DS wants Dad to go to a concert over his wedding weekend
Here's the story: My future DIL and DS are getting married in July. They plan to go on a honeymoon two days later. The night before they leave, they want to take her dad (divorced from her mom for many years) and my husband to a rock concert. We do not know her dad at all, but have heard from DS that he can be a real jerk. There is tension between him and our future DIL.
DH projected that DS wants him to go because it might defray some of the tension (keep him from acting like a jerk), having another person there. And it's something they can do with her father, although he actually lives in the same town and could do something with them at any time.
We are planning on arriving a few days in advance, and our other family members are coming in for the wedding that weekend also. DH's mother lives there and we rarely see her at all. She's 84. I want DH to spend time with everyone, not go off to a concert with just DS, DIL and her dad. It seems kind of strange.
DS says it'll just be for three hours, but that's a pile of you know what. He going to have to drive them an hour away to their hotel, where they'll spend the night, and then go to the concert, another 45 minutes away. And then drive back for an hour or more.
I'm thinking it'll take most of the day. Now it isn't like DS and DH have never been to a concert before.
Also, younger DD is inviting her new BF. We want to get to know him, as well.
So after DH and I talked about it, I said I would rather he hang out with everyone, instead of going to the concert. When I spoke with DS today (I called him about something else), he started in. What did I have against his dad going?
I told him I wanted his dad to spend time with everyone who was coming from across the country, and with his mother, who he never sees. He didn't like that. He said I was controlling him, and went on about letting his dad decide what he wanted to do for himself..
I said I think his fiancee wants him to go to help defray any tension with her dad. That's more like the truth. Well, that did it. He came unglued. My husband heard the conversation and walked out. He is pissed that I told him that.
I think DS and future DIL are basically using DH, who is a great guy and loved by his four kids, by taking him to a concert with just them and her dad, so maybe he can feel a bit less guilty for their bad relationship and lack of bonding.
I do not imagine we will ever spend any time with the guy in the future. Ever. And I really don't care to.
What's your take?