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What are you doing today....Wednesday?

Posted by on Dec. 5, 2017 at 8:59 PM
  • 19 Replies

come tell us....

by on Dec. 5, 2017 at 8:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
louannwilkins
by Louann on Dec. 5, 2017 at 9:00 PM

post is ready for tomorrow morning

Marinefranksmom
by Gold Member on Dec. 5, 2017 at 10:27 PM
2 moms liked this

In the AM, a mani pedi, then dollar store for bows and decorations for our fresh wreath on the front door, then chorus rehearsal in the PM - we are practicing for our Christmas performances - one of which will be caroling at a hotel in Manhattan.

suzeebloch
by Ronna on Dec. 6, 2017 at 1:28 AM

well I'm up early - yay me - at 11:45.  Tossing and turning and so I'm up.  Not gonna waste my time trying to get back to sleep now.  Will explain the tossing and turning  ...

Work was pathetic yesterday.  I do need to get an earlier start.  I only earned $28 yesterday.  One of my colleagues from the previous FL group, is quitting effective December 15.  Another already quit.  Both due to the VR issue.  Can't blame them.  I haven't had enough time to come up for air to even think about looking for a different income source.  That's part of the tossing/turning.

Housekeeper, OT and nurse were all at parents yesterday.  Ulcers on mom's bottom are healing nicely but nurse has to take photos to document.  In the photos, they look horrible.  Nurse and OT say their records show no one from home health called to report mom to APS and assume it was the hospital.  They said if they had called APS they would have told us.  Both confirmed this independently (weren't there at the same time).  The APS worker did call me yesterday and she's coming over next Tuesday to talk to me and dad.  This was part of the tossing and turning.

Mom got a $400 check in the mail Monday from her bank.  No memo on the check to indicate what it was from/for.  Dad took it to the bank to deposit it in mom's account yesterday and was told mom needs to sign it.  Well, she can't.  So, I took it with me as the bank is less than a block from my apartment.  I don't know WHO he talked to, or more  importantly HOW he asked, but you don't need a signature on a check to deposit it.   When I had the appointment 2 weeks ago with eldercare lawyer, dad provided me with bank statements - between the two of them there is about $40K in savings/checking accounts.  The teller at the bank confirmed my signature is on mom's accounts - then she offered to print out a summary of the accounts I'm on - turns out mom alone has over $80K in combined checking (2 accounts), savings and money market accounts.  The $400 check was a distribution from IRA but since no one else is on that account, she couldn't tell me that account's balance.  This is a MAJOR deal now since mom and dad combined need to spend down their account balances to no more than $25K before Medicaid covers cost of nursing home.  Meaning all mom's money will be spent first for nursing home before Medicaid will step in to pay.  At $6500 a month, I've calculated mom would be in nursing home at minimum 11 months self-pay.  I called and left a message with elder care lawyer's assistant since I still haven't gotten the paperwork to get financial power of attorney - which I'll need to see what other IRAs she may have out there and their balances.   It is obvious to me Dad has slipped quite a few notches here.  I need to get financial POA for his finances as well.  Dad simply doesn't have a handle on this.  I know he is able to pay his bills and such but he obviously didn't know about these other accounts mom had!  I'm quite certain he wasn't trying to hide this from me.  This was the biggest part of my tossing and turning and why I'm wide awake now instead of sleeping.

I stopped at Great Clips and got my hair cut after that to take my mind off of that whole money issue for a short amount of time, but all those things hit me hard at 11:30 and I can't shut it off.  My heart feels heavy too - it's so sad that mom needs the care and it is so freaking expensive - nothing we can do about it now though.  Hoping the attorney calls me.

ugh ugh ugh.  So, going to do my EMW now then head over to FL group.  Today taking Tom to see his shrink at 11:45 - and then PT is coming over at 1 for mom.  I sure hope I can turn my brain off tonight so I get a good night's sleep.  I did get just under 5 hours sleep though so I guess that's not too bad considering 7 is optimal for me anyway.

ugh.  yay wednesday.

