I recently was talking to a friend who mentioned that her husband is always telling her she is hot. She's an attractive woman and they've been married probably 40 years (in their 60s). I decided to ask some of my other married friends who have been married a long time if their husbands complimented their bodies and made them feel pretty and desireable. They all said yes too. I even ran the question in the Answers section of Cafemom and a TON of women responded that their husbands constantly tell them they are attractive & hot.
OK - my husband has never told me I was hot or looked at me changing clothes or naked and grabbed me or looked at me in a sexy way. We have great sex but it's always after going to bed and the lights are off. I've begun to get a complex where I won't let him see me naked because I feel ashamed that my body isn't good enough. I'm normal weight at 5'2" 115 lbs. but I feel since he never says anything, I cover up. I've told him I feel like I'm getting a fat stomach because of menopause and he tells me "you aren't fat. And even if you did get fat, I'd still love you."
I finally brought it up last night and just plain out asked him if he was attracted to me and if he thought I was pretty. He said "of course I do - I'm married to you." I told him, "well, I know you are attracted to slender women with full hips, and I don't have that type of body." He just looked at me and said "I love you."
I know he loves me more than anything - but he just doesn't understand. Or is it that his standards are so high for beauty that he loves me for my mind but sort of settled for my appearance? I've told this to my girlfriends and they are just flabbergasted that he can't just simply tell me I'm beautiful - if not for the sake of making me happy.