Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Moms with Adult Kids Moms with Adult Kids

hello - and an introduction

Posted by on Oct. 4, 2008 at 7:06 PM
  • 9 Replies

Hello all!

My name is Tracy, a 46 year old Mom from the coast of North Carolina.  I have been married 26 years and have a 24 year old married daughter and a 22 year old son.  My son recently moved out (after moving back home last year) and our pregnant daughter along with her her husband, dogs, cats, fish and snake just moved in with us.  She is in nursing school and is having a complicated pregnancy so the only way they could make ends meet was for her to come back home.

I went to college after my son graduated high school and just received my BA in English.  I landed a great job at a community college and I am in the process of working towards my masters degree.  My husband was a high school teacher and coach for 15 years and just got his masters degree and now is an assistant principal. 

Life is good for the most part but I deal with the stress of my adult children (especially my daughter) taking advantage of me.  I have health issues and yet it seems that the kids are always asking more and more of me, and seldom do they give back in ways of helping. 

I joined this group to have a place to vent and see if others deal with the same issues as I do, especially now with my daughter at home.  I look forward to getting to know you all.

Tracy

by on Oct. 4, 2008 at 7:06 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
sacdp29
by on Oct. 5, 2008 at 2:06 AM

welcome to the group.  My name is Susan.  I have 2 children also.  My son is 24 years old and he finally moved out (after a couple of times of moving out, coming home, moving out, coming home...lol)  My daughter turned 20 years old in July of this year.  She had a baby in January of this year.  She lived at home until a couple of months after the baby was born and she decided that she didn't like our rules (like her baby's daddy wasn't allowed in our home - a whole other story) and she would complain and get mad.  She moved out and is now seeing what its like to be in the real world.  She's working, going to school and being a single mom.

I have alot of health issues too.  I told my daughter when she was pregnant that I was not going to be able to help her alot with the baby, because of my health, or to help with money.  She and I have had lots of disagreements over her not wanting to take motherly advice (forget that I've raised 2 children) and she is always wanting a babysitter (at last minute) and I explained to her that I am not going to not make plans because she doesn't want to plan ahead.  Man, I guess I needed to vent...LOL   I have had to tell her no many times.

The main thing that I would let your daughter and "family" (including animals)know is that as long as they are under your roof that you make the rules and if they can't live by them, they can find their own place.  If nothing else it might make them alittle nervous.

I'll be glad to talk with you some more if you would like.

 


          
   

nena4jeff
by on Oct. 5, 2008 at 11:00 AM

I also welcome you! This is a good place to "vent" and also get constructive feedback b/c like you we are in similar situations. I also have 2 children. A son Joshua who will be 26 Oct 13 and a daughter Sarah who was 23 in May. Both my kids live up North at this time( I'm in Fla) and have certainly had their moments that have cost their Dad and I time, money and grief and they continue to as well. So you have my ear any time my dear.  I agree with the "my house, my rules" philosophy and I urge you to stick to it....I've had to at times and it's worth it!

shake hand

Eileen

lckling
by on Oct. 5, 2008 at 2:09 PM

Welcome.  I'm curious why you would need to vent?  I have found peace and quiet now that my adult children are on there own.  i am very lucky to get our 18 month old granddaughter about once a week.

Lindsay

dapinkiiee
by on Oct. 6, 2008 at 11:34 AM

Thanks for the welcome and reply!

I have done experienced the same thing as you with both my children.  My son has moved in and out a couple times.  Recently he moved in with his girlfriend.  I am still up in the air on how I feel about that one.  She seems to be a nice girl, but doesn't understand family (we are a very close family and do things together all the time, she hasn't gotten the hang of "hanging out" with the family, lol).  She is a few years older than him, has a college degree, has a good job and seems settled, so I guess I shouldn't complain.

My daughter does seem more appreciative this time moving in with us.  The one who actually I have been really pleased with is her husband.  He has really stepped up and taken over chores and such.  It has been nice.  My daughter has fell back into to being the "kid" routine a bit, waiting to be told to do something at the most and just being lazy and not doing at the worst.  I hate to say anything because her husband will immediately jump to do it, but that is their marriage and I have learned to stay out of it.  I simply tell them what I expect and let them figure out who gets it done.

My biggest issue I have with her (them) living their is they have a tendency to take over and make my come last.  They take the best seats on the couch, they are the first to sit down and that table and they don't step in and help out when things need to be done.  It is an adjustment and I have to learn to set the rules from the start, I guess.  I can't just expect them to do the right thing because the truth is, they aren't going to do it.

Tracy

dapinkiiee
by on Oct. 6, 2008 at 11:38 AM

While it is wonderful that my children are grown, and sometimes on their own, I do find the need to vent from time to time.  For one thing, having my daugther (pregnant and married) living with us, while a wonderful blessing in many ways, can have its difficulties.  Also, despite the fact that I am lucky to have good kids, there are times where even the best of adult children can worry or frusterate parents.  It is nice to have a place to comfortably talk about these situations.

Tracy

nena4jeff
by on Oct. 6, 2008 at 6:54 PM


Quoting dapinkiiee:

While it is wonderful that my children are grown, and sometimes on their own, I do find the need to vent from time to time.  For one thing, having my daugther (pregnant and married) living with us, while a wonderful blessing in many ways, can have its difficulties.  Also, despite the fact that I am lucky to have good kids, there are times where even the best of adult children can worry or frusterate parents.  It is nice to have a place to comfortably talk about these situations.

Tracy

 That's why we are all here! It's a place to comfortably talk. When is your daughter's baby due!!

Eileen

dapinkiiee
by on Oct. 7, 2008 at 8:27 AM

thanks for the support!  She is due the last week of February or first week of March.  she has her ultrasound tomorrow so that will pinpoint it a bit more, they think.  She had medical complication where it was doubtful she would ever get pregnant, so isn't exactly certain when she got pregnant.  She is letting me to to the ultrasound with her and her husband so I am really excited.  But there will be no pink or blue announcement as she and her husband don't want to know the gender until the little one makes its appearance.

I am new to cafemom groups, but I am going to try to post a picture I took of them this past weekend, her "baby bump" is just starting to show.

nena4jeff
by on Oct. 7, 2008 at 4:19 PM

What a nice looking couple. He seems to be glowing as much as she is! Keep us posted.

Eileen

dapinkiiee
by on Oct. 8, 2008 at 7:55 AM

Thank you!  They have had a rough year, some tough times but they are both thrilled at the impending arrival of this baby!  He is one of those Dads that is excited as she is about everything.  I think he is going to be a really good father.

Today I am going with them for the ultrasound!  I am really excited, I just wish they wanted to find out the gender.  They are waiting until the birth.  It is my first grandchild, so I just want it to be healthy!

Quoting nena4jeff:

What a nice looking couple. He seems to be glowing as much as she is! Keep us posted.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)