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What are you doing today....Wednesday?

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come tell us....

by on Dec. 5, 2017 at 8:59 PM
Replies (11-19):
louannwilkins
by Louann on Dec. 6, 2017 at 6:48 AM

Good morning...heading out soon.  It will be a fairly long day.  I'll be going to Mr M's and then Patty's and then a hair cut.  I might call the dr back and see if they have any late afternoon apts today or tomorrow.  ugh...to think this could have been all behind me if only they hadn't cancelled.

That's about it.  Took mom to the heart dr yesterday and he increased one of the BP meds so I'm hoping that will be the fix she needs.

Hope you all have a good day!

suzeebloch
by Ronna on Dec. 6, 2017 at 7:01 AM
1 mom liked this

The 2 gals who quit - one is already 73 and retired.  This was her 'mad money'.  And she's married.  She decided it was time to retire for good.

The other gal is also married but works 2 other jobs already.  I think this was a part-time job for her.


Yeah, I do need to get in touch with the lawyer.  Parents have a lot more money than I realized - and I'm pretty sure dad is not aware of that.  I don't know about them "paying" me for helping out.  Guess I'd end up having to pay taxes on it, too?  I'll ask the lawyer about that as well.

Quoting louannwilkins:

Oh gosh Ronna....my heart hurts for you and all that you're going through.  I wish I could say or do something to make it better.  I can understand why you were tossing and turning.  I would be doing the same thing.  I imagine the APS person wants to speak to you all about the need for putting here in a facility.  I would be ON that lawyer's office and tell them it was VERY important that we have a meeting right away!!  I'd want that to take place before the APS meeting if possible.  Ugh....again, I feel so bad for you....for all of you.  Hugs and prayers.  You know how to reach me if you want to talk or text or whatever.

On to a different subject...the ones who have and are leaving the job you do.  Do you know what kind of job they got?  Another work at home?  Just wondering if it was anything that could help you in the future.  One more thing for you to worry about.  Please take care of you...somehow...I know you don't have any extra time but try to be mindful of YOU as much as you can.  You are shouldering a LOT.  Hang in there.  I'm here if you need me

Quoting suzeebloch:

well I'm up early - yay me - at 11:45.  Tossing and turning and so I'm up.  Not gonna waste my time trying to get back to sleep now.  Will explain the tossing and turning  ...

Work was pathetic yesterday.  I do need to get an earlier start.  I only earned $28 yesterday.  One of my colleagues from the previous FL group, is quitting effective December 15.  Another already quit.  Both due to the VR issue.  Can't blame them.  I haven't had enough time to come up for air to even think about looking for a different income source.  That's part of the tossing/turning.

Housekeeper, OT and nurse were all at parents yesterday.  Ulcers on mom's bottom are healing nicely but nurse has to take photos to document.  In the photos, they look horrible.  Nurse and OT say their records show no one from home health called to report mom to APS and assume it was the hospital.  They said if they had called APS they would have told us.  Both confirmed this independently (weren't there at the same time).  The APS worker did call me yesterday and she's coming over next Tuesday to talk to me and dad.  This was part of the tossing and turning.

Mom got a $400 check in the mail Monday from her bank.  No memo on the check to indicate what it was from/for.  Dad took it to the bank to deposit it in mom's account yesterday and was told mom needs to sign it.  Well, she can't.  So, I took it with me as the bank is less than a block from my apartment.  I don't know WHO he talked to, or more  importantly HOW he asked, but you don't need a signature on a check to deposit it.   When I had the appointment 2 weeks ago with eldercare lawyer, dad provided me with bank statements - between the two of them there is about $40K in savings/checking accounts.  The teller at the bank confirmed my signature is on mom's accounts - then she offered to print out a summary of the accounts I'm on - turns out mom alone has over $80K in combined checking (2 accounts), savings and money market accounts.  The $400 check was a distribution from IRA but since no one else is on that account, she couldn't tell me that account's balance.  This is a MAJOR deal now since mom and dad combined need to spend down their account balances to no more than $25K before Medicaid covers cost of nursing home.  Meaning all mom's money will be spent first for nursing home before Medicaid will step in to pay.  At $6500 a month, I've calculated mom would be in nursing home at minimum 11 months self-pay.  I called and left a message with elder care lawyer's assistant since I still haven't gotten the paperwork to get financial power of attorney - which I'll need to see what other IRAs she may have out there and their balances.   It is obvious to me Dad has slipped quite a few notches here.  I need to get financial POA for his finances as well.  Dad simply doesn't have a handle on this.  I know he is able to pay his bills and such but he obviously didn't know about these other accounts mom had!  I'm quite certain he wasn't trying to hide this from me.  This was the biggest part of my tossing and turning and why I'm wide awake now instead of sleeping.

