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I just found out that my son posted a question concerning my relationship on a forum

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This is what he posted.

"My mom who is in her mid 40s is in a relationship with a guy who is apparently in his early 20s. Their relationship is merely based on sex from what I can tell. She wears low cut tops and short shorts when she hangs out with him. i moved out of the house as i'm 19 years and need to attend college so I don't know what's up with her. Is their relationship considered normal? And is her clothing unusual in any way? Do I need to interfere?"

What he said is entirely true but there is no need for him to intefere. I can't imagine my son interfering in my life and dictating me. So, is there a need to confront him and discuss this issue with him or is he just going to get over it eventaully?

by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 8:48 PM
Replies (11-20):
by New sister on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:28 PM

Sadly, no. He usually keeps everything to himself. The reason being that the two of us don't have much in common. We do talk but we never had a deep conversation. So, it will be challenging to discuss this issue with him.

Quoting BL2010:

Ok, so it's not like you snooped. Do you usually use his computer? Again, if so, then talk to him about it. Have the two of you always been able to talk about things?

Quoting horsew1:

Quoting BL2010:

How did you find his post? Do you also post in the same forum? If so, then you could ask him about it. He may feel like he has to protect you.

I found it on his laptop. Maybe he forgot to switch it off or left it open intentionally. Who knows? And, no I don't remember ever posting in that forum.

by 40ish hang out queen on Oct. 3, 2012 at 9:35 PM

 I agree with most of the mom's here.  He loves you and obviously respects you and is worried.  Sit and talk with him.. HUGS

by on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:46 PM

Well relationships as you know are more than just sex. It has to do with love, then marriage, then the baby carriage.  With fifty percent of marriages ending in divorce, sex outside of marriage normally does not work.

by Mac Goddess on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:54 PM
2 moms liked this

okay I'm the odd duck here. Just because someone's laptop is left open doesn't mean you should be reading his posts. If he wants to talk to you about it he would have, but he didn't.

Actually I personally feel you were snooping on his laptop. I would not approach him about this, it doesn't sound like it will end well.

by Gold sister on Oct. 3, 2012 at 11:59 PM
I totally agree with you.

Quoting sahlady:

What a wonderful boy! He loves you , he cares, he is concerned, and he holds you with more respect than he feels you are demonstrating. His heart obviously hurts. Don't you dare " confront" him... That word has a negative connotation. He did nothing wrong. He obviously has a moral concern here. LISTEN to his concerns.

Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 12:09 AM

 While I wouldn't have looked at his laptop I personally don't feel that he really has a right to an opinion on your personal life. I don't have any say on the personal lives of my adult sons and if I were single, they wouldn't have a say on what I choose to do in my personal life. Just because you are in your mid-40's doesn't mean that you are dead in any way. It's no one's business how old the man you are seeing is, how you dress as long as you don't look like you could be a hooker (and even then it's really NOT actually their business) or if you have an active sex life. Your personal life IS your personal life. If you do choose to talk to him you will have to explain why you were on his computer so, you may want to just let it be.

by Silver sister on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:24 AM
Just have a talk with him and he will tell u what is on his mind,he don't see a women all he see is him mom.I think it is nice he is worried about u.
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by Terri on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:29 AM

Do you feel the needto ask him??Are even explain your behavior??after,all it is your life??and maybe he is just looking out for you??

by on Oct. 4, 2012 at 7:30 AM
1 mom liked this

Let me give you a childs insight.  When I was 16 my mother and father split.  For two years my mom was the same mother she had always been.  (Which wasn't a prize) But when I was 18, she started dating a man who was a truck driver.  I was ASHAMED!  Not because he was a truck driver, but because of the way she dressed and acted around him.  She had completely changed her personality.  She dressed like a whore (in my eyes) and she showed herself no respect.  She was a mother for christ sake and it made me very angry.  Oh wow, how I actually hated her.  I'm actually still getting angry typing this, thinking about how she acted.  

Talk to your son, you need to get this out in the open and make him see that your still his mother, the same mother you were before.  Don't let this fester.  

by Sister on Oct. 4, 2012 at 8:18 AM

Have him look at the older famous women, who are dating younger guy these days. I saw one later dating a 30 yr.younger than her...  I know I have a 35 yr. old son and he would look after me like this too.. Maybe you need to start the talk fist,

How do you feel about me and ___________.  Do you have any objections to this guy and me seeing each other? It is your life, but he is young, and if you are divorced he may feel he has to protect you. Keep communication lines open. This guy may leave, but your Son will be there for ever...

Quick note. I did not read any responses, so if I repeated someone I am sorry about that. Good luck.. Live, love and laugh..

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