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Help!! I want to strangle my teen!

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Hi!  :)  I'm NEW!

My name is Jessie..I joined today after arough week with my 14 yr old son.   I am tired and frustrated.  I have no disciplinary support from  his father.  I have 4 kids. 3boys with my ex and a daughter  with my bf.  (Do we call them bf after 40??..lol)  

Jason is my oldest..a great kid..athlete,  very dedicated and an honors student.  This whole "no" response is new to me..its like going through the terrible 2s but they are taller and stronger!  Today I got so mad I threw my cell at him and now all I have is a broken phone!  LOL  

Anyone else frustrated or have any advice?

by on Jan. 31, 2012 at 3:36 PM
Replies (11-20):
ShanghaiTai
by on Jan. 31, 2012 at 8:39 PM
2 moms liked this

About the only advice I have is whatever you do, don't tell them they can't do something.  That will be the surest way to get them to do it.  I would say, I'm not going to tell you that you can't [go out drinking with your friends] because I know that you can.  But here's what might happen if you do:  and then I would proceed to politely scare the crap out of them.  I never had a problem with my kids drinking or doing drugs -- they are now 25 and 21.  (My only worry now is my baby wants to join the Army and go in the infantry!)

justjess1025
by New sister on Feb. 1, 2012 at 8:50 AM
2 moms liked this

Jason is back to  normal today..he told me he thinks he is bipolar.  I said its hormones, testosterone raging through his body..and stress of school, wrestling and life in general but still not acceptable.  I got a hug before school :)

cjcharlie1959
by Dungeon Queen on Feb. 1, 2012 at 9:19 AM
2 moms liked this

 Ok, Been there, done that~got the t-shirt.  Hit them where it hurts. 

Teenagers think they are all grown up and don't need their parents. So you take everything away from them.  I do mean EVERYTHING!! leave them with nothing but clothes and a bed. They have to earn everything back with your rules of behavior (consideration to other people and kindness). No TV, cell phone, video games, no going out with friends, no driving the car (license away).  

I did it with mine, and it isn't easy by a long shot.

peanuts1
by Sister on Feb. 2, 2012 at 2:24 PM
2 moms liked this

 I'm still listening to the word NO. Everyday, every minute whenever I ask of something it's always NO, NOT NOW, LATER. My daughter is 16 and it's very common.  I joined the MOMS WITH TEEN group. I've gotten some good advice from a lot of people.     I've never broken my cell on her but I broke my toe chasing her once.  Good luck.

MomofSCMJJA
by on Feb. 2, 2012 at 11:33 PM
2 moms liked this

Aren't they awful when they get to that age?  For the most part my kids are pretty good, but I have one who I swear just tells me no all the time just to see me go nuts.  He will usually end up doing what I ask in the end, but he seems to get a vicious pleasure out of making me work for it.  So I have started making him work for a new time card for his cell phone, a new WOW card, etc.  We'll see if it works.

Diamondg4u2cme
by on Feb. 2, 2012 at 11:36 PM
1 mom liked this

lock them up and throw away the key then take a trip to Hawaii. But, leave a loaf of bread and a jug of water.

Remember we are not cool and will never understand them. Maybe try and find someone who they like and can talk to, ie a favorite uncle or aunt, friend of the family, a teacher or coach. Dont take it personally, dont you remember being that age?

deemray33
by New sister on Feb. 2, 2012 at 11:41 PM
1 mom liked this

OMG !!! Thank you for posting this lol ABSOLUTELY , you are not the only one who is frustrated. I have a 14 year old who also is the same way you described yours ....a 14 year old who is going through the terrible 2's all over again but its the terrible 14's. My only advice is I try to let the simple things go, they say pick your battles but I also understand how hard that can be too. Hope things get better for you. Wish I had more advice to give. :o)

Denise M Ray

InMediasRes
by on Feb. 2, 2012 at 11:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I can totally relate to that!! My 18 year old was getting a little too big for his britches today, and it took a lot of willpower for me to choke down the overwhelming urge to toss his rear down the stairs! He's generally a good kid, but sometimes......aarrgghh!! 

Hang in there....if we can't come up with good advice, at least we can commiserate! lol!

opinionatedmom
by Gold sister on Feb. 3, 2012 at 12:29 AM

I have a very long rope do you want to borrow it. my biggest challenge was my youngest ss. oh he was murder he knew so much more than the adults. that is why he is ignoring you. you don't know jack and he knows better than you and to him you are just blah blah blah.  if you think 14 is fun wait till 18. lol not trying to scare you. I always let my ss think he knew more than me. then I let him fall on his face. so in my books the way I handled this was if you don't want to listen then you can just learn the hardway. like others said pick your battles make sure when he falls on his face it is the small battles. and then I would ask him so what are you going to do now. Now if he didn't want to clean his room both 16 and 14 yr old ss did this. My funny 19 yr old at the time would just make a comment "I wouldn't go there if I were you" but they would never listen. they would get what they want like go fishing with dad and not clean the room because they couldn't listen. so while they were fishing things dissappeared. a lot of things dissapeared and didn't show back up till they minded me. I told them to clean the house one night they said "you can't make me" oh were they wrong. I put all of their crap on their bed while they were getting their way and fishing. everything includes their trash and dishes and everything else. clothes dissapeared.  They come home tired from a hard night of fishing at 2 am and  had to clean their room for 2 hours just to go to sleep. so knew when I said yes it is ok they go fishing I was up to something. I only had to do this once and amazingly they started listening. but I am a very mean and cruel mom. was with all my kids. the reason my 19 yr old said "I wouldn't go there if I was you" was because he knew what was coming and would be sitting there snickering the whole time. oh and after 40 they are your so not your bf hehe.

WebCat
by on Feb. 3, 2012 at 6:35 AM
1 mom liked this

When you fight with a child you're not fighting about some issue, you're fighting about who's boss.

But teenagers are nearly adults and will respond if you give them the respect you would an adult. I don't mean treat them as an adult and let them do whatever they want but explain why you're objecting to something and then tell them 'no'. If they want to behave as an adult and make their own decision and it goes against your wishes then they will have to accept the consequences. You're boss. What do you think would happen if you worked at a place where the boss told you to do something and you didn't do it? You don't have to fight, argue or persuade. But the consquenses might be a bitch ;)

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