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LIFE seems like stale bread. I need some WHINE to go with it. LOL

Posted by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:15 PM
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OK...I'm about to hit the big 4 - 0 in September. I'm not afraid of death but it's like WOW, I really feel that the clock is ticking,  ticking,  ticking... and that there is so much to do that hasn't been done. Anyway, I've been a sahm for about 4 years and had a crappy job before this. I have no idea who I am anymore. I went to college too early at 17 (just wasn't ready) and dropped out of teaching...the biggest mistake in my life.It's like the world put a blindfold on me and spun me around and I don't know what career I'm cut out for now. For a few reasons, it's too late to go back to school for teaching. Who has the money to go back to school anyway...not me. Is this it ? I feel like I missed the bus. I DID miss the damn bus. 

I'm grateful that I have a daughter and husband but I haven't found that "thing I'm good at". I'm returning to work and I don't want to be a secretary/receptionist anymore. I'm just tired of that job. I've done it long enough. I want something more colorful.

Anyone else ever feel this way and what did you do about it ? I don't wanna grow up and suck it up ! LOL (of course realistically, I'll have too)

by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:15 PM
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Refurbished
by Sister on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:18 PM

I just turned 40 and feel the same thing. But I don't agree with you that it's too late to go back to school.  You've got 25 more working years left.  Might as well make it something you enjoy doing, right? 

AylinsMom
by on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:22 PM

Yeah...I know, I've thought of that but I keep hearing that it's hard to get into teaching because 1) they hire young more energetic teachers 2) you usually have to have a friend or family get you into a teaching position 3) teaching is different now a days...it's all about test scores or whatever

  I dunno, I just dunno ! P.S. I'll probably be working forever. lol


Quoting Refurbished:

I just turned 40 and feel the same thing. But I don't agree with you that it's too late to go back to school.  You've got 25 more working years left.  Might as well make it something you enjoy doing, right? 



crazymom729
by Cajun Witch (dealer) on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:37 PM
2 moms liked this

 Never to late to go back to school...Dana (owner of this group) is taking online classes..and ooooohhh she's old, knocking 50 (ROFL!!)  I'm sure she will be around early tomorrow morning if not a little later.  And I'm sure this will earn me some more time in the dungeon...haha.

Good luck, don't believe it's to late to go back, you can do it.

sahlady
by It's a jen.thing :) on Feb. 7, 2013 at 10:51 PM

First I have to lol @ you saying you are turning fourty and not afriad of death..... 40 really isnt even in the ball park of being old.  That really had me laughing.

You dont have to know exactly what you want to do, you are YOUNG!  Pick a direction and start going... you can ALWAYS change direction, the key is to keep moving.  I would suggest you go out and spend just a little money on a very pretty journal... a private journal.  You dont want in put from anyone else... this is a journal for self discovery.  

Make a list of things you are grateful for... always the best way to start.  Make a list of things that make you happy, make you smile, make you giggle.  Make a list of things you would love to do or try.  DO NOT BE REALISTIC.  If you want to be a 5'10" runway model and in real life you are 5'2" and 250lbs... that doesnt matter... write it down anyway.  If you see a photo in a magazine that makes you smile or touches you in some way, cut it out and paste it in your journal. Do this daily.

Now..... every monday morning ( I love mondays & mornings... they are full of possiblities) take a look back over your journal and see if there are any common threads.  Are there?  Does anything jump out at you because you keep writing it in there?  It may not happen right away... but I bet after a while you will see a common thread show up.  If it does, explore that... perhaps there is a way to make a career out of that thing that you like so much that it keeps sneaking into your journal.

anyway... that is my suggestion.

starlight1968
by 40ish hang out queen on Feb. 7, 2013 at 11:30 PM
1 mom liked this

 have you checked into substituting for your school district?  It may be available for you and you can see if teaching is still what you want and I bet you could ask some of the teachers for advice too.

I know what you mean about "I haven't found that "thing I'm good at" I get that way sometimes too..hugs

RubyQ
by Gold sister on Feb. 8, 2013 at 6:43 AM
1 mom liked this

 No, you didn't miss the bus. You're just taking your time getting to the station. When you arrive, the bus will still be waiting for you. After all, where will it go without its passenger? Don't race against time, it is not competeing with you. Time is only the heckler in the stands, whose purpose is to keep you from focusing on your abilities and enjoyment of life.

 Raising 4 kids is nothing to sneeze at. This in itself is a huge accomplishment, with a wealth of skills and experience to draw from. Are your children reaching an age where they're less dependent on you from moment to moment and you have periods of time to actually think? What you're feeling is normal when this stage begins. You are recognizing a different phase of life approaching. Like a child that regresses a little with each new stage, you are just a little scared about "what happens next".