Cindy18
by Platinum Member on Dec. 6, 2017 at 5:53 AM
1 mom liked this
Only Wednesday! This week has been LONG!

Work, Home, Dinner, laundry.
annie-durham
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2017 at 6:11 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh Ronna that all sounds so awful and so stressful.  I would not be sleeping either.  Geez I was awake at 5:30 this morning and couldnt' get back to sleep just thinking about the various xmas gifts I still have to buy.

Is there any way you can transfer some of that money to you or your brother just so it looks like less.  Although that is probably not legal and they would probably know.  

And for the hospital reporting you guys that would majorly stress me out like you I'd be imagining them carting me off to prison.  

I hope you can relax a bit better tonight to sleep.  Do you ever take xanax or ativan to help you calm down a bit to sleep.  

Quoting suzeebloch:

well I'm up early - yay me - at 11:45.  Tossing and turning and so I'm up.  Not gonna waste my time trying to get back to sleep now.  Will explain the tossing and turning  ...

Work was pathetic yesterday.  I do need to get an earlier start.  I only earned $28 yesterday.  One of my colleagues from the previous FL group, is quitting effective December 15.  Another already quit.  Both due to the VR issue.  Can't blame them.  I haven't had enough time to come up for air to even think about looking for a different income source.  That's part of the tossing/turning.

Housekeeper, OT and nurse were all at parents yesterday.  Ulcers on mom's bottom are healing nicely but nurse has to take photos to document.  In the photos, they look horrible.  Nurse and OT say their records show no one from home health called to report mom to APS and assume it was the hospital.  They said if they had called APS they would have told us.  Both confirmed this independently (weren't there at the same time).  The APS worker did call me yesterday and she's coming over next Tuesday to talk to me and dad.  This was part of the tossing and turning.

Mom got a $400 check in the mail Monday from her bank.  No memo on the check to indicate what it was from/for.  Dad took it to the bank to deposit it in mom's account yesterday and was told mom needs to sign it.  Well, she can't.  So, I took it with me as the bank is less than a block from my apartment.  I don't know WHO he talked to, or more  importantly HOW he asked, but you don't need a signature on a check to deposit it.   When I had the appointment 2 weeks ago with eldercare lawyer, dad provided me with bank statements - between the two of them there is about $40K in savings/checking accounts.  The teller at the bank confirmed my signature is on mom's accounts - then she offered to print out a summary of the accounts I'm on - turns out mom alone has over $80K in combined checking (2 accounts), savings and money market accounts.  The $400 check was a distribution from IRA but since no one else is on that account, she couldn't tell me that account's balance.  This is a MAJOR deal now since mom and dad combined need to spend down their account balances to no more than $25K before Medicaid covers cost of nursing home.  Meaning all mom's money will be spent first for nursing home before Medicaid will step in to pay.  At $6500 a month, I've calculated mom would be in nursing home at minimum 11 months self-pay.  I called and left a message with elder care lawyer's assistant since I still haven't gotten the paperwork to get financial power of attorney - which I'll need to see what other IRAs she may have out there and their balances.   It is obvious to me Dad has slipped quite a few notches here.  I need to get financial POA for his finances as well.  Dad simply doesn't have a handle on this.  I know he is able to pay his bills and such but he obviously didn't know about these other accounts mom had!  I'm quite certain he wasn't trying to hide this from me.  This was the biggest part of my tossing and turning and why I'm wide awake now instead of sleeping.

