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stepson won't get a job

Posted by on Sep. 30, 2009 at 12:01 PM
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 Hi, my name is Tori and I am new to the group. I joined this group because I really needed an outlet for my anger and fraustration with my 25 year old stepson who doesn't work  and continues to look to us to support him, girlfriend and 2 kids and 1 on the way. I am also very upset with my husband who continues to enable stepson.  Over the years he has bought stepson 3 cars, paid his car note and insurance, paid his rent, paid his utilities, paid girlfriend's car not when she didn't pay it and lent them money from time to time.  Stepson has not worked in over 2 years and as far as I can tell is not  really interested in looking. girlfriend has a part time minimum wage job. We will go for weeks and not hear from them or be able to reach them.  We never see the grandkids.Then we do hear from them it is because they need money because they didn't pay the water bill or electric and it got shut off. One time they called dh to ask him for money for gas' and diapers.  Now, girlfriend is pregnant for the 3rd time. what should be a joyful time is very upsetting. They can not care for themselves and the 2 they have much less a 3rd.

   we are not wealthy by any means and cannot continue to support ss and even if we could it really bothers me that stepson doesn't do anything to help himself.   We have 2 daughter's age 14 and 16 at home.  We also have my mother in law living with us (another story) .  my husband recenthly found out that he may have to take a pay cut. I have been looking for work. I've talked to husband about this and he always says "this wtill be the last time"  then stepson will call asking for something 'and husband will give it to him. It's causing major stress and strain on our finance' s, our marriage and even with our girls.  It's to the point that everytime husband is in a bad mood they ask "so, what's wrong with ss?"  We just can't continue this way!

     Tori

by on Sep. 30, 2009 at 12:01 PM
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JLynn0871
by on Sep. 30, 2009 at 1:14 PM

Hi and welcome to the group.  I am not on alot but I was reading during lunch!

After reading that, the problem is your husband pays for everything and always has.  Why shoudl the step son grow up and pay for his own things when his dad is paying for it all??  I mean, I would be staying home with no job either.  As long as you feed him, he will stay.

At25??  Sad because he will not know the value of a dollar for a long time.  Suffering and starving goes along with that.

He is going to have to "ween" him from the house.

I would be very upset.

 

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