at 40 i did not think "friendship" problems would be an issue. but I really need some advice. My best friend and I have had our ups and downs over the years but the last few really bother me. most recently we were having a conversation on the phine about our husbands, which is normal for us, the topic was how much our husbands drink. she was complaining about her husband and I was complaining about mine then it turned to her saying how my husband was way worse than hers, which that did not offenend me to much,so i mentioned lets do an intervention witht the guys together (something her and her husband did to my husband several years ago) and she said way would we do that to her husband because he is not as bad as mine. then she goes on to say how much she values her and I's friendship but she could careless if my husband was in her life...and said it several times. I just sat there not sure if i heard her right then I changed the subject. the more I thought about it the madder I got. my husband may drink to much from time to time at BBQ's and parties but he has help her and her husband out many times! he has helped them rebuild the fence around their whole back yard at their old house, put in a sprinkler system, helped them turn their garage into a family room, baught and built a fence at their new how when they first moved in and just a month ago spent 2 weekends at their house helping them put up a new pool...just to name a few things. she has always been very judgemental, shallow and tries to make sure she is better than me in some way all the time. I dould go on....i have not spoken to her since it has been over a week I can not stop thinking about it.
It sounds like she is pretty miserable and trying to bring you down with her.
I personally would wait a while before talking with her. Get it out of your system, and then talk.
I have a "friend" like that. she is very negative, adn tries to bring me down, she never says anything nice, and we can't relaly have a nice conversation. I always try to look at the positive, and she is just the opposite. I have greatly limited my interaction with her except for checking in occassionally to see how she is doing. The only reason I check in is that we are childhood friends, and I feel obligated- sort of like a sister as I never had one. I helped her when she had cancer, and that was a drain too- I never thought she'd make it though because of her negative outlook.
I think it is time to take a break, and don't take her word for anything by saying your husband is worse than hers. Her statements are not friendship worthy, and it's unfortunate that she doesn't know any better. She seems to be a very unhappy person. Don't let her get you down. Sorry that happened :( Nex time you talk, make a point to be upbeat and positive, don't respond with any complaints, and actually I don't think she is one that you want to share personal problems with :(
Quoting sunflowers12:
Well that's pretty crazy and yeah I agree at 40 this kinda sounds very superficial kinda like 20 somethings but I guess this type of thing can pop up anywhere... This is why I avoid friendships right here cause know matter how hard I try or how much I do it never matters.. so find my self happy being a loner n that's just fine by me:) I don't think I would have much to say to her either, but the next time they need help I guess they are so great they can do it them selves... Wish folks could just get over them selves, but some never do!!
If she is a true friend any negative statements about your dh would have been kept to herself. Seems like she is just using your friendship to get work out of your dh...I would have to rethink our friendship. ((HUGS))
Well that was a really snarky thing for her to say. I'd call her on it...
i understand that you were offended...but she dosent have to like your husband...she dosen't have to disrespect when speaking about him either...
bottom line...if its a stressful "friendship"...cancel her acct...be done with it... life is to short yada yada yada you know the rest..
good luck.
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- jolieann10
on Jul. 16, 2012 at 8:31 PM