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Wish I could make things all better so our sex life would come back!

Posted by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 7:37 PM
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Ok...Long story short....My husband is disabled military and has had 3 lower back surgeries.  We went yesterday to see his surgeon for his 4 month check because my husband has been having pain that comes and goes but will last for a day or two.  This pain causes him to be sick to his stomach and he stays in bed all day.  The Dr. said that it is his muscles needing to be retrained and strengthened.  I get that and so does my husband.  But, he is all talk and no action.  Why can't he push through the pain like I do?  I just had a huge abdominal surgery that included removal of my ovaries and a new bladder sling, coming up on 6 weeks ago and I have had to do things I wasn't supposed to do.  Like taking care of kids and the house and the pets.  Sorry I'm just frusterated....

by on Apr. 26, 2013 at 7:37 PM
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Replies (1-9):
by Momma of 40ish on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:19 PM
You are right as woman we can't stop to take a break but they do. Talk to him and express your concerns.
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by Goddess Johnnie on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:22 PM

Maybe exercise or help him with his physical therapy to get him motivated??  Even a little bit of a therapy and movement is better than nothing!  

Keep us updated, hon!

by Red Room Rebel on Apr. 26, 2013 at 8:22 PM

Momma's right. Just talk to him. 

Do you have home therapy coming to get him up and moving?

by 40ish hang out queen on Apr. 26, 2013 at 9:52 PM

 I agree with talking to him.. maybe do a workout together too?

by Bronze sister on Apr. 26, 2013 at 10:45 PM

I'm so sorry Momma!!  Hang in there, but you do need to take care of yourself, and not reinjure your surgical areas.  Hugs to you!


by Sister on Apr. 27, 2013 at 4:01 PM

Thanks for the advice...He is waiting for a call to schedule PT.  I just hope he doesn't say it hurts to much.  For heavens sake he was a SGT in the Army....He knows what it is like to work thru pain.  Now he tells me that behind his knee is hurting...He has a artificial hip that is coming on 15 years old, so now is this pain referred from the hip.  Next week he will have to call his hip guy and have that checked out I guess....

Boy it doesn't seem to ever get easier.

by Sue on Apr. 27, 2013 at 6:24 PM
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Men tend to be bigger babies as far as illness goes. Continue to express to him your desire and hopefully he will feel up to it as much as you do or at least want to satisfy your needs as your lifetime partner. *fingers crossed for you*

by Anne on Apr. 27, 2013 at 8:21 PM

 welcome to the group and thoughts and prayer for a speedy recovery for the both of you

by Sister on Apr. 27, 2013 at 9:46 PM
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I am sorry!
My DH got crap for help from VA. They are awesome-at first and then they just plain suck.

I will highly suggest trying Arnica Montana for your husband It's made a HUGE difference in pain issues with my husband. We have the tablets as well as the cream/gel. He takes the tablets and I rub on the gel when he starts to have pain issues. Within about 1/2 hour he is DEFINITELY visibly better. I know when his back is hurting just by touching it-it will be hard/tense and HOT to the touch. Within that half hour the temp will have gone down considerably and the tension starts to disappear.
We also use Dr. Christopher's Complete Bone and Tissue formula. He takes the capsules and we use the rub and massage oil. I am downright shocked at the help it has been. We have major lower back issues as well as leg issues. VA's answer was just "quit your job" or throw more surgery out there or more drugs that were robbing him of his life.

Honestly, I can't say enough good things about the Arnica or the Dr. Christophers. We've only been using Dr. Christophers for about 3 weeks now (I think?) and it's something they say you have to be using for a couple of months first. Well, I can tell you that we DO see a marked difference in 3 weeks time. I am dying to see how much improvement we see after a couple of months! 

ETA: I forgot to add that both are all natural homeopathics

When you get his back under control try the book The Love Dare. FANTASTIC for a lagging marriage!

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