Help - Is She A Well-Meaning Friend Or Is She Trying To Hurt Me?
First of all, let me say I've known this woman (from the church my ex still attends) for over a decade. She says I'm one of the few people in this world she trusts to watch her kids. And when my furnace broke after my ex-husband and I separated and I was barely scraping by, it was she and her husband who brought groceries and a space heater.
But here's the thing. I don't ask her for advice, but she offers it freely and asks extremely personal, often hurtful questions. She told me today I should have bought a house next to hers so she could watch Hannah and I could get a "REAL" job instead of working from home for such a small amount. She also told me a judge wouldn't take Han from me and give full custody to her dad over work responsibilities, but if I can't take care of her physical needs I'll lose her. I AM working; I have 2 more years of alimony, giving me time to find a better paying job, I receive child support, I have savings, and I am looking for better employment, but I can't leave a 9 yr old alone to get herself ready for school, which is why I took the work from home job. I also worked as a substitute teacher when my oldest daughter lived with me and she could help get her sister ready for school, but I don't have that option anymore. She also criticizes my choice to buy an older home rather than a brand new one like she did. I like the charm of an older house; I like my neighborhood, I bought a house that had updated plumbing and electrical. I just like THIS house. The ceiling in her brand new house caved in this week for the third time because of water seepage. I never said a thing. She asks me about my power bill, why I bought a house without a full-time job (to give my child stability and to get her into one of the top 10 public schools in the state - I did my homework!). She homeschools and bad-mouths public school at every opportunity. She asked me if I feel like a "liar" because my ex-husband is dating a woman who's highly respected in the church, making me look like I was crazy for leaving him. She sends me job links via email for which I have ZERO qualifications. I'm a teacher, not an accountant! Her meddling may very lead to the demise of our friendship. If I asked her for advice it would be one thing. It just feels like she's judging my choices, and I had enough judgment and criticism in my marriage to last me a lifetime. Yet I'm a mouse. I rarely ever tell people off. It's just not my style. Ask my kids. And BTW - she is 20 years younger than I am!!!