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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

Teens and Drinking

Posted by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 7:33 AM
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Parents Actually Hold the Remedy For Underage Drinking

 

drinking beerOne of the things that scares me the most about being a parent is all the pressures my kids are going to face when they become teenagers. Seriously, peer pressure? Scary stuff. I was there once; I remember. Add a driver's license, a car, and some alcohol into that mix and it's a teen drinking scenario that no parent wants to imagine.

So often we talk about how we are going to have the "sex talk" but what about the "alcohol talk"? My mom had the alcohol talk with me many times when I was younger. Yes, it often was followed with "See how your relatives get when they drink too much? Don't be like that." And I understood exactly what she meant. And never wanted to be like that.

Not all my relatives, of course. Just the ones with the drinking problem. So of course since I grew up around people who were alcoholics, it's a topic -- a potential situation -- that is often on my mind. Not my kids, I think. This cannot happen to my kids.

Wanting something not to happen though doesn't always make it not happen. And with drinking and getting drunk a rite of passage for teenagers, it's hard to stop. But it's been proven that having that talk with your kid helps. The Century Council, a national not-for-profit dedicated to fighting drunk driving and underage drinking, reports that 83 percent of kids says their parents are the biggest influencers on them to not drink alcohol. And that number is up 28 percent from when the stat was last released in 2003. How great is that!?

So even though our kids may roll their eyes when we want to talk about serious stuff, they are listening to us. The rest of the study revealed that 33 percent listen to friends/teachers, fear of punishment makes up for 28 percent, sibling influence comes in at 24 percent, and concern about breaking the law is 23 percent.

The big question is how do we talk about alcohol with them. Good conversation starters are when there is something in the news to jump off of and turn it into a learning. Or there could be something on TV or in a movie that brings up the topic of drinking. Of course if someone your child knows gets caught with alcohol, seize the moment to start the talk.

Have you had the alcohol talk with your kids yet? Any tips to share?

by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 7:33 AM
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Replies (1-9):
suzi960
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 7:55 AM
No not yet .had the sex talk with bobby ,hes 12 and the oldest. That's next though..
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jess225
by Bronze sister on Apr. 10, 2012 at 8:29 AM

 My DS is 17 and yes this scares the crap out of me because my side of the family and DH's side are all big social drinkers.  So I have had the drinking talk with my son more times than I can count. 
Sadly he has come home a couple times and I could tell he had been drinking...he doesn't deny it and says yes mom I had a few beers. 
Of course now every time he leaves the house I give him the drinking lecture. 
DS is a good kid, always home when told, calls me while he is out to let me know where he is, good grades, work, and works part time. 
We have good communication and what scares me is the stories he tells me about no matter where they go there is ALWAYS alcohol, pot, and other drugs.
Even though he has promised he will NEVER drink again I can't help but worrying:( 
Glad you posted this b/c I have been so stressed out lately.  I just hope and pray all the talks his dad & I have had with him will help him to make good choices.

LFosterfarm
by on Apr. 10, 2012 at 8:37 AM

 the oldest ones come from another blood line so to speak, previous marriage, and that whole family drinks.  I never ever condoned underage drinking, and the oldest 2 did it anyway.  my oldest son even got a DWI, permanently on his record now.  the rest we seem to have a chance with, even with the others would come over or what ever, I never let anyone underage drink in my house, period!!!  caused many an argument around here.

Jodi_A
by Sister on Apr. 10, 2012 at 8:40 AM

Jessica is only 11, but I've been talking to her about drinking all her life.  My dad was an alcoholic (brain cancer sobered him up and killed him) and Jessica's dad's mom is a recovering alcoholic.  So, it's in her genes.  I don't drink, Hubby doesn't drink, so Jessica doesn't see it happening.  Her BFF's mom drank before she went to treatment, so Jessica has seen what drinking can do to people.  I just hope that she understands how she's already at risk to have a problem with it...and doesn't do anything stupid.

shelllby
by on Jun. 30, 2012 at 2:42 PM

my teen says  its a normal thing to drink ?not everday

firelites
by Anne on Jun. 30, 2012 at 3:25 PM

if you drive, don't drink, if you drink don't drive, if you drive and start drinking, Call Me! I would rather pick you at the party than the police station, hospital or morgue

it's more fun to be a designated driver,you go out have just as much fun, get your friends home safe and then you can do it again next time

dana63
by Momma of 40ish on Jun. 30, 2012 at 4:30 PM
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 I wont say my method will work for everyone but it not only worked for my kids but it worked for my mom with me and my brother..