I stopped at Great Clips and got my hair cut after that to take my mind off of that whole money issue for a short amount of time, but all those things hit me hard at 11:30 and I can't shut it off.  My heart feels heavy too - it's so sad that mom needs the care and it is so freaking expensive - nothing we can do about it now though.  Hoping the attorney calls me.

ugh ugh ugh.  So, going to do my EMW now then head over to FL group.  Today taking Tom to see his shrink at 11:45 - and then PT is coming over at 1 for mom.  I sure hope I can turn my brain off tonight so I get a good night's sleep.  I did get just under 5 hours sleep though so I guess that's not too bad considering 7 is optimal for me anyway.

ugh.  yay wednesday.


darmomusaf
by Gold Member on Dec. 6, 2017 at 6:14 AM
1 mom liked this

It's a work day for me, hoping all the decorating is done there! But it seems that everytime I think we are done, someone finds something else that we could do! I do have a door to decorate, but that seems easy compared to the rest!! Family meetings today, and just trying to get everything else caught up! Maybe, try to organize my office just a bit!!

An evening at home, I really have to finish decorating here too! Our outside is done! Now for the inside. Hubby pulled his back yesterday, so not sure what help he may be, but we will do what we can!!! 

annie-durham
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2017 at 6:18 AM

Happy hump day everyone.  I was up at 5:30 this morning, had to use the bathroom then couldnt' get back to sleep.  Like Ronna just stuff going through my mind, although mine is not as worrisome as hers.

Tonight is my granddaughter Emily's christmas concert at her daycare.  Its always a very cute show.   She is being very contrary lately about her clothes so we don't know if she will wear the green shirt she is supposed to.  My daughter said if she kicks up a fuss they are not going so it will be a last minute decision.

Its cold and windy today.  We have a windchill of about 20 today.   We might have some snow flurries today and tomorrow but nothing to worry about.

I'm meeting my sister to shop today.  She has no idea what to get my 3 kids and their spouses or my 4 grandchildren.  She is on a very limited budget too so should be interesting.  They have told her just to buy for the kids but she still wants to get them all something. 

suzeebloch
by Ronna on Dec. 6, 2017 at 6:23 AM

thanks.  I take melatonin and benadryl at bedtime but I guess they both wore off and brain would not shut up and that's why I woke up.  I've never taken Ativan but I took Xanax years ago - however, it's by prescription only so I'd have to find time to see a doctor and then pay for that visit and the prescription ... I. Can't. Win. For. Losing.

Medicaid has a five-year look back, so no, monies can't be transferred now - it's five years too late for that.  I guess worst case scenario, we will find a lesser expensive nursing home and just place mom there for now.  Her money would go a little bit further that way. Parents took care to make sure brother and I were on all their accounts and deed to the house if they DIED.  But, nursing home will eat up all that money and potentially take the house away, too.  Sickening, isn't it?!


Quoting annie-durham:

Oh Ronna that all sounds so awful and so stressful.  I would not be sleeping either.  Geez I was awake at 5:30 this morning and couldnt' get back to sleep just thinking about the various xmas gifts I still have to buy.

Is there any way you can transfer some of that money to you or your brother just so it looks like less.  Although that is probably not legal and they would probably know.  

And for the hospital reporting you guys that would majorly stress me out like you I'd be imagining them carting me off to prison.  

I hope you can relax a bit better tonight to sleep.  Do you ever take xanax or ativan to help you calm down a bit to sleep.  

Quoting suzeebloch:

well I'm up early - yay me - at 11:45.  Tossing and turning and so I'm up.  Not gonna waste my time trying to get back to sleep now.  Will explain the tossing and turning  ...

Work was pathetic yesterday.  I do need to get an earlier start.  I only earned $28 yesterday.  One of my colleagues from the previous FL group, is quitting effective December 15.  Another already quit.  Both due to the VR issue.  Can't blame them.  I haven't had enough time to come up for air to even think about looking for a different income source.  That's part of the tossing/turning.

Housekeeper, OT and nurse were all at parents yesterday.  Ulcers on mom's bottom are healing nicely but nurse has to take photos to document.  In the photos, they look horrible.  Nurse and OT say their records show no one from home health called to report mom to APS and assume it was the hospital.  They said if they had called APS they would have told us.  Both confirmed this independently (weren't there at the same time).  The APS worker did call me yesterday and she's coming over next Tuesday to talk to me and dad.  This was part of the tossing and turning.

