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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

help with a bridezilla

Posted by on Jul. 13, 2012 at 4:59 PM
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My niece is getting married #2 in sept she is driving us all nuts with everything! she has to have approval on all (even dresses of us not in the wedding). She will call ppl like her brother and my dd and verbally harrass them with four letter words, she tells my dd she is a bad influence on her dd(13) who has been suspended from school twice,used and dated a guy that sold drugs all without my dd being around! I have just been trying to be supportive of my sister who is also getting the zilla moody crap! I am doing the cake and mints. Worried about buying the wrong dress, or step on the brides toes in any way, just stay clear of her, which is so hard! Yes i know its her day, but she is making our lives hell in the mean time. Any ideas to help me, hugs to u all and many thanks
by on Jul. 13, 2012 at 4:59 PM
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Replies (1-8):
keljo05
by Kelly on Jul. 13, 2012 at 5:08 PM

honestly? I'd back out now. Tell her her behavior is unacceptable and you will not help her. She can still order a cake in time and make her own darn mints.

i hate bridezillas - people get married all the time and unless you're marrying the prince of england.. no one outside the families and friends care... and if she continues in this theme none of them will care.

redlady125
by Silver sister on Jul. 13, 2012 at 5:14 PM

I AGREE WITH U KELJIO,JUST BECAUSE U R GETTING MARRIED U DONT HAVE TO BE NASTY ,PEOPLE WILL NOT WANT TO BE AROUND HER AND SOMEONE NEED TO TELL HER ,BECAUSE,NO ONE WILL WANT TO GO TO THAT WEDDING I DONT CARE HOW MUCH U R FAMILY THEY WILL NOT SHOW UP ,AND SHE WILL BE BY HERSELF WITH THE GROOM ,AND HE W MAY NOT COME AS WELL .U HAVE TO TALK TO HER AND TELL HER SHE NEEDS TO BE NICER.

SuperWoman8
by on Jul. 13, 2012 at 5:16 PM

I wouldn't back out. they people will always remember that you did so.

bet her daughter has blamed your daughter for stuff that she did! I'd just screen your calls until she get married and do all you can to not get involved.

is she pregnant? or maybe on a big diet and taking diet pills? my former boss got like that. got obsessing with wearing a 6 year old wedding dress from a former engagement and took pills that had such bad affects like acting crazy that her fiance told her to drop the diet or he was calling it all off!

is this behavior new or has she always been like this?

sunflowers12
by Silver sister on Jul. 13, 2012 at 5:20 PM
Well its her day.. not her's to hurt those who are supportive of her.. I know it stressful and all but it's wedding have fun take time out for life n stuff... Sometimes I think people get caught up in the wrong things.. you can try but there's a good chance you will be assassinated by her mouth.. best to stay away do what you can try avoiding at all cost..
manilowgal
by on Jul. 13, 2012 at 6:56 PM
Yes it's her day but if she's not careful that day may not happen. How does fiance deal with all this?
I'd have to confront her (intervention kinda) & let her know you're happy for her but she's actually ruining the experience for herself. Yes it's going to be stressful(reason I eloped). But it's suppose to be an enjoyable time as well. If she's not going to enjoy & totally be a bridezilla, I'd refuse to make the cake & mints....give her the $$ you would put into it & tell hee to have someone else make them. You loveher but don't have to take abuse.
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lil_mama06
by Debbie on Jul. 13, 2012 at 7:03 PM

HUGS and as a mother who's daughter is getting married in August..I would tell my daughter to fly right...(I have) It's ridiculous for the bride to have to know what everyone is wearing...Her business is herself and the wedding party..MAYBE her mom too...Good Luck hon...I have to make a cake too..I never have, so this is going to be fun..I just may order it yet..lol

shadenn766
by Platinum sister on Jul. 15, 2012 at 1:01 PM

 i would dis-invite myself...i have no time for silly drama

cupcake2424
by Sister on Jul. 16, 2012 at 10:58 AM
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Working with brides for years, yes some are like this. Here are a few suggestions. One person that she relates to well needs to sit down with her and go thru all her plans and see where she is. If it has been done and no more action required check it off. Anything she still needs doing only directly related with the wedding, make a timeline on a new sheet & have everything done 1 week before the wedding. This allows time for her to pamper herself, & do anything last minute that may come up
Third. She wants to be the most beautiful person at the wedding, what bride doesn't? That is why she is checking your clothes, she doesn't want anyone to stand out. If she continues this behavior you can say, "I have a dress, but no one will even notic it because everyone will be looking at you--you are going to be such a beautiful Bride.
Fourth about your daughter,just an easy target for a very nervous person. Most likely after all us said and done she will apologize or won't remember she said it.
Fifth. Do her cake, why rock the boat and she is your niece. If she gets picky or mean, you are going to be the last one working on it so do what you think is best. She will be happy at the wedding.
And lastly , however hard this is, a family member older than her should try to go to lunch or dinner with her once a week until the wedding. Wedding talk is ok, but so are old stories and things she wants for her future. Bridzillas are overwhelmed and people get angry instead of shown them they really love them. A day at the spa wouldn't hurt either! Good luck. Let us know how it turns out. I have seen this process work miracles as long as the family stays calm. : )
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