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My son and his half brother - UPDATE link to video in reply #27

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My son Johnny was conceived using donor sperm.  Several years ago, he took the 23 and me DNA test and found he has a half brother!  His mom used the same donor that I did.

They get together at Christmas when Johnny is visiting.

Here are their pictures - my son is wearing the dark hoodie.







by on Dec. 29, 2017 at 10:57 AM
Replies (21-30):
Kimmybabe
by Silver Member on Dec. 30, 2017 at 11:19 PM

Thank you for sharing!!!

There was a time when our oldest couple were being tested for fertility issues that the subject of using a donor was discussed.  Turned out that the issue was with daughter, not the SIL.  They would have used a donor, if it had been his issue.  They struggled with her issue for a few months and decided that they would just adopt and this past September they blessed us with three teen granddaughters, and they expect to do it several more times over the years. 

It's really kind of interesting what all they can do nowadays with egg and sperm and surrogacy. Also super expensive.  We have one couple in the family that spent a mere $100,000 plus on each of two children. 

Another cousin and his wife wanted to bounce ideas off of our couple.  They and both of our young couples went to dinner.  On the somewhat comical side, the couple were worried about people asking about whether it was his sperm, if they went that direction.  SILs chuckled and told them to just say "YES" because once you purchase it, it is your sperm.

One of the things that our oldest couple learned during the licensing for adoption process is that it generally works best if, at the appropriate age and time, the child is aware of the unique way that they became the children of the parents. 

Our OBgyn and her husband have over a dozen children that they adopted and she says that the kids are always curious about other family members. And she says they don't love you any less or different as they reach out to discover those other family members.  Both she and her hubby say that if they were given the choice of paths to make, they would choose this path as it has been a blessing.

DONNAOPULENTO
by Bronze Member on Dec. 31, 2017 at 1:09 AM

That is wonderful.

beadingmom17
by on Dec. 31, 2017 at 1:14 AM
Both have his smile

Quoting Mommy51408: Your son got his nose and mouth and ears. D got his eyes, eyebrows, hairline and coloring.

Quoting suzeebloch:

It is cool.  and we are all friends on FB too.  lol.

I don't and didn't have any weird/skeptical feelings about the bio dad.  If anything, he should be the one who felt weird/skeptical - and how to explain to wife and their 2 sons?  lol.

I found the bio dad's picture online...

what do you think?  which boy got what from bio dad?  lol.

Quoting EireLass:

This is really wonderful for them, and really great that it worked out positively.

Do you, or did you, have any weird/skeptical feelings when they learned of each other or the donor?

Quoting suzeebloch:

The boys are 27.  Johnny was born June 18, D was born December 18, same year - so exactly 6 months apart.  Kinda neat, huh?

D and his wife and kids met the bio dad this past summer.

Johnny has skyped the bio dad a couple of times - sounds like with D and his wife, too.  Bio dad sent the boys a lengthy email initially that was really cool - described his side of the family, where they were from, traits, etc.  Bio dad was a medical student at KU Medical Center (where I was working when Johnny was conceived) and is now a doctor in Colorado.

D's wife is the one who actually found the bio dad - she simply wants to know more about her husband's bio dad's side since they have their own kids, and now she does!  Johnny doesn't seem to really "care" one way or the other. 

D grew up in Lawrence, KS which is not too far from me! And of course Johnny grew up in KS but has lived in CA since he left home for college in 2008.

A few years ago, both boys were on a VH1 segment of Swab Stories.  If I can locate that, I'll share it here!

Quoting EireLass:

This is so cool. What are their ages? Where do each of them live? Do they have any interaction with the sperm donor father?

suzeebloch
by Ronna on Dec. 31, 2017 at 7:45 AM

As far as telling Johnny about how he was conceived, that is a story in itself.  In a nutshell, my husband and I divorced when Johnny was only 6 years old.  He fought me tooth and nail for "full custody" of our son for the next 10 years.  From age 6 to 16, Johnny lived a week with me then a week with his dad - we lived a mere 1.5 miles apart.  I paid child support due to the disparity in our incomes - he was on disability by this time - but he was so bitter at me for leaving him that taking Johnny away from me was his sole thought.  He threatened me often I better not DARE tell Johnny he wasn't the bio dad.  So, I didn't.

MY reason was, I wanted Johnny to be able to make his decision about his dad without being biased about the biology of it and decided to wait until his 18th birthday when he was legally an adult and the 'truth' could not be used against me.  Johnny had estranged himself from his dad when he was 16 and lived with me full time.  I told Johnny about 2 weeks before he turned 18 since he left for college then.  He was like, "oh, really?" 

Quoting Kimmybabe:

Thank you for sharing!!!

