Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

My sister is getting married today and I am jealous!

Posted by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:59 AM
  • 31 Replies
  • 576 Total Views

Trust me! I am not jealous of her getting married. And, I think jealous is to strong of a word. But, I am a little put out. She has asked everyone to help her out in some way, except my family!

Now the problem with this is my sister and I have been basically inseparable for the last 10 years. We go camping together. We have holidays together. We just hang out together.

But, I am seeing pictures of all the things (on facebook) that people have been doing to help her, and I ask what she needs done, and I get told that everyone else is doing the things she needs done. I told her it hurts my feelings and she says she did not ask me to do anything on purpose. It just happened. We had this conversation, and then the bunches of people she invited to help decorate all posted pictures of the reception hall. That they just decorated last night. I talked to her about a week ago.


I am going to wedding and the reception. I will stay for a short time, and then cut out. I don't want to be there if I am that unwanted!

Oh and I don't know if it has anything to do with me or not, but, the day after I had the conversation with her, she posted on my other sisters facebook. It said "You are my favorite now! LOL" So, it seems she was mocking me.

by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 9:59 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
LFosterfarm
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:03 AM

 I don't even have any words of wisdom.  family can be so cruel and cut us to the quick!  all I can suggest is go and play it by ear, maybe there's a reason for all this and you'll find out during all this.  if nothing happens and it turns out she's acting like a spoiled brat, you should probly at least tell her how you feel, no sence you keeping it all bottled up inside.  hang in there girl!

connietrrll
by Silver sister on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:10 AM

I did! We usually talk about everything. I was the first one that new about her, then boyfriend, and I was the first to hear she was engaged. So, I think it will be a short stay at the reception!


Quoting LFosterfarm:

 I don't even have any words of wisdom.  family can be so cruel and cut us to the quick!  all I can suggest is go and play it by ear, maybe there's a reason for all this and you'll find out during all this.  if nothing happens and it turns out she's acting like a spoiled brat, you should probly at least tell her how you feel, no sence you keeping it all bottled up inside.  hang in there girl!


kokyuhomama
by Bronze sister on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:12 AM

So sorry that this is happening for you.  I don't have sisters, but friends of mine who do have sisters have lots of interesting dynamics in which my friends are  confronted by strange, unexplained changes in their sisters' characters and/or behaviors.  The big questions seem to be "why would she do that?" or "why would she say that?"  Of course, I have a brother and have found myself asking the same questions.  Usually it involves him wanting full control over a situation, even if it means that he will lie to me.  People can be inconsistend and catty at times, and it never feels good to be on the receiving end.  All you can do is go with the flow and hopefully it will iron itself out someday.  Hugs to you.

LFosterfarm
by on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:17 AM

 I have a feeling something is up I just don't know what it is or if it's good or bad.  let us know how it goes afterwards. you know we are here for you and I"m sorry, this was supposed to be a happy moment for you as well.

Quoting connietrrll:

I did! We usually talk about everything. I was the first one that new about her, then boyfriend, and I was the first to hear she was engaged. So, I think it will be a short stay at the reception!


Quoting LFosterfarm:

 I don't even have any words of wisdom.  family can be so cruel and cut us to the quick!  all I can suggest is go and play it by ear, maybe there's a reason for all this and you'll find out during all this.  if nothing happens and it turns out she's acting like a spoiled brat, you should probly at least tell her how you feel, no sence you keeping it all bottled up inside.  hang in there girl!


 

connietrrll
by Silver sister on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:22 AM

I won't soon forget it. I don't forget things like this. The funny thing is, people were asking me what is happening, through out the week, assuming I would know. When I say I am just a guest at the wedding they are all surprised!

Quoting kokyuhomama:

So sorry that this is happening for you.  I don't have sisters, but friends of mine who do have sisters have lots of interesting dynamics in which my friends are  confronted by strange, unexplained changes in their sisters' characters and/or behaviors.  The big questions seem to be "why would she do that?" or "why would she say that?"  Of course, I have a brother and have found myself asking the same questions.  Usually it involves him wanting full control over a situation, even if it means that he will lie to me.  People can be inconsistend and catty at times, and it never feels good to be on the receiving end.  All you can do is go with the flow and hopefully it will iron itself out someday.  Hugs to you.


connietrrll
by Silver sister on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:27 AM

At least I have my group of sisters on the 40 something group. They never let me down!

