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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

Ok, So I guess I am a Bytch..

Posted by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:03 AM
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My beloved Mother-in-law passed away Dec.16th (oddly enough it was a yr to the day of my beloved grand mother who practically raised me!

MIL's house was left to all 4 kids & one grand child (because the 5th child's 2nd wife interfered with his life and cut him out of MIL's life and didn't "allow him to pay child support and MIL took care of Grand daughter)

Now, the will, bank accounts, and house all need to be settled. My BIL& SIL's and Dh& I all had a talk about what was what, 3 of them went to see the Atty. It was decided to leave MIL's house as is for a little bit. It will be sold with in the year, and all proceeds split evenly.

Here is my beef, One SIL, always claims broke, her DH is just a private school principal, she has a part time job, and they never have any money so they will not put any money towards the up keep of the house(heat,lights, taxes, repairs, home owners insurance, etc) the 2nd SIL has no job, and her DH is a boozing alcoholic, who just filed Chap.13 and let their house go,(I know he thinks they will go live in MIL's house for free,(the may have 6 mos. in their own home) so this SIL will not help pay anything towards the up keep of the house either. It will be DH and myself, along with his twin brother and his wife. We will be paying the up keep and bills and taxes.(the house needs some touching up and repairs before it can be sold) We of course will have to pay for that too)

So when it comes to sell the house, I think we should be reimbursed our costs first then the rest of the sale get divided evenly to everyone, and yes the house deed is in all 4 adults names. I told my DH I know it sounds like I'm being a Bytch..( Dh actually said he thought BIL & his wife and he and I should be reimbursed first then the proceeds get split evenly) I feel if the house is in all 4 names all four should contribute to it's up keep. Not just be there with their hands out when it sells.

by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
fnlyhappy65
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:08 AM
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Who is the administrator?  This is something that should be legally set out, the expenses could be reimbursed from her estate or something.  Good luck and sorry for your loss :(

maryg38
by Sweet Mary <3 on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:09 AM
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I agree with you! You should be reimbursed first. That is your money that you have set aside. Keep receipts and times of when you were there for proof. Take videos too.



Wishing you much luck peace and harmony in your household

Sorry for your loss
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mom22tumblebugs
by Silver sister on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:11 AM
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Who is the executor?

My FIL passed away in october. DH's sister is the executor. She has authorization to pay bills etc for the house maintenance from the bank account and the funds that her father left behind.

Once the house is sold, and everything fiinancial is settled, then and only then is money being disbursed. There is no fighting over what each is owed. That is petty. Your MIL wouldn't have wanted it that way. Also, understand that personal possessions that are disbursed also carry a value. When DH's mom passed away, DH got her car. Granted it was older, and worth maybe $2 grand, but it was still what he got from her. There was no complaint, just thankfulness. We used it for a while until the transmission gave out and was too costly to repair.

FIL house will go on the market this spring after some repairs and updates (new carpet) are complete.

I wish families didn't fight over what is left behind, like vultures. So sad.

jmlmomma
by Momma's new BFF on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:25 AM
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Get everything in writing.. You should be paid back for expenses before the money is split... 

valkay
by faithful sister on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:28 AM
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 You should get your spent money up front before it is divided.  Also so there will be an executor appointed.

When my parents died my brother and I sold it to our younger brother.  We could have gotten more out of it had we waited but I knew I would be stuck with the out of pocket expenses. Taxes and such

gr8d8n3mom
by Bronze sister on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:29 AM


Quoting fnlyhappy65:

Who is the administrator?  This is something that should be legally set out, the expenses could be reimbursed from her estate or something.  Good luck and sorry for your loss :(

My BIL that is also helping pay expenses is the administrator. He is the one all the bills (heat, electric, name will be in) We will have the cancelled checks sent to him for the purpose to help pay for MIL's/the house & bills... thank you..

jakesmom323
by on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:31 AM
It should go to auction to get rid of the drama and everyone gets their cut. There is a very similar situation in my family and one has lived in the house for 3 years! She pays all taxes and maintenance though. It's going to get ugly soon if someone doesn't tell her how it's going to be....it's against the law how the will was divided.
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gr8d8n3mom
by Bronze sister on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:33 AM


Quoting maryg38:

I agree with you! You should be reimbursed first. That is your money that you have set aside. Keep receipts and times of when you were there for proof. Take videos too.



Wishing you much luck peace and harmony in your household

Sorry for your loss

Thank you,... We are (the 4 of us) concerned we will go back to an empty house or missing things, as the SIL w/the boozing DH goes thru $$ like water, and we don't doubt, he would go there take things and pawn or sell them, thinking no one would know. BIL was going to take pics of what ever he could, and took what every jewerly was of value with him when they left. Unfortunatly neither of us live close :( and the boozer works about 25 mins from the house. (BIL asked neighbors to keep and eye out, and the grand dauther that is getting something lives down the street, so hopefully he won't be that stupid, but he is)

coolmommy2x
by Silver sister on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:36 AM
I would have the locks changed.

Quoting gr8d8n3mom:



Quoting maryg38:

I agree with you! You should be reimbursed first. That is your money that you have set aside. Keep receipts and times of when you were there for proof. Take videos too.





Wishing you much luck peace and harmony in your household



Sorry for your loss

Thank you,... We are (the 4 of us) concerned we will go back to an empty house or missing things, as the SIL w/the boozing DH goes thru $$ like water, and we don't doubt, he would go there take things and pawn or sell them, thinking no one would know. BIL was going to take pics of what ever he could, and took what every jewerly was of value with him when they left. Unfortunatly neither of us live close :( and the boozer works about 25 mins from the house. (BIL asked neighbors to keep and eye out, and the grand dauther that is getting something lives down the street, so hopefully he won't be that stupid, but he is)

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gr8d8n3mom
by Bronze sister on Dec. 30, 2012 at 10:38 AM


Quoting mom22tumblebugs:

Who is the executor?

My FIL passed away in october. DH's sister is the executor. She has authorization to pay bills etc for the house maintenance from the bank account and the funds that her father left behind.

Once the house is sold, and everything fiinancial is settled, then and only then is money being disbursed. There is no fighting over what each is owed. That is petty. Your MIL wouldn't have wanted it that way. Also, understand that personal possessions that are disbursed also carry a value. When DH's mom passed away, DH got her car. Granted it was older, and worth maybe $2 grand, but it was still what he got from her. There was no complaint, just thankfulness. We used it for a while until the transmission gave out and was too costly to repair.

FIL house will go on the market this spring after some repairs and updates (new carpet) are complete.

I wish families didn't fight over what is left behind, like vultures. So sad.

I agree with you 100%, We always sent my MIL a check every month to help her cover her expenses.  I'm so tired of everyone playing the blame game, and when it gets down to the actual work, it's always the same ppl doing it. I just believe in this situation, the 4 of us should be reimbursed for our expenses in keeping up the house and paying for the repairs, as none of the others will be putting out any money or time, but will be there with their hands out when the home sells,(like I said, one couple may just move in and not say a word to anyone!)

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