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you f*** up!! up date: confronted son !!

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Is what my 17 year old told me today!! The followed up by why didn't you take the pill!!!
So I went to pick him up from work today on the way home got on the subject of having kids n stuff that's when he thought it would be ok to make his statement.. my kids I have sacrificed my life for have seemed to never have any problem speaking to me with such disrespect... He said I should have just had my three oldest and stopped .. huh just seems selfish n hurtful which are right up his ally sorta speak..

 

 

well it seems my post has gotten quite a lot of attention!!! thanks to those of you who were supportive and not judgemental/ridicule manner... i said to my son just a short while ago that he hurt my feelings by his statement!! he said well i didn't mean it the way i took it!! he said we were taking about having kids and he interpreted what i was saying is that having kids was bad all the way around.. i said no, son having  you kids has made me a better person the hard part is raising good ppl to enter into the world preparedto handle what ever comes their way that what so hard about it... obviously not having kids while your still a kid your self...

so it seems we all kinda misunderstand each other and sometimes get hurt feelings... but before i react in anger i wait and thank about it a while and the react i find its just a better way to deal with life's misunderstandings...

by on Jan. 13, 2013 at 9:23 PM
Replies (41-46):
25beengoodtome
by Crazy LiL' Sister on Jan. 15, 2013 at 1:23 PM
1 mom liked this

sunflowers, you sure hold a lot of wisdom.

 It's unfortunite so many parents forget to hold back on angry reactions with children.

 ~Marie;I AM ADDICTED to CafeMom!

jmlmomma
by Momma's new BFF on Jan. 15, 2013 at 7:09 PM

This has been a very interesting post... Not sure how I would have responded to the first comment from your son...other then I have 7 siblings and I know how my older brothers treated my mom about her having other children.....I may have over reacted to his comment...Glad you where able to work it out with him and it was a misunderstanding.

bhow
by Bronze sister on Jan. 16, 2013 at 3:18 PM

Well, hopefully for your sake someday he will wake up and realize you are not a doormat.  I'm sorry he is being so hard on you.  Perhaps some of the older kids could talk to him?  If they will and or care.  Our older brother didn't care that our little bro was so nasty to mom, but I wouldn't let him get away with anything.

Quoting sunflowers12:

 oh he is my third oldest i have six kids ages 21 /10 and it seems that they mainly the oldest three now have said something along this line of how much it sucks that there are so many of them... again i have disciplined all my kids the same they have all receive the same treatment... they we all breasts fed their all by the dad there is know divorce or any abuse or emotional problems just good ol fashion smart a** ... he is mad because at 16 i say its time to get a job and become more responsible, however he is my oldest son and he has not been as "go gett them" as his two older sisters, and he feels i should be buying all the expensive toys and what have you... now he is 17 and will be 18 in July and he has that i am smarter then you thing going on... i know what it is and have been through it before but it never gets any easier just like with child birth just cause you have a bunch doesn't make it any less painful!! sorta speak...

Quoting bhow:

If I'm reading this correctly, he is the baby.

You did not deserve to be spoke to like that, none of us do, ever.  But, is it possible he didn't get the same "follow thru" as far as being taught to respect you at all times, through out his life?  Perhaps when he was younger you over looked his mouthing off?  My mother let my little bro walk all over his mother and he was the same way.  I never let him talk to me like that and now?  He respects me more than his mother.  

 


How2Be

sunflowers12
by Silver sister on Jan. 16, 2013 at 3:24 PM

 yeah, he understands that it would have been a bad remark to say but as i said we just totally misunderstood one another.. and when i posted my feelings were down in the dumps.. but as i sad as well i try to wait on reacting and just try talking it out if its possible sometimes it isn't... that's just life and you have to agree to disagree... but this situation has been put to rest :)

Quoting bhow:

Well, hopefully for your sake someday he will wake up and realize you are not a doormat.  I'm sorry he is being so hard on you.  Perhaps some of the older kids could talk to him?  If they will and or care.  Our older brother didn't care that our little bro was so nasty to mom, but I wouldn't let him get away with anything.

Quoting sunflowers12:

 oh he is my third oldest i have six kids ages 21 /10 and it seems that they mainly the oldest three now have said something along this line of how much it sucks that there are so many of them... again i have disciplined all my kids the same they have all receive the same treatment... they we all breasts fed their all by the dad there is know divorce or any abuse or emotional problems just good ol fashion smart a** ... he is mad because at 16 i say its time to get a job and become more responsible, however he is my oldest son and he has not been as "go gett them" as his two older sisters, and he feels i should be buying all the expensive toys and what have you... now he is 17 and will be 18 in July and he has that i am smarter then you thing going on... i know what it is and have been through it before but it never gets any easier just like with child birth just cause you have a bunch doesn't make it any less painful!! sorta speak...

Quoting bhow:

If I'm reading this correctly, he is the baby.

You did not deserve to be spoke to like that, none of us do, ever.  But, is it possible he didn't get the same "follow thru" as far as being taught to respect you at all times, through out his life?  Perhaps when he was younger you over looked his mouthing off?  My mother let my little bro walk all over his mother and he was the same way.  I never let him talk to me like that and now?  He respects me more than his mother.  

 


 

bhow
by Bronze sister on Jan. 16, 2013 at 3:27 PM
1 mom liked this

Oh good, and you are right about disagreeing to agree.  Have a good one.

Quoting sunflowers12:

 yeah, he understands that it would have been a bad remark to say but as i said we just totally misunderstood one another.. and when i posted my feelings were down in the dumps.. but as i sad as well i try to wait on reacting and just try talking it out if its possible sometimes it isn't... that's just life and you have to agree to disagree... but this situation has been put to rest :)

Quoting bhow:

Well, hopefully for your sake someday he will wake up and realize you are not a doormat.  I'm sorry he is being so hard on you.  Perhaps some of the older kids could talk to him?  If they will and or care.  Our older brother didn't care that our little bro was so nasty to mom, but I wouldn't let him get away with anything.

Quoting sunflowers12:

 oh he is my third oldest i have six kids ages 21 /10 and it seems that they mainly the oldest three now have said something along this line of how much it sucks that there are so many of them... again i have disciplined all my kids the same they have all receive the same treatment... they we all breasts fed their all by the dad there is know divorce or any abuse or emotional problems just good ol fashion smart a** ... he is mad because at 16 i say its time to get a job and become more responsible, however he is my oldest son and he has not been as "go gett them" as his two older sisters, and he feels i should be buying all the expensive toys and what have you... now he is 17 and will be 18 in July and he has that i am smarter then you thing going on... i know what it is and have been through it before but it never gets any easier just like with child birth just cause you have a bunch doesn't make it any less painful!! sorta speak...

Quoting bhow:

If I'm reading this correctly, he is the baby.

You did not deserve to be spoke to like that, none of us do, ever.  But, is it possible he didn't get the same "follow thru" as far as being taught to respect you at all times, through out his life?  Perhaps when he was younger you over looked his mouthing off?  My mother let my little bro walk all over his mother and he was the same way.  I never let him talk to me like that and now?  He respects me more than his mother.  

 


 


How2Be

cuteoverload
by on Jan. 17, 2013 at 8:37 AM
1 mom liked this

 You are always welcome.

 

to SISTERHOOD

My name is Margie, divorced, single mom, criminal justice professional, mother of two sons ages 26 and 29.  It's nice to meet you and want to welcome you to our family of sisterhood where you are loved as both friend and family.  If you ever need to talk, just make a post and someone will be there to listen.  Have a wonderful day.  I live in Kansas, which is the center of the US.

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