I was so happy when she found this guy! He is a great guy. He loves kids (she is a foster mom of 7 kids) oh and mother of 2 bios, and 3 adopted fosters, and grandmother of 2! He is very motivated. He is a very calm person, and she needs that. He likes being home! He is the perfect fit for her.


Quoting LFosterfarm:

 I have a feeling something is up I just don't know what it is or if it's good or bad.  let us know how it goes afterwards. you know we are here for you and I"m sorry, this was supposed to be a happy moment for you as well.

Quoting connietrrll:

I did! We usually talk about everything. I was the first one that new about her, then boyfriend, and I was the first to hear she was engaged. So, I think it will be a short stay at the reception!


Quoting LFosterfarm:

 I don't even have any words of wisdom.  family can be so cruel and cut us to the quick!  all I can suggest is go and play it by ear, maybe there's a reason for all this and you'll find out during all this.  if nothing happens and it turns out she's acting like a spoiled brat, you should probly at least tell her how you feel, no sence you keeping it all bottled up inside.  hang in there girl!


 


shadenn766
by Platinum sister on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:52 AM

try not to feel "put out", jealous or disappointed by the way she has chosen to handle the planning of her wedding...maybe she's asking for help from everyone except you or others that are closer to her, because she may not want to put you all to "work"

she may want it to be a relaxed event  for those close to her and wants you all to enjoy the ceremony without any wedding planning stress and anxiety... seeing that days leading up to a wedding can become a bit of a headache...

so look at it from a happy angle...enjoy the wedding and especially enjoy your sister

lucky2Beeme
by Silver sister on Apr. 29, 2012 at 10:52 AM
2 moms liked this

 I think you are over thinking this. You know how it is. You are talking about your wedding and what you need done and people just offer. so you say sure and thank them. This day isnt about you(I am not saying this is a mean way). It is her day and just because she didnt include in her plans should not upset you.  Go and enjoy your self and be supportive of her by being there. Do not "cut out early" that will cause shit later.   Stay off FB.you are taking this way to personally IMHO.


shadenn766
by Platinum sister on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:00 AM
2 moms liked this

 i agree...

Quoting lucky2Beeme:

 I think you are over thinking this. You know how it is. You are talking about your wedding and what you need done and people just offer. so you say sure and thank them. This day isnt about you(I am not saying this is a mean way). It is her day and just because she didnt include in her plans should not upset you.  Go and enjoy your self and be supportive of her by being there. Do not "cut out early" that will cause shit later.   Stay off FB.you are taking this way to personally IMHO.


 

connietrrll
by Silver sister on Apr. 29, 2012 at 11:04 AM

There are 7 of us 6 sisters and 1 brother. My brother will not be attending the wedding (another issue of his own, with another family member). My youngest sister is singing in the wedding, she is the only one that could do that. My 2 other sisters helped her decorate, they all went and got their nails done together, and have helped her pick out the dresses, One sister lives to far away, and will be here for the wedding, but is not involved other wise. That leaves me! I get calls from people asking what is going on, and have no answer. I tell them to please call one of the other sisters.

My husband was supposed to cook the food, but she decided last minute to have my cousin do it. My kids are not in the wedding. My daughter refers to her as her second mom, and she refers to my daughter as her 3rd daughter. But, my nephews that are never around her are in it. She wanted equal bridesmaids, and groomsmen, but couldn't think of anyone to match up with the groomsmen. So she is having 1 less bridesmaid. My daughter is totally hurt by that, and has said that! Trust me we don't hide our feelings!

My youngest son was supposed to be in the wedding, but she never called me for the tux fitting. I called her the day she said they were going, and she said we decided not to use him!

So, yes! I am hurt!

Quoting shadenn766:

try not to feel "put out", jealous or disappointed by the way she has chosen to handle the planning of her wedding...maybe she's asking for help from everyone except you or others that are closer to her, because she may not want to put you all to "work"

she may want it to be a relaxed event  for those close to her and wants you all to enjoy the ceremony without any wedding planning stress and anxiety... seeing that days leading up to a wedding can become a bit of a headache...

so look at it from a happy angle...enjoy the wedding and especially enjoy your sister


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)