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13 year old son has first girlfriend - IDK how I will survive this...

Posted by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:00 AM
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UGH. And of course I am wrong for doing this, but I read their "conversations" on FB instant message...the whole damn thread back to Dec 5th. Well, he DID give me the password to his FB only yesterday, so maybe he kind of WANTS me to find out? We had a deal for the past two years that I know his password & randomly can access it...I got wind of this budding relationship from a friend, and discovered that he CHANGED his password. But he did give me the correct password last night and confirmed that he has a girlfriend. So I read the whole sordid affair this morning & I want to puke. OMG I am rambling and confused this morning!

ANYHOW - this little hussy (sorry) is REALLY putting the pressure on him! It starts out rather innocent but SHE'S the one who has progressed the conversation from innocence to "I love you" and then to hugs, then to kisses then to talking about ERECTIONS and how her ex boyfriend made her moan! My son keeps saying he wants to take it slow but she is really pushing things...she has apparently hugged him in school (and  she got him to admit that from that he got an erection) and now she wants a kiss. They've also held hands. She says she is not used to going slow.

HELP ME, FELLOW MOMS!

by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:00 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BL2010
by BL on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:10 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow, at 13! I hope he's had the talk, if not, now would be a good time. Tell him that if he wants to go slow, then go slow it should be. He should not be pressured into doing anything he is not/does not want to do.

RubyQ
by Gold sister on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:13 AM
1 mom liked this

This girl is only 13? She is way ahead of her age with the stuff she is talking about. I would explain to your son that this really isn't the norm with most girls her age, to begin with. Sounds like she has been exposed to too much--either through her own doing --or someone else's. Hopefully it wasn't an adult. Do you know anything about her home life? I know this post is about your son, but I feel sad for the girl--she doesn't realize the consequences of her behavior with regard to her peers and can't have an age appropriate relationship. 

 

 

coffeeexpress
by on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:14 AM
1 mom liked this

What thirteen yr old girl talks like that.  At that age they shouldn't even be talking about taking it slow.............  or taking it period.  I guess kids are starting younger and younger these days.  Do you know her parents?  


grammarpolice
by Sister on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:27 AM

No - apparently the parents are living together, married, in a huge McMansion house, but according to the girl they are "illegally separated" (?) In other words, the father has a girlfriend he often goes to see, etc. He is a Sheriff and the mother is a Chiropractor. UGH. Ugh. There was also some allegation of verbal abuse & "slightly physical" (whatever that means!) from the father to the girl & her brother....IDK it sounds like a mess.

In the middle of all this I have to go bring my elderly father to the Dr now...thanks ladies for the support...I feel like you are my lifeline right now! Especially since I deleted my own FB account the other day (it was feeling like too much of an "obligation" if you KWIM). Can't wait to come back later & have you all hold me up! Thank god for moms like you guys!

grammarpolice
by Sister on Dec. 12, 2012 at 9:30 AM

The father was in my younger son's Cub Scout pack last year  - he was a leader of the 5th grade boys when my (youngest) son was in 1st grade. His son has moved on to Boy Scouts (NOT the same Troop that my 13 yr old son is in.) He seemed like a nice upstanding man - HMMPPHH - with a girlfriend, a wife, and a 13 year old hoochie predatory daughter!

wishbearmom
by Sue on Dec. 12, 2012 at 10:05 AM
1 mom liked this

Yikes! It sounds like that girl is in dire need of some attention, and since she isn't getting it in the appropriate manner via her parents, she's seeking the attention of boys. I hate how much the line of propriety has moved even since my older kids were young. I remember squirming when my son's favorite show, Home Improvement, crossed that line and had the oldest son contemplating sex with his hs girlfriend. Now with all the Teen Mom shows and the rest of the reality tv crap, kids are exposed to WAY more than they should be at such a tender age, and then think somehow that IS reality - and I hope to God it isn't the norm! It certainly isn't going to be for my youngest daughter! I'm going to protect her innocence (without keeping her locked up or uninformed) for as long as possible. We can have an open dialogue, but I think that needs to include conversations about what is and isn't appropriate. I locked out the Disney channel for a long time at my house because she started getting a sassy attitude from seeing kids who have zero respect for adults. There will be no smart mouths or eye rolling at my house; adults aren't stupid, aren't to be played, manipulated or lied to. The message was received loud and clear, and I allow her to watch SOME (but not all) shows on Disney. MTV is a no no. My oldest daughter watches it, but she's almost 24, and she has to watch it in her room unless her little sis is asleep or at school.

firelites
by Anne on Dec. 12, 2012 at 10:15 AM

 time for all six choruses of,  A baby is not just her responsibility, and it's okay to say No, don't let anyone push you into a situation you are not ready for

Aishamusty
by Sister on Dec. 12, 2012 at 10:53 AM

How old is she, she seems to be in a hurry to teach your son the adult stuff, talk to him but for all he needs right now is an education and an innocent romance, this girl is too much for him 

Quoting BL2010:

Wow, at 13! I hope he's had the talk, if not, now would be a good time. Tell him that if he wants to go slow, then go slow it should be. He should not be pressured into doing anything he is not/does not want to do.


kaarina
by Boston Strong on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:08 AM

Yikes! Give your son a talk about girls like that. It sounds as if he is trying to do the right thing. I woud warn him against early sex and tell him you don't approve, but give him a box of condoms to be on the safe side. I had to do that with my boys, and I am glad that I did. I wouldnt have wanted them tied forever to some of the girls they dated.

LACHESIS
by Rachel in AZ on Dec. 12, 2012 at 11:51 AM
This is sad and scary.
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