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I hate this time of the year..

Posted by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:44 PM
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Under normal circumstances the Christmas season wouldn't bother me as much but here are the list o' things that are bothing me:

- My dad has been gone for just about 10 years now and I'm sad knowing that he's not here with me to celebrate the season. He loved the holiday season.

- My mom will not be in her own home for Christmas ever again due to her stroke earlier this fall.  While I'm thankful I didn't have to plan a funeral for her and she's alive, it hurts knowing that she will not be here.

- My depression has kicked in full force and while I'm on meds for it, upping the meds at this point doesn't make sense. I'll just have to work through it.

- Went through bankruptcy, divorce and a foreclosure this year. The divorce was a long time in the making and I'm glad that my marriage to him is over and legal now. The bankruptcy and foreclosure could have been avoided if the now ex would have worked with me in trying to avoid those things, but he didn't.

- I'm in love with my ex-bf from 22 years ago and he is with me.  While I have talked about this on here from time to time and I get people telling me that I shouldn't be in love with him and that I'm a homewrecker, etc. Please be aware that I'm also friends with his wife, so this whole situation is weird to begin with. I really don't need a lecture on this.

I realize that people are busy and don't need people, like me, to bring this season down. But realize that not everyone is happy this time of the year and in fact, it's a very difficult time of the year.


by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 5:44 PM
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Replies (1-10):
by Dungeon Queen on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:00 PM

 I'm glad you said it.  I'm not here to lecture you but to love and understand you as a friend and a sister.  Thank you for sharing this as I know it is hard and like you said not everyone is happy this time of year.  You are so brave.  I hope you put out some decorations even if they are just for you to remember the good things about your dad and mom.  Even take a picture and print it out for your mom to have in a frame by her bed. I'm sure it would make her happy.  Maybe find a movie and go to it for Christmas or maybe your friend and wife will invite you over for Christmas dinner.

Please write how it goes with you because if anything I WANT TO KNOW how you are doing.

by on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:10 PM
No lecture, no judging! This is a difficult time for many. Take some time to pamper yourself so you can feel special. For some reason we miss our loved ones more this time of year. Hugs!
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by Rachel in AZ on Dec. 18, 2012 at 6:49 PM
No judging here . ((((Hugs))))))
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by 40ish hang out queen on Dec. 18, 2012 at 9:46 PM

 HUGS.. My dad has been gone 10 yrs plus too so I know how you feel on that for the rest I won't judge and here for you to vent!

by Goddess Johnnie on Dec. 18, 2012 at 10:51 PM

This is my first Christmas since my dad has died, so I know what it's like to be feeling down and missing people.

Everyone deals with the holidays differently, and it's perfectly ok to not be 'jolly'.

by BL on Dec. 19, 2012 at 8:28 AM

You've been through an awful lot and have every right to feel like you do.  How about just taking some time for YOU. Go get a manipure/pedicure, a facial, take a hot bath and read a book. Something just for YOU. You need and deserve it. {{{{{HUGS}}}}}

by Mac Goddess on Dec. 19, 2012 at 8:35 AM

I'm sorry your having a rough time this year. My dad has been gone eleven years and Christmas was his thing.

Regarding your other stuff, that's a heap of stuff to go through in one year. 

Best wishes to you.

by Support Team Sister on Dec. 19, 2012 at 8:48 AM

my dad passed two years ago today so i can relate to how you are feeling. People around me seem to want more of me than I can give.  

Yes it is a frustrating and depressing time for many of us.

I try to look at the blessings in my life to get me through.


by on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:00 AM

 I must be a really weird person!  I don't stress my loved ones are gone, I don't get sad, it doesn't affect me what so ever.  I know I'm the odd man out.  And i remember the conversation about the boyfriend, there have been worse relationships out there!  I'm sorry you're feeling so blue, come over here, you won't time to be bored or blue!!!

by Sister on Dec. 19, 2012 at 10:11 AM

I just want to give you a big hug..........(((HUGS)))

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