Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

A 1YEAR OLD CHILD NEEDS A FAMILY

Posted by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:52 AM
  • 22 Replies
  • 456 Total Views
1 mom liked this

I just read a letter to Dear abby.  It says the writer has a relative who is dying and has a 1 year old child.  The dying woman wants her relative to adopt the child.  The woman does not want to.  She says she is in her mid 40's and says she is fine with one and sometimes she has her hands full with one.  A child needs love and I feel really bad for the child.   What would you do?

by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:52 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
harmony7
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 8:56 AM
2 moms liked this

 We would adopt the child no questions..but then I am 53  three years ago we adopted three waiting children from foster care who needed a home. Children are a gift and a blessing and if an unexpected bundle came into our lives it would be welcomed.

Pam in Alabama
A Mom to nine sons and one daughter with five still at home
dana63
by Momma of 40ish on Mar. 31, 2013 at 9:40 AM
4 moms liked this

 The same thing I did when my D couldnt take care of my granddaughter, I step in and adopted her. She is 7 now and I will be 50.

GOBryan
by Bronze sister on Mar. 31, 2013 at 9:41 AM

I can relate. I am 46 and my youngest is 7. My 7 & 8 are Autistic. If someone wanted me to adopt a baby, I would have to decline because I don't think I would be able to give that child the care and attention it deserves, therefore, I think she's smart to recognize that about her. Sometimes, you have to be a little selfish also and acknowledge that it's not what you want for your life. I'm sure at a year old, the child will be adopted by some loving peiole. Atleast, I hope so. 

I also recognize that I'm not a child person. We started over without a thought that our kids may be special needs and we'd be able to handle them. If I would have known that both would be special needs, I may have opted to not have done it over again or may have opted to just have one. It's alot of work and it takes special people to care for them properly. That is a reality check that although it doesn't sound kind, it's fact. 

If my 20 year old would become pregnant, I'd help but I would not adopt her child. 

secondcup5
by Proud Canuck on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:42 AM
2 moms liked this

 Absolutely no questions asked I would do it.

Mariagma3
by Wild Midwest Lady on Mar. 31, 2013 at 10:58 AM

 I would do it. It may be hard, but I'd figure out a way to make it work!

looneymom424
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 11:34 AM

I would do it.  I can take care of the grandbabies I would take the baby 

Ziva65
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 11:36 AM

I probably would step in to help. We are looking at putting 4 through college shortly, run a company 24/7, I don't really love kids, and we have plans for missions and travel in our retirement, but I would probably step in to help.

There may be some conditions though- such as I may not pay for private schools as I did for mine, and we'd make some other choices just based on our life stage at this point compared to when ours were younger. If she were drug addicted or had some serious issues, I'd help her look into state care options, not me. I wouldn't put our assets on the line to take in a known problem though. In the logical reasonable sense, I may do fost/ adopt... in case the state would need to take her.

Not to sound cold, but I'd have to be objective about it.

I would do my best though.

Now if one of our kids were to have a baby, I directly see that as my responsibility, I'd adopt or do whatever is needed.

lovegrandbaby
by Bronze sister on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:16 PM
1 mom liked this

I would definately adopt the child.  I would worry what happened if a stranger adopted him/her.  I adopted my oldest grandchild - he will be 14 in a couple of months, has some issues, but we love him no matter what.  I will be 57 this yr and my dh is 63.  I would do it again, no questions asked.

starlight1968
by 40ish hang out queen on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:19 PM
1 mom liked this

 that is sad but at least the person told her now then wait, take the child and it be neglected or somthing.  Poor little thing...

I would love to do it if it was me...

wildlilacs
by Bronze sister on Mar. 31, 2013 at 12:26 PM
1 mom liked this
I kinda understand her position. Im down to one child at home, age 13. Im content with just her. We can go places and do things. Add a grandchild, that would limit us financially.
However, I would make that sacrifice.
The article didnt say if there were other family members around to take the child. If so, then her dh csn be involved in childs life.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)