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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

Ovarian Cancer Sucks!!

Posted by on May. 3, 2013 at 11:18 AM
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My mother (age 69) was diagnosed on March 9th and had a full hysterectomy on March 10th.  The cancer also affected her appendix and part of her intestine, which were also removed.  There was small spots left on her stomach that they could not remove so she has been doing chemo. 

My mom weighed 103 before the cancer.  She started feeling sick in early February.  First she thought it was the flu and then she got bounced from two smaller hospitals that were treating her for gastro issues.  Finally they found the tumor and transferred her to the 3rd hospital that could do the cancer surgery.  So.. in the meantime, she lost 10lbs. 

She is scheduled to do 6 chemo sessions, every 3 weeks.  After the first session, all was going well until about a week later.  He intestine became blocked and she spent 10 days in the hospital.  My brother flew home to see her for a few days because the docs didn't think she would survive surgery.  Luckily, prayers were answered, the blockage went away on its own... no surgery needed.

She had to have a blood transfusion before he 2nd session of chemo.  A week later, she went out to eat with my dad and did a little shopping.  And then she got sick again.  She has been losing weight.  I really don't think she even weighs 80 lbs.  She is too weak to walk.  She would only eat fruit... and a little Ensure?  I made some salmon patties, tuna salad, peanut butter sandwiches for extra protein.  She fusses at the tuna salad because of the mayo?  She said the peanut butter sandwiches have too much peanut butter.

Before I was born, my mom was pretty heavy but then she lost the weight... and has been too skinny ever since I can remember.  She was always telling me I was going to be fat because of the way I eat.  I'm sorry... I love food.  So far, my metabolism has been on my side but it isn't because I watch what I eat. I'm far from being too skinny but it doesn't bother me. I am not active enough for my mom... she walks 5-9 miles x 5 times a week.  I always thought she was too obsessed over her weight, so it probably made me rebel and not worry as much?  Well... now, I think she has it in her head that she will get fat if she eats the mayo or peanut butter.  She is upset because she can't walk or lift weights.  The skin hangs from her bones?  I really don't know what to do.

I really feel so sorry for my dad.  I have been trying to help out as much as I can.  He asked me to come over before work this morning and try to talk some sense in her.  I threatened to call 911 but she doesn't want to go back to the hospital, which I understand.  We almost lost her a month ago.  I think the IV's would help her out so much but dad wants to stand behind her wishes?


by on May. 3, 2013 at 11:18 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BL2010
by BL on May. 3, 2013 at 11:31 AM

{{{{{HUGS}}}}} I'm sorry.

Mariagma3
by Wild Midwest Lady on May. 3, 2013 at 11:39 AM

 I'm so sorry your Mom is this ill. Hugs and prayers to your family!!

Ziva65
by on May. 3, 2013 at 11:55 AM

It's hard. Chemo is hard on a body. Plus, there could be a huge element of depression here. I have a friend in a similar situation. Certain foods nauseate her at the thought- even before her illness she was concerned about her cholesterol, and she was very careful about what she ate. Her kids are all really small, and she is underweight. She never fed her kids milk because she was concerned about their future cholesterol and their weight- showing her studies ont eh benefits didn't matter.

I have a few thoughts-

1) maybe consider an element of depression. They could give her something if she is willing.

2) If she is nauseated, or has no appetite- that too can be dealt with. Many times, the effects from chemo are dealt with by giving more drugs. If someone wants the treatment- the side effects come with it. She can have things for nausea, and even appetite stimulants such as Megace.

3) It sounds like she has all her wishes outlined. those need to be honored. You can discuss them, but can't be forced.

4) Just support her, get her counseling or a support group if you can. Sometimes they have these through the oncology office or through the hospitals. That may be helpful. She may be more comfortable talking with those who are in her situation, than her spouse or daughter. My friend prefers to talk with other people in her same condition- "you don't understand" I get all the time.

Now I don't offer suggestions, as they never are well received. I just listen, and be supportive. Even if I totally disagree with her, I still try to support it.

Sorry you are going through that.

SeanandNoahsmom
by Manning Fan on May. 3, 2013 at 11:57 AM
2 moms liked this

 I am so sorry; cancer does really suck. If your mom cannot really eat, she may benefit from a feeding while undergoing chemo; but as long as she is of sound mind, she has to make that choice. Big hugs to you; I know it must be so hard to watch. Sending positive thoughts and prayers your way for her recovery.

GoddessJohnnie
by Goddess Johnnie on May. 4, 2013 at 1:01 PM

So sorry to hear about your mom's cancer - that truly does suck.  

As for her weight and diet, maybe you could make alternative foods.  Instead of tuna salad with mayo, how about just flaked tuna, no dressing, over sliced tomatoes?  Or maybe seared ahi tuna?  Try a few slices of mozzerella cheese or a little cottage cheese with a fruit plate.  And let her snack on dry roasted, unsalted almonds and have boiled eggs handy for snacking too.

Good luck! 

ALolies
by Red Room Rebel on May. 4, 2013 at 1:39 PM

Hugz and prayers for you and your family...

Destiny846
by on May. 4, 2013 at 4:10 PM

hugs

looneymom424
by on May. 4, 2013 at 4:15 PM

My sisters became my parents power of atterny after they both got sick I would ask your dad to consider doing that so she can get the care she needs she may not realize she needs more care.

dmorris14
by Sister on May. 6, 2013 at 8:56 AM

My mother told my brother that she was afraid of getting fat since they put her on steroids.  I figured that is why shouldn't wouldn't eat anything fattening.  Even when she weighed 103, she thought she was fat?  Now she weighs 80 and still concerned?

I didn't even think about depression?  She had issues with it during menopause and took meds which helped.  The depression was obvious this weekend, plus she was having some bad pain at her ribs.  It has been bothering her since Wednesday but enough was enough this morning, she asked my dad to call squad. Her oxygen level was low again and when they gave her oxygen, the pain went away. Her levels in during her last hospital stay were 50 at one point... she had pneunonia.

They are checking her out... so we waiting to hear from the doctors.  Prayers please!!!

On a good note, she did eat better this weekend.  She drank 2 cans of Ensure yesterday morning.  Normally it was taking her all day to finish one.  I made salmon patties... and she liked them. 

daisybelle1960
by on May. 6, 2013 at 9:49 AM
1 mom liked this
It sounds like she had a good weekend. Maybe this is the start of a new trend. Hoping it's a good week for you all.
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