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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

Am I being too sensitive?

Posted by on May. 1, 2013 at 5:15 PM
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I'm trying to figure out if I'm being unreasonable or if my husbands being a jerk. I have 4 kids (3 are from my previous marriage). I've been married for
2 1/2 yrs and we have an adorable 1 yr old together. It's my oldest child's birthday on Sunday; she'll be 15. I've been reminding my husband for some time that I have to buy her gift. She asked me for a handbag that's $190.00.
Given that she rarely asks for anything and is such a great kid I said yes. My husband asked me AGAIN how much the bag was (even though he knew), when I told him again what the price was his reply was;
"so is this how much it's going to cost for all 3 of them for their birthdays"?
Instead of blowing my lid; I very calmly grabbed my young son, wished him a good day, said bye and left. Am I right to be offended by his comment?
by on May. 1, 2013 at 5:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
dballa
by Sister on May. 1, 2013 at 5:18 PM

I wouldn't be offended by the comment but I don't get offended easily. I'm snarky so I'd have said something sarcastic right back to him. 

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 1, 2013 at 5:20 PM
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If you can't afford $200 per kid do not. If you have no debt and can afford it, go for it. I can see his comment if you can't afford it.
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ALolies
by Red Room Rebel on May. 1, 2013 at 5:22 PM
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I don't know your personal situation, but my hubby never made any difference in our children. My DD has a different sperm donar. But my hubby never treated her any different from our DS... They are both our children and have always been treated as such...

Y'all are a family, and it shouldn't be "yours" and "yours&his". Y'all have 4 children. He knew this when he married you... Just my opinion...

Good luck to you Sweetie... And go get that handbag for DD!!!

MamaSnaps
by Sister on May. 1, 2013 at 5:40 PM

I think his question is reasonable. You don't spoil one for their birthday with extravagance and not the others.  

A $190 bag for a 15 year old is wayyyyyy over the top. I am all for spending big on birthdays and I do somewhere from a couple hundred to  $500-but I don't do big for Christmas-we do one gift and charity projects for Christmas. With 4 of my own children, 2 fosters and 2 grand babies it makes more sense to spend big at each birthday instead of all at Christmas Time. However, none of them will be getting a $200 bag/purse whatever. That's insanity.  

sahlady
by It's a jen.thing :) on May. 1, 2013 at 5:45 PM
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well, he should have said all 4... but being that the 4 yr old is too young it probably didnt occur to him to add that child in.  

It IS a very expensive handbag for a 15 yr old.... I LOVE my purses but dont think i would spend that on a 15 yr old who would more than likely toss around her handbag just like she would her school back pack.  I think it was more about the price for the gift rather than the price for YOUR child.

I think things like this need to be discussed well in advance, no matter if the child is biologically related to both parents or a step child to one parent.

sahlady
by It's a jen.thing :) on May. 1, 2013 at 5:47 PM

i agree with this.  $800 yr on gifts,  not to mention parties, if you can swing it for all.... then okie dokie.

Quoting atlmom2:

If you can't afford $200 per kid do not. If you have no debt and can afford it, go for it. I can see his comment if you can't afford it.


Mariagma3
by Wild Midwest Lady on May. 1, 2013 at 6:19 PM

 IMO, $190.00 is way too much for a purse! She likes it now, she'll probably throw it around in 2 weeks!

atlmom2
by Susie on May. 1, 2013 at 6:26 PM
15 yo, too much for a purse.
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sunflower37
by Lee Lee on May. 1, 2013 at 6:29 PM

I don't think he meant to be insensitive. He probably can't believe you're going to pay $190.00 on a purse that's why he asked you how much it cost a second time.

rojastarr
by Fang Slayer on May. 1, 2013 at 6:48 PM

I am generous with gifts but I truly think that $190 for a purse for a 15 y/o is way too much. Can you find a similar style for a much reduced cost? Unfortunately, teens lose interest very quickly and you will cringe when you find that purse thrown into a corner of her room.

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