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He thinks I am wrong to demand that he stop texting his lover. Am I crazy?

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:57 PM
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My husband left me back in December. Within 6 days he had met, slept with and moved in with another woman. He left her two weeks ago and came home. I know he isn't seeing her behind my back, but he IS texting her for hours everyday.  He has been doing it in front of me up until today when I made the comment that if he was going to do it then he should do it behind my back.  He feels that means it's ok for him to go into the bathroom every few minutes to text her. I got pissed and bitched about it and he yelled back that it's not just about me and my life. He feels he has a right to his life too and I don't have a right to decide what he is going to do. I know he loves me, but I really believe he only came home because he had no other choice...he had lost his job, partyied away all his money, got evicted from the trailer he and his whore were sharing, and fighting with her to the point he couldn't stand her anymore.  Oh, and he owes 800.00 in court fees that have to be paid by this coming Friday or he goes to jail. I just got my rtax return this past week so he knows I can pay the fines for him, but it kinda pisses me off, because I had nothing to do with why he got into trouble.  I am really wondering if he is secretly planning with her to get back together after I pay off his fines.  I need my money for a divorce if he is not willing to work on the marriage.  I can't pay the fines and for a divorce. He knows this. He also knows if I file he will immediately be responsible for child support, his medical expenses, car insurance, his own rent, gas, etc., and he has no way to pay all that.  I just can't seem to get into his head.  Is it normal for a guy to think it is ok to talk to ex-lovers as long as they are not physically with them? Do I just suck it up and ignore this for a few more weeks?  if i do I will HAVE to pay his fines and will lose out on the divorce money.  I really feel deep down they WILL part eventually, but how far do I let them go? This is humiliating. He would NEVER allow me to speak to another man.  I brought this up to him and he told me that he understands that he is being a hypocrite but he doesn't care. Ok ladies, what should I do? I know that many of you will just say...leave the SOB.  That is EXACTLY what I would have said before this happened to me.  It is surreal.  We have been together/married for almost 14 years and have a 7 year old DD together.  HELP!  Feel free to ask your SO their take on it. I need to know if this is typical thinking for a man in his 30s or not. (Yes he is younger than me.)   

by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 8:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
clippingmom
by Sister on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:00 PM
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Kick his ass to the curb use your money for a divorce. let him go to jail. He is plain out right using you!!! you deserve WAY better!!! Good Luck

wenuck
by Wendy - Moonshine on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:04 PM
No,No and No!!! I would not care for my man to be texting his Ex!!! I agree with the upper post!! Be strong!
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dana63
by Momma of 40ish on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:13 PM
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Be strong and use your money for the divorce. He is using you for a place to live and money to pay his fine once it is paid he will be gone with the texting GF.
No one who is trying to work it out with someone will text another woman especially the woman he moved in with and then got evicted with. Sounds like to me he is using you.
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hau_siyoka
by Wanda - Indian Girl on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:49 PM

tell him to keep texting soon somebody Else, cuz soon they will take it away from him....at jail and block the number.... Your money is not worth it!!!!bad betting gets ya in trouble missy

mysty923
by Sister on Mar. 4, 2012 at 9:55 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with others

Get rid of him - it will cost you emotionally once and financially yes

BUt after this - no more - whereas if you keep him you can expect a repeat of this

Good luck

my2sweetjoys
by Kay on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:04 PM

 Sweetie I agree with my other Sissys on this.I think you are being used and it is time for him to face facts & get himself out of trouble or better yet, his texting buddy can pay his fines.It doesnt make sense to keep texting someone that you were with-what is the use in texting if you are not together?What are they talking about? My bet is talking about getting back together-

I am sorry you are going through this and your little one too.He needs to quit texting the ex and make it work with you that is if you will let him make it work, your choice and you deserve all the attention, not the ex.

Great big hugs-

jyou101
by Sister on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:37 PM

I have seen this happen to friends and family and they only went back to get what they needed than left again. After 14 years and a child I can see why you want to make it work , but  sometimes you have to think what am I teaching my child? and don't forget you deserve to be happy. My husbands first wife cheated on him and he told me when they keep talking to each other it is not over. Hope everything turns out for you ok stay strong !

redpatz
by on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:50 PM
Even if there's nothing sexual going on between them (there prolly is if he's texting her - sorry, Momma), the act if him texting her is disrespectful. He's not over her. She's not over him. They're playing games. U don't deserve to be played. *hugs* I pray all the best for u.
janomoma
by Menopause Queen on Mar. 4, 2012 at 10:51 PM
1 mom liked this

sweetie....tell him to text himself a cab...hit the road jack dont cha' come back no more....get some self respect ....file for divorce you can do it yourself...look up on line in your state and get some free advice....stay strong...people only do to you what you let them....

Angelica46
by Lil Princess on Mar. 4, 2012 at 11:02 PM
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Let him go to jail so he has time to think how he messed up. His GF can come bail him out. He is texting her because obviously they're still connected somehow but he is staying with you? How can he expect you to pay his fees when he is texting another woman right in front of you? That is wrong on so many levels. You are not crazy mama. You and your child deserve better. Do not let him use you sweetie. Not worth it. Hugs.

If it were me, I would kick him out of my house, out of my life....out, out, out!

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