There was a time when our oldest couple were being tested for fertility issues that the subject of using a donor was discussed.  Turned out that the issue was with daughter, not the SIL.  They would have used a donor, if it had been his issue.  They struggled with her issue for a few months and decided that they would just adopt and this past September they blessed us with three teen granddaughters, and they expect to do it several more times over the years. 

It's really kind of interesting what all they can do nowadays with egg and sperm and surrogacy. Also super expensive.  We have one couple in the family that spent a mere $100,000 plus on each of two children. 

Another cousin and his wife wanted to bounce ideas off of our couple.  They and both of our young couples went to dinner.  On the somewhat comical side, the couple were worried about people asking about whether it was his sperm, if they went that direction.  SILs chuckled and told them to just say "YES" because once you purchase it, it is your sperm.

One of the things that our oldest couple learned during the licensing for adoption process is that it generally works best if, at the appropriate age and time, the child is aware of the unique way that they became the children of the parents. 

Our OBgyn and her husband have over a dozen children that they adopted and she says that the kids are always curious about other family members. And she says they don't love you any less or different as they reach out to discover those other family members.  Both she and her hubby say that if they were given the choice of paths to make, they would choose this path as it has been a blessing.


EireLass
by Platinum Member on Dec. 31, 2017 at 10:08 AM

I'm not surprised by Johnny's reaction. You come across very level headed, very relaxed, 'life goes on' type of person, and you've obviously infused that wonderful part of you into him.

Quoting suzeebloch:

As far as telling Johnny about how he was conceived, that is a story in itself.  In a nutshell, my husband and I divorced when Johnny was only 6 years old.  He fought me tooth and nail for "full custody" of our son for the next 10 years.  From age 6 to 16, Johnny lived a week with me then a week with his dad - we lived a mere 1.5 miles apart.  I paid child support due to the disparity in our incomes - he was on disability by this time - but he was so bitter at me for leaving him that taking Johnny away from me was his sole thought.  He threatened me often I better not DARE tell Johnny he wasn't the bio dad.  So, I didn't.

MY reason was, I wanted Johnny to be able to make his decision about his dad without being biased about the biology of it and decided to wait until his 18th birthday when he was legally an adult and the 'truth' could not be used against me.  Johnny had estranged himself from his dad when he was 16 and lived with me full time.  I told Johnny about 2 weeks before he turned 18 since he left for college then.  He was like, "oh, really?" 

Quoting Kimmybabe:

Thank you for sharing!!!

There was a time when our oldest couple were being tested for fertility issues that the subject of using a donor was discussed.  Turned out that the issue was with daughter, not the SIL.  They would have used a donor, if it had been his issue.  They struggled with her issue for a few months and decided that they would just adopt and this past September they blessed us with three teen granddaughters, and they expect to do it several more times over the years. 

It's really kind of interesting what all they can do nowadays with egg and sperm and surrogacy. Also super expensive.  We have one couple in the family that spent a mere $100,000 plus on each of two children. 

Another cousin and his wife wanted to bounce ideas off of our couple.  They and both of our young couples went to dinner.  On the somewhat comical side, the couple were worried about people asking about whether it was his sperm, if they went that direction.  SILs chuckled and told them to just say "YES" because once you purchase it, it is your sperm.

One of the things that our oldest couple learned during the licensing for adoption process is that it generally works best if, at the appropriate age and time, the child is aware of the unique way that they became the children of the parents. 

Our OBgyn and her husband have over a dozen children that they adopted and she says that the kids are always curious about other family members. And she says they don't love you any less or different as they reach out to discover those other family members.  Both she and her hubby say that if they were given the choice of paths to make, they would choose this path as it has been a blessing.


Shadylady33
by Member on Dec. 31, 2017 at 11:53 PM

That is awesome!!!

suzeebloch
by Ronna on Jan. 1, 2018 at 8:16 PM
1 mom liked this

So far, I can only find a link to a FB video

https://www.facebook.com/SwabStoriesVH1/videos/854086047978832/

this was a bonus clip from the season finale.

Mom2Boys9501
by Member on Jan. 2, 2018 at 8:18 PM
Curious question.
How does 23 and me help find other siblings?
suzeebloch
by Ronna on Jan. 2, 2018 at 8:44 PM

You get alerts through their website of other potential family members that have also taken the same test and have signed up on the website.


Quoting Mom2Boys9501: Curious question. How does 23 and me help find other siblings?


Mom2Boys9501
by Member on Jan. 2, 2018 at 8:54 PM
Thank you

Quoting suzeebloch:

You
get alerts through their website of other potential family members that
have also taken the same test and have signed up on the website.

Quoting Mom2Boys9501: Curious question.
How does 23 and me help find other siblings?

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