Prior to our dating, we had the serious conversation of being in different life cycles and J had exclaimed that he was well aware of that and was accepting of my life as it exists. Welp, last week, I got the "we're in two very different stages of life and I don't feel like I want to be tripping over toys at this stage in my life...."
His interactions with my child had been limited in exposing any "relationship". What she did see was two good friends spending time together as I didn't want to push things (and now glad that I was cautious as I was!)......
I guess I'm just sad as I enjoyed the companionship. It's been 4yrs since the divorce...I know that I don't need somebody to be happy, as I was living a full life prior to J's arrival in our life....I didn't think that there was a huge gap, but our priorities in life were certainly different. I'll be hesitant to test the dating waters again for a very, very long time.
:(
Thanks for listening....
Sham
I'm sorry you got a little hurt in this prospective relationship but aren't you glad you found out now rather then later?
There are plenty of men that are in the same "life cycle" as you and some that are more open to realizing that sometimes the best fish (which you are) have little fishies.
Hugs to you sweetie and welcome to 40ish. :-)
Quoting RubyQ:Why be hesitant when you're so astute at navigating the pitfalls? You took proper precautions with your daughter's affections and they turned out to be necessary. That's preparation.
Not doing something-- in this case, dating--simply because it doesn't work out perfectly the FIRST time is self defeating. Not to mention being rather punitive to yourself. No relationships are perfect--even ones we've had for years. Why place that condition on a budding, possible relationship you aren't familiar with? If you think about it, because you thought with your head, first, and not your heart, this recent relationship did end up going 'perfect'.
_-You got to explore a new relationship you might not have explored otherwise.
--You chose a person who was honest enough to tell you how he really felt, early on, preventing dragged out resentment if you had invested deeper into the relationship.
--That person's honesty, and your foresight, prevented any emotional fallout for your daughter, and limited emotional fallout for you, when the dating relationship ended.
So while this relationship ended as it should, it didn't end up as you wanted; but that's no reason to punish yourself with not enjoying dating at all. : )
That's for sure. For the first few years after parting ways with my dh I was feeling sorry for myself and not looking ahead. My dating was sorry. Then on one of my mopey bitchy days dd had enough and she gave the dating speech I gave her. I had forgottem my own advice, not too much from the above. Started opening up, eventually got my groove back. My bf of a few years is my man. We are a pair. We are just about agreeable on most things---sex, our dislikes, what we do, where we go, our and his kids, and so on..... Getting married again, maybe.
I am sorry; (( hugs)). I do know exactly what you mean.
Quoting keljo05:ehh... its going to happen. Men are more hard wired to have to have someone in their life and he most likely did not look at the full picture when he first spoke.
While not much comfort, I'm glad you found out this soon into the relationship as opposed to a year in. I know it still hurts, I'm sorry he changed his perspective.
I can relate. I meet the perfect man(or so I thought) we clicked so well and he asked me to move in with him. So I proceeded to start looking for jobs near where he lives, gave notice to my landlord and everything....this past weekend it blew up in my face and now hereI sit!
Congratulations to the class of 2013
This Is Not a Sandwich
- LilShamrock
on Jan. 21, 2013 at 7:07 AM