Our 23 yr old daughter went to her dad's for dinner last night, planning to spend some quality time with him. Instead - big surprise - he yelled at her for taking out a student loan to pay for school. Apparently despite the fact that she changed her address to my house (since this is where she lives), the college didn't update her records and sent her loan paperwork to his house (which she put as her permanent address when she first enrolled as a freshman, since she was initially living in a dorm, and then later various apartments; she needed a "real" physical address. Her dad opened the student loan paperwork and pitched a fit, even though he hasn't been helping her with tuition, didn't offer this time around, and then in the same freakin' breath told her she needs to go for a master's degree. So let's get this straight: she is somehow supposed to magically come up with tuition and living expenses for 2 more years - but she can't borrow it?! And yet he's demanding she go to grad school?! And he didn't offer her any other solution or financial assistance to pay for it! Add to that the fact that he completely controls money she inherited from HIS dad that was supposed to be for her education, but that her father, as executor of his father's estate, initially set up so she couldn't access it unitl she's 26, and last night he informed her he changed the terms and she can't have it until she's 31! She figures she'll never get that money; but how can he keep it from her?! He's such a controlling a$$! Is his need to control his daughter more important than having a good relationship with his adult girl?! His need to control is apparently an addiction; I hoped and prayed he was a better person since getting involved with his new GF, but apparently it's all an act. He was SO good at hiding who he was around HIS family and around people at church while we were married, and since I'm no longer available as his favorite target to manipulate and control, his oldest daughter is next in line - and OMG do I feel guilty? You bet I do!