Mom got a $400 check in the mail Monday from her bank.  No memo on the check to indicate what it was from/for.  Dad took it to the bank to deposit it in mom's account yesterday and was told mom needs to sign it.  Well, she can't.  So, I took it with me as the bank is less than a block from my apartment.  I don't know WHO he talked to, or more  importantly HOW he asked, but you don't need a signature on a check to deposit it.   When I had the appointment 2 weeks ago with eldercare lawyer, dad provided me with bank statements - between the two of them there is about $40K in savings/checking accounts.  The teller at the bank confirmed my signature is on mom's accounts - then she offered to print out a summary of the accounts I'm on - turns out mom alone has over $80K in combined checking (2 accounts), savings and money market accounts.  The $400 check was a distribution from IRA but since no one else is on that account, she couldn't tell me that account's balance.  This is a MAJOR deal now since mom and dad combined need to spend down their account balances to no more than $25K before Medicaid covers cost of nursing home.  Meaning all mom's money will be spent first for nursing home before Medicaid will step in to pay.  At $6500 a month, I've calculated mom would be in nursing home at minimum 11 months self-pay.  I called and left a message with elder care lawyer's assistant since I still haven't gotten the paperwork to get financial power of attorney - which I'll need to see what other IRAs she may have out there and their balances.   It is obvious to me Dad has slipped quite a few notches here.  I need to get financial POA for his finances as well.  Dad simply doesn't have a handle on this.  I know he is able to pay his bills and such but he obviously didn't know about these other accounts mom had!  I'm quite certain he wasn't trying to hide this from me.  This was the biggest part of my tossing and turning and why I'm wide awake now instead of sleeping.

I stopped at Great Clips and got my hair cut after that to take my mind off of that whole money issue for a short amount of time, but all those things hit me hard at 11:30 and I can't shut it off.  My heart feels heavy too - it's so sad that mom needs the care and it is so freaking expensive - nothing we can do about it now though.  Hoping the attorney calls me.

ugh ugh ugh.  So, going to do my EMW now then head over to FL group.  Today taking Tom to see his shrink at 11:45 - and then PT is coming over at 1 for mom.  I sure hope I can turn my brain off tonight so I get a good night's sleep.  I did get just under 5 hours sleep though so I guess that's not too bad considering 7 is optimal for me anyway.

ugh.  yay wednesday.


louannwilkins
by Louann on Dec. 6, 2017 at 6:43 AM

Oh gosh Ronna....my heart hurts for you and all that you're going through.  I wish I could say or do something to make it better.  I can understand why you were tossing and turning.  I would be doing the same thing.  I imagine the APS person wants to speak to you all about the need for putting here in a facility.  I would be ON that lawyer's office and tell them it was VERY important that we have a meeting right away!!  I'd want that to take place before the APS meeting if possible.  Ugh....again, I feel so bad for you....for all of you.  Hugs and prayers.  You know how to reach me if you want to talk or text or whatever.

On to a different subject...the ones who have and are leaving the job you do.  Do you know what kind of job they got?  Another work at home?  Just wondering if it was anything that could help you in the future.  One more thing for you to worry about.  Please take care of you...somehow...I know you don't have any extra time but try to be mindful of YOU as much as you can.  You are shouldering a LOT.  Hang in there.  I'm here if you need me

Quoting suzeebloch:

well I'm up early - yay me - at 11:45.  Tossing and turning and so I'm up.  Not gonna waste my time trying to get back to sleep now.  Will explain the tossing and turning  ...

Work was pathetic yesterday.  I do need to get an earlier start.  I only earned $28 yesterday.  One of my colleagues from the previous FL group, is quitting effective December 15.  Another already quit.  Both due to the VR issue.  Can't blame them.  I haven't had enough time to come up for air to even think about looking for a different income source.  That's part of the tossing/turning.

