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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

My 18 year old daughter came home from work today and said her boyfriend of 15 months broke up with her.  It was her first boyfriend and she was head over heals for him.  She is heart broken but doesn't want to talk yet.  She's at the "get everything that reminds me of him away from me" stage.  She went to spend the night with her grandma's house. 

Any advice on what I can do to help her through this?  Or things I definitely shouldn't do?

by on May. 26, 2012 at 9:42 PM
Replies (11-20):
kryptomom
by Bronze sister on May. 27, 2012 at 1:03 AM

All the "stuff" is placed safely in my closet.  Thanks.

She is an intelligent young lady and doesn't often share her feelings.  If she confides in me, I know she's feeling deeply. 

Quoting starlight1968:

 what ever she does do NOT let her destroy or throw out anything to do with him.  Have her put it all in a box and put it in your closet or somewhere out of sight.  Then some time way later when she's ready she may want to look through it all and decide what to do with it when she's over it/clear minded.

Listen to her/don't discount anything she says but help her to see it all clearly so she won't have any "issues" with it later... and HUGS!


kryptomom
by Bronze sister on May. 27, 2012 at 1:05 AM

No judging here.  I know she's hurting.  I'll let her take her own time.

Thanks for the advice.

Quoting LFosterfarm:

Open arms, let her come to you, but do remind her you are there for her, be reasuring, a box of tissue, and what ever comes out of her mouth right now dont judge her. And good luck to both of you.


VTHaven
by on May. 27, 2012 at 6:55 AM

 No advice because thankfully I've never had to deal with this sort of thing (yet) but sounds like some good advice given. ((hugs)) to your dd...and you too Momma. You are in for a bit of a rocky time in the next few days./weeks.

LFosterfarm
by on May. 27, 2012 at 8:32 AM
Quoting kryptomom:




I think this is one of the tougher ages, still a kid really but now legally an adult, trying to develope indipendance but cant quit let go, hugs to both of mom!

redlady125
by Silver sister on May. 27, 2012 at 9:46 AM
1 mom liked this

IM SORRY TO HEAR THIS,BUT WHEN SHE IS READY TO TALK SHE WILL ,TRY TO REMEMBER WHEN U WAS HER AGE AND HOW DID U FEEL WHEN U BROKE UP WITH A GUY THAT U WAS HEAD OVER HEELS FOR,ALL I CAN SAY IS JUST BE THERE FOR HER AND SHE WILL TALK .hugs

kryptomom
by Bronze sister on May. 27, 2012 at 11:35 PM

Thanks to everyone.  Good advice.

She's starting to talk a little.  As I've aged (and matured) I've learned to just listen.  I don't have to fix everything.  I know she'll get through it.  I just have to let her know she's not alone.

smile357
by Linda on May. 28, 2012 at 7:51 AM

I totally agree, it's a real sensitive age.

Quoting LFosterfarm:

Quoting kryptomom:




I think this is one of the tougher ages, still a kid really but now legally an adult, trying to develope indipendance but cant quit let go, hugs to both of mom!


Mariedchk
by on May. 28, 2012 at 7:53 AM
1 mom liked this
Poor girl! Been there, done that. I would say let her talk, cry about it to you, get it all out! . Try not to bad talk on the X, he may come back and she will remember your words.
LLICE
by on May. 29, 2012 at 5:49 AM
Hug her, telling her how sorry you are she is hurting & that you are there if she needs you (even if only for a hug.)
kryptomom
by Bronze sister on May. 29, 2012 at 8:13 AM

Yeah.  She found out the little piss ant cheated on her before they broke up.  I will let my frustrations out on my husband but will not mention my displeasure about that to her.  I just need to have faith in Karma.

Quoting Mariedchk:

Poor girl! Been there, done that. I would say let her talk, cry about it to you, get it all out! . Try not to bad talk on the X, he may come back and she will remember your words.


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