Many years ago there was a popular writer who wrote under the pen name of "Dear Abby".....Lets play DEAR MATTY for some silly and funny responses!!!! Let's try and keep it going to 100 responses that would be 200 all together!!!!! Put on those thinking caps and play!!!!!
PLEASE REMEMBER....THIS IS ALL FOR FUN AND ENTERTAINMENT.....
1) I AM 'DEAR MATTY'......YOU are the person writting to me.....
I will give my answers in the QUOTE FORMAT that way everyone knows who I'm speaking too lol
2) Make the questions fun and entertaining....NO BASHING 
3) Lets have a blast and rack up some points to your RANK!!!
DEAR MATTY,,,,,,
Deat Moon Child.....Don't bend over in front of him! ....Matty
Quoting luvsherboyz:
Dear Matty,
I told my fiance that when we get married, we'll have sex once in a blue moon. He was wondering how many times that would be in a years time. I'm not sure what to tell him. Please help!
Sincerely,
Moon Child
Quoting hau_siyoka:Deat Moon Child.....Don't bend over in front of him! ....Matty
Quoting luvsherboyz:
Dear Matty,
I told my fiance that when we get married, we'll have sex once in a blue moon. He was wondering how many times that would be in a years time. I'm not sure what to tell him. Please help!
Sincerely,
Moon Child
Dear confused.....Batteries????.....Matty
Quoting luvsherboyz:
Dear Matty,
Some one told me: don't start any and there won't be any. I've had plenty of "any" without starting it. Am I missing something?
Signed... confused
Dear cupcake queen......Stop baking!.....Matty
Quoting LFosterfarm:
dear Matty,
I have an insatiable appetite for cupcakes, what could be wrong with me?
signed, cupcake queen!
Dear Animal Love....Tell your boyfriend to eat out more frequently and you can save the gas driving to the zoo! Get over it lol......Matty
Quoting luvsherboyz:
Dear Matty,
My boyfriend and I were at the zoo a couple of months ago. I was mesmerized by the giraffes. Giraffes aren't my favorite zoo animal, and he kept asking me what was so intriguing about them. All I could say was "just look at their tongues". He immediately got in a bad mood and soon after we left the zoo because he was in such a huff. I don't understand what I did wrong or what was wrong with the giraffes. He refuses to go to the zoo again. Can you help me figure this out?
Signed, Animal lover
Dear Thoroughly satisfied....only if you grab his ears! .....Matty
Quoting crazymom729: i
Dear Matty,
My dh has a 6" tongue and can breathe through his ears. Is this a bad thing.
Signed,
Thoroughly satisfied
Dear Matty,
Is it illegal to keep my teenage son in the backyard, if I provide him with a tent (shelter), and leave him picnic baskets (food), and he has full access to the hose and the swimming pool (hygiene)?
Dear DIL..... This is a tough one but you need to act right away....Ask your husband to ask his mother's company to leave....He might see it your way in the end!!!!...Matty
Quoting goochie:
Dear Matty:
My mother in law came to stay with us for a few weeks while her house is being renovated. She brought all but the kitchen sink with her and I have no room for all her possessions. Yesterday, I was on my way to the basement to get to a box of old baby clothes to give to a friend of ours who is in need. As I started down the stairs I heard moaning coming from the basement, I hesitated a bit but the moaning got louder and louder. I walked down the stairs to see my mother in law with legs up high stark naked and masturbating with a huge dildo , and a blow up doll! I could not turn around fast enough before she said Mary, whats wrong? I slowly turned around to see that around the other corner she had not one but 5 blow ups standing up against the wall and I said What the hell do you think your doing? She answered, I'm entertaining! Would you like to join us? Needless to say I ran up the stairs faster than I thought I ever could run. Should I tell my husband about his mothers entertaining tactics or should I let him go down to the basement and see for himself?
A most embarresed daughter in law
Dear Worried in Texaco....Mom thought she knew everything....You can only get gas at the Texaco anyway!.....Matty
Quoting dana63:
Dear Matty,
I had to go to the bathrom and used a public restroom. Could it be possible that I am pregnant? I was told by my mom when I was a young girl never use a public restroom as this could happen.
Worried in Texaco
Tornado Emergency Kit/Preparedness
Is it ok to kill the first?
- hau_siyoka
on May. 8, 2012 at 6:11 PM