Housekeeper, OT and nurse were all at parents yesterday.  Ulcers on mom's bottom are healing nicely but nurse has to take photos to document.  In the photos, they look horrible.  Nurse and OT say their records show no one from home health called to report mom to APS and assume it was the hospital.  They said if they had called APS they would have told us.  Both confirmed this independently (weren't there at the same time).  The APS worker did call me yesterday and she's coming over next Tuesday to talk to me and dad.  This was part of the tossing and turning.

Mom got a $400 check in the mail Monday from her bank.  No memo on the check to indicate what it was from/for.  Dad took it to the bank to deposit it in mom's account yesterday and was told mom needs to sign it.  Well, she can't.  So, I took it with me as the bank is less than a block from my apartment.  I don't know WHO he talked to, or more  importantly HOW he asked, but you don't need a signature on a check to deposit it.   When I had the appointment 2 weeks ago with eldercare lawyer, dad provided me with bank statements - between the two of them there is about $40K in savings/checking accounts.  The teller at the bank confirmed my signature is on mom's accounts - then she offered to print out a summary of the accounts I'm on - turns out mom alone has over $80K in combined checking (2 accounts), savings and money market accounts.  The $400 check was a distribution from IRA but since no one else is on that account, she couldn't tell me that account's balance.  This is a MAJOR deal now since mom and dad combined need to spend down their account balances to no more than $25K before Medicaid covers cost of nursing home.  Meaning all mom's money will be spent first for nursing home before Medicaid will step in to pay.  At $6500 a month, I've calculated mom would be in nursing home at minimum 11 months self-pay.  I called and left a message with elder care lawyer's assistant since I still haven't gotten the paperwork to get financial power of attorney - which I'll need to see what other IRAs she may have out there and their balances.   It is obvious to me Dad has slipped quite a few notches here.  I need to get financial POA for his finances as well.  Dad simply doesn't have a handle on this.  I know he is able to pay his bills and such but he obviously didn't know about these other accounts mom had!  I'm quite certain he wasn't trying to hide this from me.  This was the biggest part of my tossing and turning and why I'm wide awake now instead of sleeping.

I stopped at Great Clips and got my hair cut after that to take my mind off of that whole money issue for a short amount of time, but all those things hit me hard at 11:30 and I can't shut it off.  My heart feels heavy too - it's so sad that mom needs the care and it is so freaking expensive - nothing we can do about it now though.  Hoping the attorney calls me.

ugh ugh ugh.  So, going to do my EMW now then head over to FL group.  Today taking Tom to see his shrink at 11:45 - and then PT is coming over at 1 for mom.  I sure hope I can turn my brain off tonight so I get a good night's sleep.  I did get just under 5 hours sleep though so I guess that's not too bad considering 7 is optimal for me anyway.

ugh.  yay wednesday.


louannwilkins
by Louann on Dec. 6, 2017 at 6:46 AM

Seems like there would be a way they could "gift" you some money or even "pay" you for going over all this time.  I know that might sound bad but I'd at least ask the lawyer.  It's awful that the money will be gone like that.  :(

Quoting suzeebloch:

thanks.  I take melatonin and benadryl at bedtime but I guess they both wore off and brain would not shut up and that's why I woke up.  I've never taken Ativan but I took Xanax years ago - however, it's by prescription only so I'd have to find time to see a doctor and then pay for that visit and the prescription ... I. Can't. Win. For. Losing.

Medicaid has a five-year look back, so no, monies can't be transferred now - it's five years too late for that.  I guess worst case scenario, we will find a lesser expensive nursing home and just place mom there for now.  Her money would go a little bit further that way. Parents took care to make sure brother and I were on all their accounts and deed to the house if they DIED.  But, nursing home will eat up all that money and potentially take the house away, too.  Sickening, isn't it?!

