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Hi New here need some advice

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2008 at 10:15 PM
  • 3 Replies
Hi nice to meet you. I think its great that we can meet Mom's from all over. I really need some help. My youngest daughter got married last year. After she got married her husband went to Iraq. They spent about 2 months together. She also moved far away. And has been by herself since he left. This was all her choice. We tried to talk her into staying home until he returns.She has gone through some tough times since he's been gone including a cancer scare. Well, they are not getting along everytime they talk. He forgot to mention that he volunteered to go. Which really hurt her. My thought is ok it's done. Get over it. He comes home next month. She thinks she can't get over it. And possibly wants to leave him. I tell her to talk to him when he gets home. And work on the marriage. What do you think? I tend to be too tough on her sometimes. She is coming home this weekend and I want to talk to her about it.
by on Mar. 28, 2008 at 10:15 PM
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by on Mar. 29, 2008 at 12:44 PM
Hey, nice to meet you to. If she wants to leave him just because she found out he volunteered to go to Iraq, then she isn't very mature.

Given the situation, I would be proud of him and I would be throwing him a parade right about now!!! LOL 

Can it be that she doesn't love him as much as she thought?? Could she be trying to find an excuse to get out of her marriage?? Questions to ponder, right!!

Here's my advice, coming from 33 yrs of experience. I think she doesn't like the loneliness and I can relate if this is the case. My husband is a cabbie, which takes him away from me at all hours of the day and night. My love for him outweighs this. What you need to ask of her is, "How much do you love him?"

I hope you get a satisfactory answer. If not, then, she may have made a mistake. How old is she? How old is he? How long have they been married?

Good luck and God bless
by on Mar. 29, 2008 at 6:52 PM

It seems that both your daughter and sil have had some life altering  experiences since they have been a part.  I am sure that being in Iraq is no picnic nor is a cancer scare.  These kinda things often make you step back and take a good look at the  big picture.  You do not say how old they are or how long he has been gone.   Marriages in the early years take a lot of work and being apart does not help.  Being apart involves trust issues and speaking from experience cause I have lived apart from my  husband for years, a new marriage just does not have that sometimes.  It is something that grows as we mature into a couple.  He broke that trust by not telling her he volunteered and maybe she feels like she can't trust him anymore.  these are just some of my thoughts on the matter and only my opinion.  Give her some time and an ear without judgement  to work on what it is she is feeling, but know as an adult  the choice is ultimately hers .

by on Apr. 1, 2008 at 11:43 PM
Thank You so much for the advice. I really appreciate it. They are both 21. And were only married 2 months before he left. I know what you mean. I'm proud of him he really is a good kid. And we just fell in love with him. So we hate to see the marriage end. She does have a trust issue with him now. That I hope that once he comes home they can work on. Anyway again thanks.
 :-) Kadee
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