I stopped at Great Clips and got my hair cut after that to take my mind off of that whole money issue for a short amount of time, but all those things hit me hard at 11:30 and I can't shut it off.  My heart feels heavy too - it's so sad that mom needs the care and it is so freaking expensive - nothing we can do about it now though.  Hoping the attorney calls me.

ugh ugh ugh.  So, going to do my EMW now then head over to FL group.  Today taking Tom to see his shrink at 11:45 - and then PT is coming over at 1 for mom.  I sure hope I can turn my brain off tonight so I get a good night's sleep.  I did get just under 5 hours sleep though so I guess that's not too bad considering 7 is optimal for me anyway.

ugh.  yay wednesday.


louannwilkins
by Louann on Dec. 6, 2017 at 7:21 AM

Honestly I'm not sure but it seems like you can gift a certain amount (it might be up to 10,000) and not pay taxes on it since it's a gift or something like that.  I'm really not sure.  But...if that's the case maybe the lawyer could put whatever the amount is into some kind of special account or trust for you for back pay and current pay?  I don't know but I'd be asking questions too. 

Quoting suzeebloch:

The 2 gals who quit - one is already 73 and retired.  This was her 'mad money'.  And she's married.  She decided it was time to retire for good.

The other gal is also married but works 2 other jobs already.  I think this was a part-time job for her.


Yeah, I do need to get in touch with the lawyer.  Parents have a lot more money than I realized - and I'm pretty sure dad is not aware of that.  I don't know about them "paying" me for helping out.  Guess I'd end up having to pay taxes on it, too?  I'll ask the lawyer about that as well.

Quoting louannwilkins:

Oh gosh Ronna....my heart hurts for you and all that you're going through.  I wish I could say or do something to make it better.  I can understand why you were tossing and turning.  I would be doing the same thing.  I imagine the APS person wants to speak to you all about the need for putting here in a facility.  I would be ON that lawyer's office and tell them it was VERY important that we have a meeting right away!!  I'd want that to take place before the APS meeting if possible.  Ugh....again, I feel so bad for you....for all of you.  Hugs and prayers.  You know how to reach me if you want to talk or text or whatever.

On to a different subject...the ones who have and are leaving the job you do.  Do you know what kind of job they got?  Another work at home?  Just wondering if it was anything that could help you in the future.  One more thing for you to worry about.  Please take care of you...somehow...I know you don't have any extra time but try to be mindful of YOU as much as you can.  You are shouldering a LOT.  Hang in there.  I'm here if you need me

Quoting suzeebloch:

well I'm up early - yay me - at 11:45.  Tossing and turning and so I'm up.  Not gonna waste my time trying to get back to sleep now.  Will explain the tossing and turning  ...

Work was pathetic yesterday.  I do need to get an earlier start.  I only earned $28 yesterday.  One of my colleagues from the previous FL group, is quitting effective December 15.  Another already quit.  Both due to the VR issue.  Can't blame them.  I haven't had enough time to come up for air to even think about looking for a different income source.  That's part of the tossing/turning.

Housekeeper, OT and nurse were all at parents yesterday.  Ulcers on mom's bottom are healing nicely but nurse has to take photos to document.  In the photos, they look horrible.  Nurse and OT say their records show no one from home health called to report mom to APS and assume it was the hospital.  They said if they had called APS they would have told us.  Both confirmed this independently (weren't there at the same time).  The APS worker did call me yesterday and she's coming over next Tuesday to talk to me and dad.  This was part of the tossing and turning.

Mom got a $400 check in the mail Monday from her bank.  No memo on the check to indicate what it was from/for.  Dad took it to the bank to deposit it in mom's account yesterday and was told mom needs to sign it.  Well, she can't.  So, I took it with me as the bank is less than a block from my apartment.  I don't know WHO he talked to, or more  importantly HOW he asked, but you don't need a signature on a check to deposit it.   When I had the appointment 2 weeks ago with eldercare lawyer, dad provided me with bank statements - between the two of them there is about $40K in savings/checking accounts.  The teller at the bank confirmed my signature is on mom's accounts - then she offered to print out a summary of the accounts I'm on - turns out mom alone has over $80K in combined checking (2 accounts), savings and money market accounts.  The $400 check was a distribution from IRA but since no one else is on that account, she couldn't tell me that account's balance.  This is a MAJOR deal now since mom and dad combined need to spend down their account balances to no more than $25K before Medicaid covers cost of nursing home.  Meaning all mom's money will be spent first for nursing home before Medicaid will step in to pay.  At $6500 a month, I've calculated mom would be in nursing home at minimum 11 months self-pay.  I called and left a message with elder care lawyer's assistant since I still haven't gotten the paperwork to get financial power of attorney - which I'll need to see what other IRAs she may have out there and their balances.   It is obvious to me Dad has slipped quite a few notches here.  I need to get financial POA for his finances as well.  Dad simply doesn't have a handle on this.  I know he is able to pay his bills and such but he obviously didn't know about these other accounts mom had!  I'm quite certain he wasn't trying to hide this from me.  This was the biggest part of my tossing and turning and why I'm wide awake now instead of sleeping.