Quoting annie-durham:

Oh Ronna that all sounds so awful and so stressful.  I would not be sleeping either.  Geez I was awake at 5:30 this morning and couldnt' get back to sleep just thinking about the various xmas gifts I still have to buy.

Is there any way you can transfer some of that money to you or your brother just so it looks like less.  Although that is probably not legal and they would probably know.  

And for the hospital reporting you guys that would majorly stress me out like you I'd be imagining them carting me off to prison.  

I hope you can relax a bit better tonight to sleep.  Do you ever take xanax or ativan to help you calm down a bit to sleep.  

Quoting suzeebloch:

well I'm up early - yay me - at 11:45.  Tossing and turning and so I'm up.  Not gonna waste my time trying to get back to sleep now.  Will explain the tossing and turning  ...

Work was pathetic yesterday.  I do need to get an earlier start.  I only earned $28 yesterday.  One of my colleagues from the previous FL group, is quitting effective December 15.  Another already quit.  Both due to the VR issue.  Can't blame them.  I haven't had enough time to come up for air to even think about looking for a different income source.  That's part of the tossing/turning.

Housekeeper, OT and nurse were all at parents yesterday.  Ulcers on mom's bottom are healing nicely but nurse has to take photos to document.  In the photos, they look horrible.  Nurse and OT say their records show no one from home health called to report mom to APS and assume it was the hospital.  They said if they had called APS they would have told us.  Both confirmed this independently (weren't there at the same time).  The APS worker did call me yesterday and she's coming over next Tuesday to talk to me and dad.  This was part of the tossing and turning.

Mom got a $400 check in the mail Monday from her bank.  No memo on the check to indicate what it was from/for.  Dad took it to the bank to deposit it in mom's account yesterday and was told mom needs to sign it.  Well, she can't.  So, I took it with me as the bank is less than a block from my apartment.  I don't know WHO he talked to, or more  importantly HOW he asked, but you don't need a signature on a check to deposit it.   When I had the appointment 2 weeks ago with eldercare lawyer, dad provided me with bank statements - between the two of them there is about $40K in savings/checking accounts.  The teller at the bank confirmed my signature is on mom's accounts - then she offered to print out a summary of the accounts I'm on - turns out mom alone has over $80K in combined checking (2 accounts), savings and money market accounts.  The $400 check was a distribution from IRA but since no one else is on that account, she couldn't tell me that account's balance.  This is a MAJOR deal now since mom and dad combined need to spend down their account balances to no more than $25K before Medicaid covers cost of nursing home.  Meaning all mom's money will be spent first for nursing home before Medicaid will step in to pay.  At $6500 a month, I've calculated mom would be in nursing home at minimum 11 months self-pay.  I called and left a message with elder care lawyer's assistant since I still haven't gotten the paperwork to get financial power of attorney - which I'll need to see what other IRAs she may have out there and their balances.   It is obvious to me Dad has slipped quite a few notches here.  I need to get financial POA for his finances as well.  Dad simply doesn't have a handle on this.  I know he is able to pay his bills and such but he obviously didn't know about these other accounts mom had!  I'm quite certain he wasn't trying to hide this from me.  This was the biggest part of my tossing and turning and why I'm wide awake now instead of sleeping.

I stopped at Great Clips and got my hair cut after that to take my mind off of that whole money issue for a short amount of time, but all those things hit me hard at 11:30 and I can't shut it off.  My heart feels heavy too - it's so sad that mom needs the care and it is so freaking expensive - nothing we can do about it now though.  Hoping the attorney calls me.

ugh ugh ugh.  So, going to do my EMW now then head over to FL group.  Today taking Tom to see his shrink at 11:45 - and then PT is coming over at 1 for mom.  I sure hope I can turn my brain off tonight so I get a good night's sleep.  I did get just under 5 hours sleep though so I guess that's not too bad considering 7 is optimal for me anyway.

ugh.  yay wednesday.


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