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I believe my oldest sister died 3 years ago today.

Posted by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:28 PM
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 My mom and dad were married in 1952 and when my father met my mother he was in the process of a divorce from his first wife.  That marriage produced a daughter.  This daughter lived with her mother for years until her early adulthood when she came to live with us and I was 2 or 3.  When my father found out that she was gay in the very early 70's, he disowned her and she was GONE forever.

When my father died in 1988, I asked my mother if maybe we should contact his oldest daughter to let her know that her father had passed away and that caused a WAR!!!  Trust me, my mom wasn't keen on this poor girl either!  I have no idea why there was such lingering anger all those years...I mean she was just gay!  No mortal sin IMHO!!  Anyway, I never persued the issue for fear of what it would do to my and my mother's relationship.

About 14 years ago when I moved into this house and we got a computer one of the first things I tried to do was find her.  I put her name into the and BOOM an address and phone number came up.  Instead of calling this woman I decided to write a letter.  I thought this was my safest option considering this woman may have been pissed about what my dad did to her if it was in fact her!  I had hopes but unfortunately I never got a response.

As the years passed I always wondered if she got the letter, read it and tore it up.  Was she afraid to contact me?  Was it even her?  Did she even get the letter?  Many questions all these years with no answers!

So I was just on facebook and something told me "put her name in the search!"  Well what came up SHOCKED the HE!! out of me!!  A photo came up of an older woman that is the SPITTING image of my father!  Unfortunately this woman passed away 3 years ago TODAY!  So I pulled up her wall and found the creater of the page and sent her a message.

Now I am sitting here asking myself why did I attempt to look for and find her today?  A part of me doesn't want it to be my sister so that would mean that I still have some hope of finding her.  But there is something telling me that this woman is indeed my sister and she is now gone forever!!

So if this woman is my oldest sister and if she is out there somewhere I just want to say to her "I am saddened that I never got the opportunity to find you and get to know you!  I hope you never blamed me for my father's actions because I was only 3.  I once saw a picture of me at 2 straddling the back of a young lady and I later found out that that young lady was you.  Looks like we were having loads of fun and I thank you!!  May you R.I.P. Sweet Big Sis!"

People need to understand that children with special needs are not sick. They are not searching for a cure, just acceptance.   Admin 40ish and Beyond.  Come Join us at 40ish and    Admin Marriage, Mental Health & Addictions.  Come join us at MMH&A.....

by on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:28 PM
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by Cruella Lives!! on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:36 PM

 I never ask why, I just try to learn from what is given to me. It is better that you know your sister has passed than to wonder for the rest of your life if she is not contacting you because of what your father did. What an interesting coincidence that it happened today, maybe because you posting on her memorial page on this day of all days, you are more likely to get a response back. People tend to not go to memorial pages unless it's for a bday or anniversary, so by you going today you may get some valuable info on who your sister was...sorry for your loss, but happy you will have some closure

by Maria - Midwest Lady on Mar. 28, 2011 at 10:39 PM

 AWW! Jeanne, I am 100% sure she doesn't blame you! Being gay back in those days was very hard. How do I know? 2 of my Uncleswere/are gay. One died of AIDS, the other is still alive and well. When we found out they were gay, it was like a nasty secret. But, truth be told, my Uncle Todd the one that died, was one of my favorite Uncles. You have every rhight to find out who created the FB page. If she is indeed gone, may she RIP.

by CakeChic on Mar. 29, 2011 at 12:33 PM

 Thanks sisters.

by 40ish Angel on Mar. 29, 2011 at 12:38 PM

 Awe........... Gave me the chill bumps. I sure hope it isnt her page though. I found my long lost step brother and sister on fb not to long ago. I hope your sister is out there somewhere safe and sound and that this is a different woman. Hope you hear something back so you can know for sure!! ((Hugs))

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