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Rant

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:06 AM
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My husband's brother called yesterday and is coming to Oregon and wants a reference from my husband and me. He was here this last summer and is a LOSER (I'm not judgmental at all)!  He will be 47 years old this year and he is bringing is fiance or wife (He's referred to her as both & I don't know what their status is). So what's my problem? This girl supposedly just had her 19th birthday. He called my husband a week or two ago and told of his new 18 year old girlfriend who was living in a motel with him. He said she's great cuz she keeps it clean and does their grocery shopping.He said he had a job and life was great. This week is a different story.

The guy is a drug user, has two teenaged daughters himself and can't keep a job. While he was here last summer he ended up in the psych ward twice. If you looked up lazy in the dictionary you'd see his picture. What little money he did have he spent at strip clubs drinking and getting lap dances. He thought he's spend his last dollars on a stripper in a motel room before hitch hiking back to Illinois. YUCK! They just took his money and sent him on his way.

Anyway his phone call indicated that they just needed to get away from Illinois. I am thinking he's got this young girl who may not even be of legal age that he's gonna drag across the country and he'll strand her here. I don't want him staying with us. I have an almost 18 year old and I can't imagine them being with someone that much older. I wish I could find out if everything is at least legal between them and that she doesn't have a family who is worried about her. My gut tells me something is wrong.

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:06 AM
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Replies (1-10):
brettsmomma
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:16 AM

At some point you need to stop enabling his destructive behavior!! Not saying you are but I wouldn't allow that in my house!!

brettsmomma
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:17 AM

good luck!!!   <3


KittyGram
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:39 AM

I totally agree with the pp.  I'd put my foot down and refuse to let him in the house, and by no means would I write him a reference letter.  With or without the girl, he obviously needs help that you and your husband cannot provide.  

Ferne
by Silver sister on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:44 AM

I would definatly not allow them to stay at my house nor would I give any financial aide. Be sure he knows this before he shows up on your doorstep.  If they do move near you and you end up spending time with them, I would attempt to get the girl alone and ask her about her family. There is not much you can do if she is legal age and happy with her situation.

doodlepuss
by Sheri on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:47 AM

Whoa! That does sound like bad news. What does your husband say?  Is he ok with it?  I hope you can talk him into chasing that loser away.

koolmom343
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 11:32 AM

If she is 19 then there is nothing you can do, but I would not allow them to stay with you.  Sounds like he has some serious problems.

FlyHippie
by Bronze sister on Mar. 28, 2011 at 12:00 PM

um....just say no. nope. no way. Go with your gut.

cjcharlie1959
by Dungeon Queen on Mar. 28, 2011 at 12:16 PM

 I go with the gut and tell him don't bother.

AndrewsMomPDX
by Christine on Mar. 28, 2011 at 12:26 PM

Husband and I agree that they aren't staying here. If we meet the girl and it isn't legal we'll report him. Otherwise, I hope to establish some minimal relationship with her and let her know that while they are here if she needs anything to let me know. I wonder how desperate she must be to be hooked up with him.

KittyGram
by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 12:38 PM

 

Quoting AndrewsMomPDX:

Husband and I agree that they aren't staying here. If we meet the girl and it isn't legal we'll report him. Otherwise, I hope to establish some minimal relationship with her and let her know that while they are here if she needs anything to let me know. I wonder how desperate she must be to be hooked up with him.

Be careful about doing even that much.  If he's got the drug problem, it's likely she does, too.  Don't let yourself get sucked into the situation.

I agree with whomever said let him know now, before he leaves Illinois, that he does NOT have a place to stay nor a letter of reference. 

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