We told our kids if they have to drink it will be at home and they will NOT be allowed to leave the house.. My kids said it was unfair because we gave them permission and who wants to do something when they know its ok.. My oldest DD didn't drink until she left my house and after she was 18 and out of my care but never drank and drive...

Funny story... My son ( Kevin) found some Boones Farm Lemonade wine in our fridge. It was given to us and it was in the fridge for awhile... My son didn't see the wine part but saw lemonade ( he loves it) and so he open it and yes you guessed it drank it.. He was about 17 and said Momma that lemonade in the fridge tasted weird so after a cup I poured it out. LMAO!! Poor guy he said that cured him from ever drinking again....

LACHESIS
by Rachel in AZ on Jun. 30, 2012 at 6:14 PM

I did this with my oldest. If you ARE going to drink (I am not stupid), I am not going to rag on you, but please do it at home (if AT a friend's house (which almost never happened either at home or a friends), please stay the night or call us!), and be responsible. You don't have to get drunk to have fun/feel good.

I have had too many friends die from drinking and driving. TOO many. :( I have told him since he was young (he didn't have friends, due to serious social anxiety), if and when the time came, we would always, always pick him up, no questions asked.

He truly never drank much, doesn't drink any more than he did, now that he is 21. I am very dissapointed he started smoking. :( After seeing what it has done to people, what it can do, how much it cost, ect... and he still took up smoking.

From a young age (before he could fully understand), we would see people pulled over, and I'd say "he was drinking, and smoking, not wearing a seatbelt, hanging out the window (everything you could imagine LOL). And now see, his car is broke (or worse, the cop pulled over to help him LOL). Use "examples".

I suspect Aiden will be just like Joey. Lydia... she is going to be tougher.

Quoting dana63:

 I wont say my method will work for everyone but it not only worked for my kids but it worked for my mom with me and my brother..

We told our kids if they have to drink it will be at home and they will NOT be allowed to leave the house.. My kids said it was unfair because we gave them permission and who wants to do something when they know its ok.. My oldest DD didn't drink until she left my house and after she was 18 and out of my care but never drank and drive...

rosebud727
by Mac Goddess on Jun. 30, 2012 at 9:51 PM

I had the talk with both daughters ending with if you decide to drink or you get in a situation where you had something and you drove there please, please do not drive home. Call me, I will come and get you. NO HASSLE, no bitching, because I want you to come home safe.

Now both my girls have gone off to college. I know they are doing some drinking, however the rule still applies. CALL someone or don't go anywhere. Be smart, watch your surroundings. 

My older daughter also talked with her sister before she went off to college and basically said the same thing. Be smart about it. Don't let yourself get in a situation that is compromised or worse.

I have one more thought to share. The youngest daughter came back to the dorm after a birthday night of celebration. She was buzzed but not drunk. The RA saw the girls, asked if they had been drinking and gave them a warning. It FREAKED out my younger daughter. She thought she was going to get kicked out of school for underage drinking. Her sister says to me, Mom, she waited till her birthday, nobody waits that long to test those waters! Her birthday was in April. She told her yeah, you got a warning. So think about it. They are not going to kick you out for one warning but they'll be watching you. Then a picture of my youngest was posted on FB with a drink in her hand. I saw it, her sister saw it. I said nothing because I knew her sister would. She again told her, hey...other people also watch those pages. It could be the picture that costs you a job etc. Don't post that kind of stuff on your pages. 

I couldn't of said it better myself. Big sisters and brothers, gotta love them!

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