 Some of the most interesting people I know had no idea what they wanted to do with their lives until after they turned forty.  This is a quote from a speech called "Don't Forget The Sunscreen" that was given to some students graduating college. You can find it on youtube. Watch it. It will give you great perspective and enthusiasm for your new direction.

 But, in the meantime, I will too, ha! First --4-0 is fabulous! You are old enough to know what's right for you and young enough to do it. You aren't sidetracked and bogged down by worrying about what other people think, because you have the experience to know that what you think is what matters. Raising kids is helpful in getting THAT one down pat, hahaha... You are more independent, financially and emotionally,  than you were at 17, and have a lot more choices of direction--there are no preconceived notions about what you 'should' be doing, or where you 'should' be going. The world is your oyster. 

  Yes, I did feel the way you are feeling. When I embraced the freedoms and strength of personal growths that 40 brought, and took care to not shackle my present to my past regrets, wonderful things began to happen. I allowed myself to be all I ever thought I could be, but had gradually put off when my focus became my children.

 I'm good at design, color, painting and creative endeavors, so I opened a small design business. With no degree to extoll my virtues. Yep! Just the positive feedback I had gotten from all the people I'd helped through the years. I had always wanted to do it, but thought there was no chance as I had not gone to school for it.  One day while reading the paper, I read a remark from the designer Lily :  "There are no rules in design, but there is balance and harmony." BING--a light went off in my head. I had a natural talent for that! And there I went. I thought, well--just as I have talent and no degree, I'm sure there are many students with no talent who are getting degrees.

 The business, although somewhat short lived, was one of the most successful things I ever did. The delight and satisfaction of my customers with my creative efforts was a great confidence boost and spurred me on to to do other things, later, without hesitations or reservations about my abilities to overcome obstacles, small and large, and be successful. The only 'mistake' I made then was starting that business a little sooner than was feasible, time wise. The creative expenditure of energy took too much time away from my kids, who were still pretty young. BUT--it taught me a lot about time management and creating a job I like with respect to my availability.

 Like Lily said: Balance and harmony. It applies to life as well. 

 So--that led me to start my current business, completely different, but which I enjoy, and which has been very successful also. And, this current business has given me enough time and expertise to start a third business in the near future. Soon, these two will allow me to go back to a more creative endeavor if I choose.

 I look back to that first business and shudder to think "what if I hadn't listened to that one single YES to myself above the cacaphony of 'NOs" and I had stayed too scared to jump in and try something? 

 Don't railroad yourself into thinking there is only one way or path to accomplish what you want to do. You are a different person than you were at 17. Let yourself utilize all the life experience garnered from then until now, instead of trying to go back to the person you were then and start over without it. The trip is not over--it's just beginning to get interesting. Pack your suitcase with your newfound freedom , independence, confidence, experience, accomplishments, and a little enthusiasm, and go board your bus.  You can watch that youtube video on your ride to your next destination!

 Here is my favorite saying that has kept me going forward--

   Success is not determined by how many times we fall down--it is determined by how many times we pick ourselves up. 

  

 

dana63
by Momma of 40ish on Feb. 8, 2013 at 7:05 AM
1 mom liked this

 Howdy!

I am 49 (50 this year) and believe it or not I am a student (gaining my PhD). I am doing it because I didnt want to go back into teaching but wanted to follow my dreams. If you want it bad enough trust me you will hop on the bus and follow them...lol..

AylinsMom
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:18 AM

LOL ! ...about the death thing...really it seems like time is ticking away. LOL P.S. I'm going to try journaling. That's a wonderful idea ! Last night I had this idea of opening a small cafe. I was just brainstorming. Of course there are cafes everywhere. lol When I was growing up there was this lady  that owned this small Greek dinor. It seemed like she ran it herself (as being cook and manager at the same time). Ah...it's just another thought for my journal. lol

Quoting sahlady:

First I have to lol @ you saying you are turning fourty and not afriad of death..... 40 really isnt even in the ball park of being old.  That really had me laughing.

You dont have to know exactly what you want to do, you are YOUNG!  Pick a direction and start going... you can ALWAYS change direction, the key is to keep moving.  I would suggest you go out and spend just a little money on a very pretty journal... a private journal.  You dont want in put from anyone else... this is a journal for self discovery.  

Make a list of things you are grateful for... always the best way to start.  Make a list of things that make you happy, make you smile, make you giggle.  Make a list of things you would love to do or try.  DO NOT BE REALISTIC.  If you want to be a 5'10" runway model and in real life you are 5'2" and 250lbs... that doesnt matter... write it down anyway.  If you see a photo in a magazine that makes you smile or touches you in some way, cut it out and paste it in your journal. Do this daily.

