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Do you succumb to the spirit of indulgence towards your children?

Posted by on Apr. 16, 2018 at 5:11 PM
  • 26 Replies
1 mom liked this

Do you find it hard to resist the temptation of giving to your adult children?

by on Apr. 16, 2018 at 5:11 PM
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annie-durham
by Silver Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 5:15 PM
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Not really.   My 3 adult children are doing very well.  My oldest is a lawyer, middle one is in IT sales and youngest works for a major airline as a mechanic.  They are doing better than we are, so they tend to give to us. 

Now my grandchildren I spoil completely, even though they dont' need anything.  

lovingladyo4
by Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 5:15 PM
1 mom liked this

Depends on them and their situation. Not one clear cut answer to this question.

If the adult child has exhibited mature responsible behavior, and has take the initiative to provide for themselves, without prior motives of depending on someone to do for them what they should be doing themselves, then I would consider it, but again, depending on their past track record of independence vs. co-dependency.

EireLass
by Platinum Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 5:28 PM
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Giving, like buying them things? Nah. 

DONNAOPULENTO
by Bronze Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 5:35 PM
3 moms liked this

I enjoy my gift of giving to my children and theirs.  Be it physical, emotional, financial, intellectual or spiritual.  I just do not want them to wonder or be without the experience of having, trying, tasting and being what could have, would have, or should have.  Life is so precious and we don't realize what we have until it is gone.  

DONNAOPULENTO
by Bronze Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 5:42 PM

Indeed. 

Quoting annie-durham:

Not really.   My 3 adult children are doing very well.  My oldest is a lawyer, middle one is in IT sales and youngest works for a major airline as a mechanic.  They are doing better than we are, so they tend to give to us. 

Now my grandchildren I spoil completely, even though they dont' need anything.  


DONNAOPULENTO
by Bronze Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 6:14 PM

For example, my oldest daughter is "organic" and she was saying that she could not find any organic mango trees at the nurseries, they were all sprayed with pesticides.  With that in mind, I set out into the forest, beaches and mountains in search of a mango tree away from human habitat and after searching endlessly I find it in the deep bushes surrounded by pokey plants!  I take a pickaxe and start to uproot it just enough to loosen it before I wrap the chain around it and drag it home and plant it in her yard.  Or, they like the taste of rambutan, it is seasonal, so I pick as much as the tree gives then pack it for them.  Or, they want to rappel and say "you can have the honours army mom."   

Quoting lovingladyo4:

Depends on them and their situation. Not one clear cut answer to this question.

If the adult child has exhibited mature responsible behavior, and has take the initiative to provide for themselves, without prior motives of depending on someone to do for them what they should be doing themselves, then I would consider it, but again, depending on their past track record of independence vs. co-dependency.


suzeebloch
by Ronna on Apr. 16, 2018 at 6:51 PM
2 moms liked this

I love to indulge both my children, who both happen to earn more money than I do right now.  That's a good thing for them!  I just don't have much spare time lately to indulge them though.  I can't believe Valentine's day, St. Patrick's Day and Easter have come and gone and I have done nothing.  :o(  It will be the 4th of July if I'm not careful. 

In past years, I've sent them both goodie boxes depending on the holiday (just because a holiday makes a swell excuse).  I use the mid-size "if it fits, it ships" boxes from the post office.  I don't see much spare time on the horizon.  Birthdays are June for my son and July for my daughter, so I better get on the ball!

DONNAOPULENTO
by Bronze Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 7:12 PM

Ah yes, my daughter "craves" for care packages with hawaiian goodies.  My son yearns for kona coffee and hawaiian caramacs.  I send them care packages once a month; I don't want to spoil them...  

Quoting suzeebloch:

I love to indulge both my children, who both happen to earn more money than I do right now.  That's a good thing for them!  I just don't have much spare time lately to indulge them though.  I can't believe Valentine's day, St. Patrick's Day and Easter have come and gone and I have done nothing.  :o(  It will be the 4th of July if I'm not careful. 

In past years, I've sent them both goodie boxes depending on the holiday (just because a holiday makes a swell excuse).  I use the mid-size "if it fits, it ships" boxes from the post office.  I don't see much spare time on the horizon.  Birthdays are June for my son and July for my daughter, so I better get on the ball!


darmomusaf
by Gold Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 7:39 PM
2 moms liked this

I would have to say yes, they are still my kids even if they are adults. But they both help me out when I need it, so it's OK

annie-durham
by Silver Member on Apr. 16, 2018 at 7:57 PM
1 mom liked this

OK that type of indulging I do.  For instance my daughter called me and said she was looking for a particular size of bathing suit for my granddaughter and she wanted me to check the Carters store near me.  I did and they had it so I picked it up for her.  My youngest son used to call me up and ask if I'd go over and feed the dog and let him out because he had to work overtime, again I did this.  I also noticed some leeks in his fridge that were going bad (he had mentioned he was going to make leek and potato soup with them) so I took them home, made the soup and dropped it off at his house.  I indulge them with my time now more so than with buying them things.  

Quoting DONNAOPULENTO:

For example, my oldest daughter is "organic" and she was saying that she could not find any organic mango trees at the nurseries, they were all sprayed with pesticides.  With that in mind, I set out into the forest, beaches and mountains in search of a mango tree away from human habitat and after searching endlessly I find it in the deep bushes surrounded by pokey plants!  I take a pickaxe and start to uproot it just enough to loosen it before I wrap the chain around it and drag it home and plant it in her yard.  Or, they like the taste of rambutan, it is seasonal, so I pick as much as the tree gives then pack it for them.  Or, they want to rappel and say "you can have the honours army mom."   

Quoting lovingladyo4:

Depends on them and their situation. Not one clear cut answer to this question.

If the adult child has exhibited mature responsible behavior, and has take the initiative to provide for themselves, without prior motives of depending on someone to do for them what they should be doing themselves, then I would consider it, but again, depending on their past track record of independence vs. co-dependency.



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