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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

Should I warn my co-worker or not?

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 10:20 PM
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This post is about my co-worker and friend. I have known her for 5 years (we met on the job). We work in the same department, sometimes ride together, and sometimes shop together when we get off work. I really enjoy being around her but her work performance is not that great. In fact, I do not like working with her at all. We work in the rehab department and our job is very physical.Well, I am not sure if she is just lazy, not motivated, or is not interested in the job, but she does hardly nothing. The other 2 ladies and myself have done all the work for about 2 years now while she walks behind us and talks to everyone (we work in a nursing home). She is often seen just standing around and talking while doing nothing. For so long now we have put up with her and just kept it to ourselves but now the department heads are talking about her and they even talked about her in the department head meeting.We have a new administrator and we have been told that she is watching our lazy co-worker. One of the QI nurses that is in charge of us told me today that she saw her all day walking around and following me while I was doing all the work. She told me very tactfully that maybe I should talk to her because our supervisor might get rid of her and replace her. I would hate to see something happen to her (my co-worker) because she is pregnant (at 42) and really needs her job. Should I talk to my friend/co-worker and tell her to "straighten up" or should I mind my own business?

by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 10:20 PM
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Replies (1-10):
coolmommy2x
by Silver sister on Jan. 21, 2013 at 10:22 PM
I would tell her. Would you want her to tell you if they were watching you?
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manilowgal
by on Jan. 21, 2013 at 10:35 PM
I don't know what's a QI nurse is but if she is over ya'll and told your too say something, then I would.
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RobinMarie
by Silver sister on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:15 PM
4 moms liked this

I think I would likely encourage her to " be aware that the higher ups are watching all staff and their work habits" That way she will not feel singled out or that you are talking directly to her. 

grandmalove2012
by Sister on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:18 PM

I agree with RobinMarie

gaylelynne
by Sister on Jan. 21, 2013 at 11:22 PM

I agree with this.  By making it sound like they're watching everyone, you're not singling her out.  If she still doesn't straighten up, then she must not need her job as much as you think she does.

Quoting RobinMarie:

I think I would likely encourage her to " be aware that the higher ups are watching all staff and their work habits" That way she will not feel singled out or that you are talking directly to her. 


secondcup5
by Proud Canuck on Jan. 22, 2013 at 3:58 AM

 It sounds like your co-worker shouldn`t be there.  Would I warn her??? I don`t know if I would--2 years, you and the others have been carrying her--does that sound fair??  No!! Maybe she needs to rethink her profession.....

rosebud727
by Mac Goddess on Jan. 22, 2013 at 5:41 AM

You need to do what your conscious tells you. Do you feel comfortable telling her she is being watched? You will then have to explain what that means and by whom.

Secondly, will she change her work performance or just slip back into her usual routine of slacking off when she thinks nobody is watching.

dana63
by Momma of 40ish on Jan. 22, 2013 at 6:30 AM

If you were asked to talk to her then I would do it in a tactful way. I think this QI nurse was giving you heads up and thought maybe as her friend you could let her know that what could happen. I know being pregnant could take a lot out of a woman but if she is having any limitations then she needs to let her supervisor know and they can adjust her workload. Good luck!

RubyQ
by Gold sister on Jan. 22, 2013 at 8:05 AM

 So are you asking if you should save her from herself? Honestly, if she hasn't bothered to save herself in the five years she's worked there, what makes you think you have the ability to do it? And shouldn't she be the one recognizing that she really needs her job, due to the impending birth of her child?

 I say these things to give you a good perspective on what is actually your responsibility; because, unfortunately, the object (or main persons) of these situations usually end up hating the messenger, rather than the message (which is about them taking responsibility for themselves) even though that message may be beneficial to them.

 Also, how much of management's responsibility do want to take on, at the risk of ill will with her, and without getting paid a management's wage to do it? Really, those in charge should have remedied this situation long ago--no one should be asking you to do the management's dirty work of telling other workers they don't measure up. It is putting you in an unfair postion all around.

  As a regular employee, there is no way to interject your opinions/feelings/ thoughts in this situation and come out of it unscathed. If you mention anything about knowing what management is up to regarding her, she will always see YOU as the culprit in this situation--simply because it is easier to punish you, and shirk responsibility for herself, rather than taking a long hard look at her own work habits. After all, if she has been able to operate this way for five years, then she must be ok, right?

 If you must, the safest way, for you, to do things would be, at opportune moments during work or breaks, to mention your work ideas/ habits as regards yourself, and hope she picks up on them:

  "I'm not talking much today--I have a feeling this new management is strictly on top of things."

 "I'm staying busy and on my toes at all times due to new management--and lord knows it's not that hard with so much work to be done."

 "I'd rather management sees me being busy today, rather than hears me talking, I never know when they'll be monitoring me."

 You have your job, and the comfort of a good working atmosphere and environment to consider too. Don't let either the management or this person's needs-- created from her own choice of negligent work habits--take that away from you. 


cjcharlie1959
by Dungeon Queen on Jan. 22, 2013 at 8:42 AM
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 She knows what she is doing.  She probably loves her job because everyone else does the work and she gets to socialize.  No, I wouldn't say a thing to her.  She made her bed let her lie in it.  If you do say something to her she could turn on you and make you look like the bad guy. 

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