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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

Taking a step away from siblings.

Posted by on May. 22, 2013 at 4:51 PM
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I am the youngest of 4 siblings, and I will be 50 this year! So I am by no means a child.  But for my brother, who is 9 years older than I am, I will always be 12.  My parents have both passed away, and we have kept their home. It is 2 blocks from the beach at the Jersey shore, so it is not something any of us what to let go of.  My sister, who lives 3 hours away uses it and my older neices too. I live here so I don't "need a beach house".  But I take care of all the bills and such. We all do what needs to be done. I feel like I do a  lot, being the one that lives here and all, and well, because I kinda do! My brother seems to think his voice should be louder than mine or my sisters.  We had words last month and things are "cool" between us. I feel the need to step away from family for a bit. But it will be hard since summer is around the corner and someone will be at the house most weekends.  That is way we have kept the house and things are working out ok. But I am tired of having to deal with everything and everyone. I know that if I am not around when my family gets together it will raise questions, but I think I just need a break from them.

Anyone else ever felt like this? Is just some space and keeping conversations light, not house related, the way to go? I feel like it is.

by on May. 22, 2013 at 4:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ALolies
by Red Room Rebel on May. 22, 2013 at 4:55 PM

My sister and I talk only a few times a year. We text somewhat frequently, but just a quick hey how are ya thing. That is the only way we can remotely get along... I am 9 years older than she is... And live an entirely different lifestyle...

Lovemyshadows
by Bronze sister on May. 22, 2013 at 5:19 PM
1 mom liked this

It is quite reasonable to limit conversation.  We can discuss the house at a later time, for now let's just think about a relaxing day.

Mariagma3
by Wild Midwest Lady on May. 22, 2013 at 5:27 PM
1 mom liked this

 You've got to do what feel right for you. I am the oldest of 5 and my one brother and I never really talk or text. He's always been kind of snooty, and possibly looked down his nose at me. All the rest of us get along pretty well, though. When stuff gets heated, I do step back. Just take all the time away from them that you need!

wishbearmom
by Ruby sister on May. 22, 2013 at 6:03 PM
1 mom liked this

Keeping it light sounds like a good idea. There are certain subjects I avoid around my sister, because as much as I love her, I never know what's going to set her off.

daisybelle1960
by on May. 22, 2013 at 6:18 PM
1 mom liked this
Yeah, It sounds like you have it figured out. Do what's best for you.
maryg38
by Sweet Mary <3 on May. 22, 2013 at 6:28 PM
I'm the oldest of three.... I understand that you need to step away. My brother and I had a falling out over something stupid. Your brother might think he has the bigger voice but you my friend have the bigger heart!

Make light conversations with him and all should be well
1squishysmom
by Silver sister on May. 22, 2013 at 6:32 PM

I'm an only child, so I don't have to deal with siblings. I take care of mom and her things myself.

hau_siyoka
by Doll Baby on May. 22, 2013 at 7:41 PM

I am the oldest of the....i was the golden child locked up at great grandmothers knee...my brother 3 years younger was the little prince....he could do no wrong....my grandpa and dad would have fights over him lol....then our sister came along 13 years later and we got one of the first generation X in the family....Our brother passed of a massive heart attack...he did have a quad bypass and it did give him time to see his children grow....

My old school ways and the wreckless Generation X does not fair well but she will do her best to confuse the issues and has to live with it....I don't lol So my children are much easier to deal with lol

looneymom424
by on May. 22, 2013 at 7:44 PM

I am the middle child I never discuss my parents health with them except when they are really serious I dont understand that stuff.  They handle all the bills and such also.  I live too far away to do it.


I say step back if they say something tell them you needed a small break that house brings up too many memories for you

starlight1968
by 40ish hang out queen on May. 22, 2013 at 9:38 PM

 I completely get it and do what you feel is best for YOU... 

My sisters and I right now have not spoke for nearly 6 months... I never really got along w/the younger (she's 16yrs younger than me) and the middle one and I were close as kids but are sooo different now it's hard to get along...

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