Now..... every monday morning ( I love mondays & mornings... they are full of possiblities) take a look back over your journal and see if there are any common threads.  Are there?  Does anything jump out at you because you keep writing it in there?  It may not happen right away... but I bet after a while you will see a common thread show up.  If it does, explore that... perhaps there is a way to make a career out of that thing that you like so much that it keeps sneaking into your journal.

anyway... that is my suggestion.



AylinsMom
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:20 AM

I was just reading somewhere yesterday that you have to have b.s. in order to be a sub anywhere but I probably should double check that. I'm 60 credits shy of a 4 year degree that I started 20 some years ago. OH LOL !

Quoting starlight1968:

 have you checked into substituting for your school district?  It may be available for you and you can see if teaching is still what you want and I bet you could ask some of the teachers for advice too.

I know what you mean about "I haven't found that "thing I'm good at" I get that way sometimes too..hugs



AylinsMom
by on Feb. 8, 2013 at 10:26 AM
1 mom liked this

Thanks for the wonderful reply ! Everything you said is so true !  I feel inspired. Thank You :) We have something in common. I always get compliments from anything artistic that I do. It's as if it's the only thing I'm a little bit good at and I get the "balance and harmony" thing !


Quoting RubyQ:

 No, you didn't miss the bus. You're just taking your time getting to the station. When you arrive, the bus will still be waiting for you. After all, where will it go without its passenger? Don't race against time, it is not competeing with you. Time is only the heckler in the stands, whose purpose is to keep you from focusing on your abilities and enjoyment of life.

 Raising 4 kids is nothing to sneeze at. This in itself is a huge accomplishment, with a wealth of skills and experience to draw from. Are your children reaching an age where they're less dependent on you from moment to moment and you have periods of time to actually think? What you're feeling is normal when this stage begins. You are recognizing a different phase of life approaching. Like a child that regresses a little with each new stage, you are just a little scared about "what happens next".

 Some of the most interesting people I know had no idea what they wanted to do with their lives until after they turned forty.  This is a quote from a speech called "Don't Forget The Sunscreen" that was given to some students graduating college. You can find it on youtube. Watch it. It will give you great perspective and enthusiasm for your new direction.

 But, in the meantime, I will too, ha! First --4-0 is fabulous! You are old enough to know what's right for you and young enough to do it. You aren't sidetracked and bogged down by worrying about what other people think, because you have the experience to know that what you think is what matters. Raising kids is helpful in getting THAT one down pat, hahaha... You are more independent, financially and emotionally,  than you were at 17, and have a lot more choices of direction--there are no preconceived notions about what you 'should' be doing, or where you 'should' be going. The world is your oyster. 

  Yes, I did feel the way you are feeling. When I embraced the freedoms and strength of personal growths that 40 brought, and took care to not shackle my present to my past regrets, wonderful things began to happen. I allowed myself to be all I ever thought I could be, but had gradually put off when my focus became my children.

 I'm good at design, color, painting and creative endeavors, so I opened a small design business. With no degree to extoll my virtues. Yep! Just the positive feedback I had gotten from all the people I'd helped through the years. I had always wanted to do it, but thought there was no chance as I had not gone to school for it.  One day while reading the paper, I read a remark from the designer Lily :  "There are no rules in design, but there is balance and harmony." BING--a light went off in my head. I had a natural talent for that! And there I went. I thought, well--just as I have talent and no degree, I'm sure there are many students with no talent who are getting degrees.

 The business, although somewhat short lived, was one of the most successful things I ever did. The delight and satisfaction of my customers with my creative efforts was a great confidence boost and spurred me on to to do other things, later, without hesitations or reservations about my abilities to overcome obstacles, small and large, and be successful. The only 'mistake' I made then was starting that business a little sooner than was feasible, time wise. The creative expenditure of energy took too much time away from my kids, who were still pretty young. BUT--it taught me a lot about time management and creating a job I like with respect to my availability.

 Like Lily said: Balance and harmony. It applies to life as well. 

 So--that led me to start my current business, completely different, but which I enjoy, and which has been very successful also. And, this current business has given me enough time and expertise to start a third business in the near future. Soon, these two will allow me to go back to a more creative endeavor if I choose.

 I look back to that first business and shudder to think "what if I hadn't listened to that one single YES to myself above the cacaphony of 'NOs" and I had stayed too scared to jump in and try something? 

 Don't railroad yourself into thinking there is only one way or path to accomplish what you want to do. You are a different person than you were at 17. Let yourself utilize all the life experience garnered from then until now, instead of trying to go back to the person you were then and start over without it. The trip is not over--it's just beginning to get interesting. Pack your suitcase with your newfound freedom , independence, confidence, experience, accomplishments, and a little enthusiasm, and go board your bus.  You can watch that youtube video on your ride to your next destination!

 Here is my favorite saying that has kept me going forward--

   Success is not determined by how many times we fall down--it is determined by how many times we pick ourselves up. 





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