

Momof3girls478
by Member on Apr. 6, 2015 at 2:52 PM
Thank you. And no she hasnt. Her last 2 jobs had mandatory drug testing.. She has never been into drugs of any kind. I think her way of thinking is that its only weed hes doing and selling so its not that big a deal.. I do know she doesnt like it but says she loves him.. In our town we have a 3 strikes policy meaning if the police ate called to your place 3 times your evicted.. 1 WEEK after moving in together she got her 1st strike!' The police went to her neighbors to arrest the neighbor but heard her bfs loud music n also came to her apt.. Smelled weed on her bf and he admitted to smoking it a lil while earlier so they searched her apt.. She SAYS he doesnt smoke it in her apt but i dont believe her :(

Quoting peaceflower04:

((((HUGS)))) Mama.

Well, I am sorry you are going through this. Has your daughter done drugs in the past? If she has a drug dealer for a bf she is probably using.

He will more than likely get caught and end up in jail and your DD will end up supporting a baby on her own. 

I would really try to sit your dd down and give her a reality check. She is young, and love is very blind. Good luck.

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