I am just so sad and I can't shake it! Edit
My dog died Monday! Capo was my buddy! My 4th child! My best friend! My huggy! He was a 140lb lap dog! He loved everyone if they were not near me or my daughter! He hated aggressive behavior. He was trained to attack, and protect me and my daughter! He was my sons best buddy for the last 10 years. He was beautiful, and very well mannered (most of the time)!
When I would tell him not to beg he would turn his head away, but his eyes would be cocked just so that he could see if just a crumb fell on the floor. He would lay either in bed with me at night on next to my bed. He was never far from my feet. When I was on here chatting, he was laying his head on my lap, and I would be petting him. I told people I am like a smoker that quit smoking, and I just don't know what to do with my hands!
We have Chihuahuas. But, I am not a small dog person. I like cats better then small dogs, and I don't like cats. But, the oldest Chi has kind of grown on me. He was Capo's best buddy. CJ, is just about 5 years old and we have had him since he was 6 months old. He is walking around in circles looking for him. He does not know what to do with out him. He crawls up on my lap and I swear he is crying. He lays his body snuggly against me like he is hugging me. He goes outside, and for the first time ever he tried to leave the yard, and we have actually considered a chain for him. Because we are afraid he is going to go searching and go in the road.
I honestly can say I feel as bad losing him as I did when my Gram died. Some may think that is strange. In fact I would think it was strange if I was reading that someone else said that. But, he really was a part of me. I just don't know what to do with myself!
My kids and my husband have been great. My oldest son and my younger son buried him in the exact spot where he was born. My daughter has been full of hugs, and tears with me. My husband says I wish I wave a magic wand and he could reappear!
He is buried under this willow tree!
This is my son with him on Sunday night. The kids spent about 3 hours just sitting around loving him and giving anything and everything he wanted. He got peanut butter given to him with their fingers, and hugs, and I asked him if we could go play ball, and he just gave me his look.
I will miss him more then anyone knows!
My days after I posted this got much worse. I had started getting sick. I thought it was because I was so sad. But, after a few days, my husband said if you don't call the doctor I am. So, I called and made an appointment. I went on a Friday afternoon. She checked me over and said that I needed immediate surgery. I was shocked. I just thought I had the flu. I knew I had a hernia. But, turns out it was incarcerated *I call it impacted because that is basically the same thing and easier to understand*. Then during the surgery they found a second one. They were on the outer lining of my stomach.
Then after I was released from the hospital I wanted to spend time with CJ. I had bought some new shampoo for him, and wanted to try it. So Tuesday I gave him a bath. Wednesday morning we woke up to him very red and swollen. I called the vet, and told me to wash him every couple of hours, and if he got worse to call him immediately. He started seizing shortly after that. He died on July 12th. In the early hours of the morning. The vet told us there was nothing he could for him. He said he could of given him an epi shot, but they are really hard on small dogs, so it may have killed. But when CJ started seizing he was closed, and the closest vet was about an hour and half away. He would have survived the drive.
I miss my boys! I am going stir crazy with them! My husband gave me one CJ's puppies that we had. He thought she would help me get over my depression. But, I cannot connect with her. She is beautiful, and funny, but I just like bigger dogs.
I want to thank everyone for replying! I want to thank everyone for their stories. I am glad to know that I am not the only one that is this attached to a dog (or in my case 2 dogs)! You can see pictures of them on page 7. I don't have any pictures on my laptop.