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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

Where does it end.........? Motherhood and heartbreak Life Time of Learning!!!

Posted by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:26 AM
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Hi, All.......I am 40 and thought life was suppose to get easier. Well, its NOT!!! I have 5 beautiful children, one of whom just Graduated this year!! So proud of him :) But, now I have to learn to LET GO!!!! Any advice!! What helped you? I need to quite being a helicopter MOM!! There are times he comes to me for help, I love that!!! Then there are times he DON'T. I seem to worry ALOT!!! :)

by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:26 AM
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Replies (1-10):
kthomasson
by Sister on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:31 AM
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It's hard, my oldest just graduated this past year as well and it's sooooo hard.  She has not done well this first semester at community college.  But I finally realized that if I don't let her stumble, fall and pick herself back up she is never going to learn from her mistakes and then fix them herself.  It helps me to keep telling myself that I did everything I could and that she has the proper tools in place to succeed, she just has to use them.  I worry alot also, I think that's perfectly normal :)  I help her when she comes to me but I am learning to back off and let her either fly or crash land!

bdenell
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:39 AM
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It's just a feeling of lost. I know I am not losing him as my son. However this is  something I never even thought about preparing myself for. If I had only knew, what I know now!!! I would have difinately found me some good books, and would have battened down my heart for the road ahead. As a mother we go forward with unconditional love for our children, ready to combat the world. Make their world a safe and more friendly world. And yet the Happy Ending you want for them, isn't up to you anymore. That I think is the harder part for us as mothers. Not knowing and desperately want a HAPPILY EVER AFTER for our children. The World is not kind, and doesn't share the love a mother has for her child. Thanks for the reply!!! Your awesome!!

starlight1968
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Today at 9:55 PM
by 40ish hang out queen on Jan. 16, 2013 at 10:42 AM
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 I can honestly say you never quit worring about them but you HAVE to let them go/learn or you will not have taught him how to live life...  Our oldest lives in CA. we live in TX...she is now married but we still worry about her..

bdenell
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:05 AM

Thanks for the advice!! :)

cuteoverload
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:11 AM
1 mom liked this

 

to Sisterhood

I am Margie, divorced, single, mother of two sons ages 26 and 29, no grandchildren yet.  Criminal Justice Professional.  It is so nice to meet a new sister.  The more you post or reply the more I will get to know you better.  Have a nice day and welcome to sisterhood.

jlsjjsmom
by Sister on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:35 AM
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Hi and welcome to 40ish. My boys are 22 and 25. No matter how old they are they're always your kids and you'll always worry. It was much easier when they were small and you could kiss away their 'owies'. Just remember that you raised him the best you could and that you raised him to be able to spread his wings and fly!

TerriAnne2606
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:40 AM
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Let go?  Not.  LOL  It's tough.  My oldest (I have 4 - 24, 23, 22 and 3) and I was horrified when my oldest moved to Corpus Christi about 3 hours away after he graduated from HS.  I missed him SOOOOO much.  But, he came back (getting married on May 21st - yes, a Tuesday - see my post - LOL) and they live really close to us and he's even a teacher in his sisters daycare class.  But, they do grow up and begin to live their own lives.  It's what we did for them - gave them the courage and ability to do so. So, in the long run - good job momma!!!

bdenell
by on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:42 AM

Thank you for the warm welcome!!

sahlady
by It's a jen.thing :) on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:52 AM
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did he graduate high school or college?  is he living at home or moving to school/apartment?  is he working?  what is the happy ever after ending that is missing for him?  is there a specific problem he is having or are you mourning the loss of having him in the home?

my oldest is a senior this year and will be going off to college come aug.  Im sure I will be there with you as far as having that feeling of loss.  To combat my current emotions with the graduation so near I have signed up for a marathon and therefore have to focus a chunk of energy on training.  Not to mention I still have two at home that need me.  Im not sure how I will deal with the feeling of loss when she is not here.... but this is a good place to come since so many of the women have been through this and are now on the other side.

BL2010
by BL on Jan. 16, 2013 at 11:58 AM
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Hi and welcome to the group. I'm sure these awesome ladies wil lhave some great advice for you. Stick around and jump in anytime, anywhere and have fun.

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