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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

So how do I start over at 47?

Posted by on May. 3, 2012 at 7:10 PM
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Ok. We are officially over after almost 14 years.  How do I start over at 47? Where the hell do I go to start over at 47? What the hell kinda fu**ed up wife was I that I NEED to be starting over at 47? Will I find love again? Will I ever get horny again? Can I ever deal with another man touching me?  Will I ever be kissed again? Am I even a turn on to any man under 70 at my age?  I don't have much to offer. I do have an education but I have 2 children under 18, one is only 8, and I have a HORRIBLE credit score and a going to be ex husband who is a total assh**e and will do all he can to wreck my life. I have no friends really. I am not kidding. I have no friends. I am very introverted. He was the extrovert. All our friends were his and have gone over to "his side."  Any ideas? 

by on May. 3, 2012 at 7:10 PM
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Replies (1-10):
notuseless
by on May. 3, 2012 at 7:23 PM
4 moms liked this

Ok look you are beautiful, you are smart, you know what you want, kids are like puppy's until they are teens, there are a lot of men who cant have kids but want them, and alot of single men in their 30s, 40s, and 50s, you just have to love yourself become your own woman be out there, don't settle for a man get the one you can see yourself growing old beside.

now for the credit, go to your bank and ask for a credit card, only use the card once a month for gas or something worth between $20-$60 and pay the card off before you use it again, that way the card is active every month and you are making a payment every month, and its affordable

VTHaven
by on May. 3, 2012 at 7:50 PM
6 moms liked this

 First off honey...take a deep breath. I'm sorry you are in a rough place right now , but you all WILL be okay. Sounds like you may have been trying for too long to be the "fixer" in this marriage and when it faultered...you now feel like you have failed. I will tell you hon...one person doesn't cause a marriage to fall apart. I wish you lots of luck...and if you ever just need to vent/cry/scream....we are here to listen.  

dobrd
by Silver sister on May. 3, 2012 at 8:14 PM
2 moms liked this

sciteacher, Everyone in this group will have you up/about in no time Honey.. Many of us have 'Been there Done that''.. It's scary, yes, but, not as bad as you must be feeling.. He's a jerk.. Most all the questions you asked?? Things will happen again for you again down the road.. You need to know who the hell you are all over again.. You'll also be looking inside of yourself as why you didn't do this sooner.. I mean you'll see the yrs. you wasted on someone who isn't worthy of you.. He may be outgoing but, I think he's more of a bullshitter... Please get a lawyer for you. If they are all on his side then, I'd feel, he can keep them all then.. You have no use for them anyway.. You need/will get your own down the road.. If you can, go to/call a womens shelter for when their meetings are.. These women end up very close to each other plus, they go places, car pool, hang out.. I want to know how you are.. Prayers Honey.. You'll be just fine.. Go get your new life.. You can do this.. Most of us here did.. You can too.. Take Care, Donna....

Tikismom
by sister of the year on May. 3, 2012 at 8:23 PM
1 mom liked this

 

     Get that chin up !!!!!! You are going to be fine and we are here to help you do just that.The sisters are great at giving each other a shoulder to lean on,cry on,or whatever is needed.

RoseWall
by RoseWall on May. 3, 2012 at 8:25 PM

hugs. you can do this. and you will. more hugs

AndrewsMomPDX
by Christine on May. 3, 2012 at 8:35 PM
1 mom liked this

I am so sorry, and your fears are valid, but you will overcome them. First of all, with two kids under 18 you don't need anyone else. They will love you unconditionally. I suggest you go to your local employment office and talk to someone about what programs they might have available to you to get updated training. My state has a displaced homemakers program that helps women get back into the workforce. I believe there are also programs to help you get a clean start with renting. I also suggest you get a shark for an attorney and you look after you and your kids' interests so that everything is in black and white in your divorce and you both know what to expect. If your dh is an ass now, he's likely to get worse later. Decide what you think is reasonable for your future and don't back down. Hugs and remember we're here to commiserate with and give you some humor.

Tracylynn100
by Sister on May. 3, 2012 at 10:06 PM
Because you are starting over does not mean you were a bad wife, maybe bad choice of husband :-) if he is a jerk who would try to wreak your life he is not worth having, you might be surprised how much happier you will be
javamom12
by Bronze sister on May. 3, 2012 at 10:13 PM

It's never too late to start over. Just have a little faith in yourself and block out all the troubles you had in the past. Just concentrate on how great the future will be for you.

starlight1968
by 40ish hang out queen on May. 3, 2012 at 10:55 PM

 Just think of this as a new/clean slate.  Ever want to do something that he wouldn't let you do?? DO IT!! 

We are here for you!!  vent scream cry laugh...do it all!!

happygolucky106
by Wild Black Stallion on May. 4, 2012 at 12:19 AM

 Well lets see, I,m 46 now,married for 26 years and almost 4 months, I,m on my way to a divorce,my son needs to finish school..I already have a place to buy and someone to share the rest of my life with,,,thanks to all my wonderful sissys here,they were ALL here for me when it finally crumbled..You will find that special someone,dont give up,,all of us sissys will help you to help yourself,and believe me it works.Put your chin up my friend,you CAN DO IT!!!!!!!

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