I stopped at Great Clips and got my hair cut after that to take my mind off of that whole money issue for a short amount of time, but all those things hit me hard at 11:30 and I can't shut it off.  My heart feels heavy too - it's so sad that mom needs the care and it is so freaking expensive - nothing we can do about it now though.  Hoping the attorney calls me.

ugh ugh ugh.  So, going to do my EMW now then head over to FL group.  Today taking Tom to see his shrink at 11:45 - and then PT is coming over at 1 for mom.  I sure hope I can turn my brain off tonight so I get a good night's sleep.  I did get just under 5 hours sleep though so I guess that's not too bad considering 7 is optimal for me anyway.

ugh.  yay wednesday.


Why123
by Nancy on Dec. 6, 2017 at 9:11 AM
1 mom liked this

Working.  It has been a busy week.  I am really looking forward to the week off at Christmas.  I feel so bad for Ronna.  I wish there was something I could do to help.

kuntrylady56
by Platinum Member on Dec. 6, 2017 at 10:38 AM
1 mom liked this

Morning everyone. Reading Ronnas post is kind of an eye opener, that even though we may all be fairly healthy and able to take care of ourselves now. What happens when we can't? I have heard of long time care insurance but I'm sure its expensive. I would not want to put this burden on my daughter or grandchildren. I think its something I will be talking to someone about after the first of the year for sure. I was looking on the Department of Aging web site and they have a lot of information but I would rather talk to someone in person.

Sending lots of hugs Ronna's direction!

Today I have to take my cat Buttons to the vet to get her monthly steroid shot but thats not until eleven. I hadn't heard from the lady about I had spoken to about the nannny job, so I messaged her last night. And she emailed that her and her family all have the flu and she was sorry she hadn't gotten back to me. But she still wants me for the job,s he just wants to make sure the kids will like me and go over details. She sent me her phone number and also told she would be calling by the end of the week hopefully. So thats good news.

I really have to get my butt in gear and get my tree up. Was hoping to get a live tree this year but they are so expensive.  And I wanted one we could plant later instead of just throwing it away or having it chopped up for mulch. Oh well, the artificial one will just have to do. Not looking forward to trying to keep our newest fur baby out of it though. She is a handful as is, can imagine whats shes going to do with all the pretties n the tree.lol Will have to secure it to my curtain rod with some heavy duty fishing line,I guess. This is totally the way they think:



atlmom2
by Susie on Dec. 6, 2017 at 11:12 AM
They all went whale watching today but me. The chance of sea sickness made me stay back. After is lunch and we have our last dinner with our son in law before he deploys tonight. He leaves Friday and we are busy all day and evening tomorrow. IF I has known I would have switched something around for Thurs but that is ok.
suzeebloch
by Ronna on Dec. 6, 2017 at 11:23 AM

Thanks, Nancy and Evelyn!  This has been quite the ride, let me tell you.

My mom didn't have to take care of elderly parents - she was living in the US when her parents passed.

My dad helped take care of his mom - she lived literally between their house and the grade school I walked to.  She didn't have dementia and was actually quite healthy other than being born with only one kidney.  He took her to/from 'beauty salon' once a month and up to the senior citizen place where they did crafts, had visitors come entertain them, etc.  My grandpa passed away in the hospital from a heart attack. 

So this has been quite the eye opener!  Yes, my brother and I would be well-provided for - if the parents die at home or in the hospital!  but other than that - well, I shouldn't think of just the money or the house but that's what my parents intended to leave us all along.  Now it probably won't be happening at all.

If you take out long-term insurance while you are young, then the premiums would be manageable - but heck I'm already 58.  I have no clue what the premiums would be - and then watch - I'll probably die in my sleep anyway. 

Oh today is just dragging by!  I'm not used to working 8 hours a day anymore!  I started at 3 a.m. for the FL group and still have 30 minutes left in my 6-11 shift.  and ha.  I've earned 37.80.  ugh.  I don't know if this is going to work, to be honest.

smokeyjo
by Jozie on Dec. 6, 2017 at 1:56 PM
Coco had to be in Atlanta at noon so she was up and out by 10 and I had a few things to do in town so I left not long after she did. When I returned I found a box from Amazon in the middle of the drive way and saw a soft package in the pasture, ripped open and the contents— a super soft leather blazer in the pasture as well! I have no idea where the delivery person put the packages. The box was kinda near my friend’s car but I do not know if they were put on the car or what. And of course I took the camera inside to delete the SD card and haven’t put it back up so I can’t check! The coat was okay and only had a few muddy paw prints and the box was unopened.

Anyway. I’m going to start a fire and get the house warmed before it gets any cooler. Have a day!!
annie-durham
by Silver Member on Dec. 6, 2017 at 3:01 PM
1 mom liked this

So I met my sister at Marshalls and then we went to Pier 1.  She was able to get most of the stuff on her list.  Pier 1 has 40% off its christmas ornaments and decorations this week so she got some cute nutcrackers for my daughter and dil.  She got my grandkids all taken care of at marshalls, lots of good deals.  

I took back a book to the library, and returned another book I had bought at the book store.  Home now and making chicken soup for dinner since we'll be running out to the christmas concert.  It will keep if we have to eat it when we come back. 

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