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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

Suggestion on how to make friends

Posted by on May. 6, 2012 at 10:22 PM
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Hi - I'm new with this forum and I love it here!

I am 41 and I have lived in the same neighborhood for 20 years. I have a couple of friends. One lives very far away in another state and another one is a childhood friend I have just connected with again but we don't have a lot in common. The neighborhood I live in is not a very good one and a lot of ppl around me drink and I don't like that - I mean they drink a lot.

Do you have any ideas on how I can make new friends at this stage in my life? I thought about joining church but think that's kind of a crappy reason to join! haha. I don't go to bars, etc. I'm kind of lost. I have tried making friends with a couple of my son's Mom's but they are either jack wagons or we just don't have anything in common.

Any help would be great!

by on May. 6, 2012 at 10:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MissTLC
by on May. 6, 2012 at 10:31 PM

 Well, what about a common interest group?  For instance, if you do scrapbooking you could find a scrapbooking group and start there.

MissTLC
by on May. 6, 2012 at 10:32 PM

 By the way, WELCOME!!!

AndrewsMomPDX
by Christine on May. 6, 2012 at 10:38 PM

I found friends in groups I joined, where I had common interests with other members.

wenuck
by Moonshine on May. 6, 2012 at 10:41 PM
Welcome!! How about a gym?
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rosebud727
by Mac Goddess on May. 6, 2012 at 10:57 PM

Welcome to 40ish. Making friends, it is a life long process of ebs and tides. I agree with some of the others join something that your interested in, whether its a fitness gym, taking classes or even a church as you suggested. Believe it or not a lot of people go to church for that reason.

NYGiantsFan
by Sugarplum on May. 6, 2012 at 11:05 PM

I'd suggest taking an adult ed class at a local community college, or else through your town's park & rec division. I've taken a photography class, spanish class and an art course. It's hard saying to someone "Wanna be friends?" but if you go to a class or a gym (as someone else suggested) and you see the same person over and over, and make pleasant conversation, you can always ask them if they'd like to meet up sometime for coffee at a nearby Starbucks (or other little cafe).

vale131
by on May. 7, 2012 at 12:20 AM

Thanks for the replies!

I am already a member of the ymca. Only problem there is that my son goes with me and he is not comfortable enough yet to do stuff on his own so he's my work out buddy...sigh - not a bad thing, but I still crave adults sometimes.

I may take a class somewhere soon. That does sound like fun and a good idea.

I dont mind at all making friends on the internet. That's how I got the one I have in another state now - I talk to her everyday but I would like a girlfriend = to hang out with locally to go shopping, movie, thrift storing, etc.


Thanks!

sahlady
by It's a jen.thing :) on May. 7, 2012 at 12:22 AM

20 years in the same nieborhood and not ONE friend???? seriously???

Call someone up and say "hey lets go for a hike/walk/tea/movie/etc."  I find it next to impossible that you have lived in ONE place for TWENTY years and can not make a friend.  Really????

I moved EVERY THREE years as a kid and made friends EVERY time I moved.  I have lived in 8 homes in the last 25 years and have had friends EVERY place I have lived.  They will not just come knock on your door you have to go out and start the conversation /interaction /friendship.

Pick up the phone and call someone to do something.  Friends are not made over night but if you put your self out there and interact... acquaintances BECOME friends.

VTHaven
by on May. 7, 2012 at 5:59 AM
2 moms liked this

 Jen...I think it's highly possible to live in one place a long time and not have a lot of "friends." I've lived here (not the same town but the same general area) my entire life and really can only count what I would call "friends" on one hand. I know LOTS of people and I talk to LOTS of people, but not all of them I would count as "friends." Maybe we all have a different understanding what that term means? For myself... I'm outgoing and put myself out there, but making friends is not really as easy for some as others. I'm not the sort ot pick up the phone and say, "Hey...lets to go to lunch." If we are talking and it comes up...then yeah, I'd do it...but not just to pick up the phone out of the blue. Only a few times have I met someone who I've really connected with that I would like to invite for lunch or hang out with...maybe I'm just too picky.

Quoting sahlady:

20 years in the same nieborhood and not ONE friend???? seriously???

Call someone up and say "hey lets go for a hike/walk/tea/movie/etc."  I find it next to impossible that you have lived in ONE place for TWENTY years and can not make a friend.  Really????

I moved EVERY THREE years as a kid and made friends EVERY time I moved.  I have lived in 8 homes in the last 25 years and have had friends EVERY place I have lived.  They will not just come knock on your door you have to go out and start the conversation /interaction /friendship.

Pick up the phone and call someone to do something.  Friends are not made over night but if you put your self out there and interact... acquaintances BECOME friends.

 

LFosterfarm
by on May. 7, 2012 at 6:06 AM
1 mom liked this

 welcome!  I'm sure you'll find friend here, but I know that's not the same.  maybe joining something like a book club, or taking a class for something specific.  getting out always helps.  it's never to late to make friends!

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