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My brother does it so I can too

Posted by on Aug. 4, 2017 at 11:47 AM
  • 14 Replies

My youngest son has started dipping because his oldest brother does it. I admit my oldest son started doing this stuff as a teenager as well and still does it. My oldest is 29 and my youngest is 16 with three other's in the middle. These are my only two boys to dip. They smoke cigarettes too something I do as well so I never could figure out how to tell them they shouldn't be smoking when I was doing it myself. My son's are 29, 23, 22, 20 and 16. I don't know how to tell him it's not good to be dipping, his brother's buy him his dip and cigarettes.

by on Aug. 4, 2017 at 11:47 AM
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annie-durham
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2017 at 12:54 PM
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I have no idea what dipping is.  The only dipping I do is into a bowl of quacomole with my chips.

I don't understand people who say "well I smoked so can't very well tell my kids not to".........................um yes you can. 

I drink alcohol and my teens saw me do it but I never told them it was ok for them to do it.  never allowed it in my house until they were old enough.  Its the same as a 2 year old watching you drink a coke and wanted it, but you give them milk.  You basically say when you are grown up like me you can drink coke too, for now you need milk to help you grow.  Same goes for the alcohol and the cigarettes.  When they are old enough they can make up their own minds but I'm not letting them do it as teens just because I'm doing it.  I've never smoked so that was never an issue her.

Kimmybabe
by Silver Member on Aug. 4, 2017 at 3:33 PM
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Much like Annie said above.

Plus I would explain that you don't have to be stupid like me and get hooked.  (I don't mean that in a mean way as I really think it is easy to get hooked.  I was hooked on screwdrivers for several years in late teens and college. So put me on the stupid list.) 

Just because your brother and I are doing stupid things that is no reason for you to also. 

Another thing, explain the health hazards, including early death, a painful death, bad teeth, etcetera.  Recently, several baseball players have died from throat cancer linked to tobacco products that they started using as teens because it was considered cool. You only get two sets of teeth and you're already on your second set son, which you hope will last until you pass at 95 or 101.  Dipping and such, shortens the duration of those teeth.

I never smoked because I knew I could easily get hooked. I never smoked pot because I figured I would end up as a crack whore because I am easily addicted.  Etcetera!!

annie-durham
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2017 at 4:41 PM

I remember when my youngest son was 2 and we had just moved into this house.  There were no fences up yet and the people behind us had a little boy around the same age.  At first I thought he was a year older because he was tall and very chubby for his age.  Over the course of a few weeks the mom and I became friendly hanging out the back while th boys played on our swing set.  She told me her son weighed 56lb which for a two year old is HUGE.  One day she invited my son over for lunch she was throwing some hot dogs on the grill.  I went back over to get him after lunch and when we got home he told me he had POP.  He said Chris asked his mom for a can of pop and she gave each of them one.  Over the course of that summer the boys hung out a lot and so did the mom's if she invited Matthew for lunch I'd always send him with a juice box and say he didn't like pop.  One day sitting out side she told me her son has 3 or 4 cans of pop a day and when I asked why she said "well his dad and I drink pop all day so how can I really tell him he can't have any".   She had the same reasoning you did.  I said "tell him this is something grown ups drink and not little boys and when you are a grown up you can have it too" then I asked her if they gave him Beer because I'd seem them sitting on their deck drinking beer and she said "No of course not" and I said well its the same argument really.  Simply say its something for grown ups and not kids sorry your time will come.  

kuntrylady56
by Gold Member on Aug. 4, 2017 at 8:03 PM
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Your son is only 16 and if his older brother is buying him chewing tobacco and ciggarettes he needs his ass kicked! Its illegal for one thing for an adult to buy tobacco products for a minor.  And like Kimmybabe said, there are the health risks from both.  And you as the mom need to et you older son know you do not appreciate him buying the stuff for his younger brother and to STOP!!! 

As my parents used to tell us when we were children, you do as I SAY not nescessarily as I do. Both my parents smoked and my mom was an alchoholic(she drank beer from the time she got up till she wnt to bed)practically!  But just because they did it did not make me think it was okay for me to do it.

If you're truly worried about you son I would talk to him first and let him know how you feel. And I woud also let him know your older son is not going to be supplying him with chew or ciggarettes.  If he chooses to do it when he becomes an adult then that his decision to make. But he is living in you home and is still a minor he follows your rules! 

LEt him look at some of the pictures/videos of people who have destroyed their health from chewing tobacco. And he and his brother both probablly think it will enver happen to them, welllll all those others did too.

And if I am sounding harsh is because I mean too, I've lost my dad from lung cancer and an ex-cousin in law from mouth cancer from dipping. Sooo please, get serious with your son.

EireLass
by Platinum Member on Aug. 4, 2017 at 10:05 PM
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If you are friends or acquantances with any police officers, you could ask them to talk to the older son to put the fear in him.

suzeebloch
by Ronna on Aug. 5, 2017 at 10:21 AM

When my daughter was a teen, she started smoking cigarettes.  I smoked too back then.  I truly didn't want her to get hooked so I started "grounding" her when I found cigarette butts in her room - and eventually had to stop doing and give up since was grounded until she was like 45 years old.  Unfortunately, she still smokes.  Peer pressure has a lot to do with this and I don't know what the solution is.  It is illegal to purchase tobacco products for minors, however, so that might be one way to handle the issue.

EireLass
by Platinum Member on Aug. 5, 2017 at 9:52 PM

On February 5, 2014, Schilling revealed that he had been diagnosed with and was being treated for throat cancer. His statement: "I've always believed life is about embracing the gifts and rising up to meet the challenges. We've been presented with another challenge, as I've recently been diagnosed with cancer." On June 25 of that year, Schilling announced via Twitter that the cancer was in remission. On August 20, 2014 Schilling announced he was in remission from his battle with oral cancer. That same day, he mentioned his cancer was as a result of using smokeless tobacco for 30 years. He also used his experiences to warn Madison Bumgarner, who is also a long-time smokeless tobacco user (a 'dipper').

drfink
by Member on Aug. 6, 2017 at 7:29 PM
My sister's very sweet MIL had tounge cancer . She never smoked or dipped a day in her life but is the number 1 cause .
She is fortunately still with us was going strong . She is in her mid 80's and recently Dx with Alzheimer's.
So maybe show your son what it looks like to have part of a tounge cut off . The scars that are on the outside of the neck plus all the time learning to speak again . Not to mention the "fun" effects of radiation.
Her docs told us so many horror stories of young men getting cancer from dipping that my oldest quit . He was in college, had been dipping a few months when he saw what his cousins grandmother looked like at the time and went through. He stopped .
Mariagma3
by Silver Member on Aug. 6, 2017 at 9:10 PM

Well, you can send him videshruggingo clips of what mouth & lip cancer can do. IDK, sorry, I'm probably not much help. Hard topic for sure. 

atlmom2
by Susie on Aug. 6, 2017 at 9:18 PM

I saw way too many young people with terrible head and neck cancer, a very fierce and fast moving cancer.  I would be concerned if it were my kids.  I know it is hard to tell 20 somethings anything but it would frighten me.  Your 16 yo would be illegal also.  

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