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Really? He Couldn't Man Up and Spare A Couple Of Hours?

Posted by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:13 AM
Sue
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I had friends from out of town coming Saturday; Kurt was here too, so we planned a BBQ and invited Rachel and her new beau to join us. Rachel came, but she said she couldn't talk the bf into coming. He made plans to spend "bro" time with a friend. The bbq was at 4. Rach wasn't thrilled with his choice either. Come on. They've been seeing each other for a couple of months, and I've met him for like 5 minutes. I think it was rude that he couldn't at least show up for an hour or 2 and then excuse himself to hang out with his friend. Am I ever going to get to know this guy?!!
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:13 AM
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Replies (1-10):
babynurse454
by Wild Woman on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:20 AM
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If this guy wanted to make a good impression on you, he is not going about the right way! He should of made time to spend at least a hour or more with all of you and then politely excused himself saying he had made other plans. Im a stickler for things like that when our 2 older d.d.'s were dating!!! Maybe you should invite just the 2 of them over for dinner and see if he accepts the invite???
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ALolies
by Red Room Rebel on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:25 AM
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Kinda sounds like he doesn't want to get to know you. I find it very strange and disturbing. Maybe he will come around soon.... Hugz!

mrgetinold
by Nana on Jun. 17, 2013 at 10:39 AM
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How old is this bf? Maybe he hasnt got to the point where you do gor your s/o family because your so cares for them and youqant to make a good impression! Or maybe he wasnt brought up to see this! Maybe this bro time is more imporatant to him! Sorry, sweetie hope the rest of your bbq went well! Hugs
hopealways4019
by Bronze sister on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:07 AM
How old is everyone?
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wishbearmom
by Sue on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:56 AM
DD is 24; her bf is 26.
Quoting hopealways4019:

How old is everyone?
wishbearmom
by Sue on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:57 AM
I will try again using this approach. I hope he doesn't blow off the invitation again.
Quoting babynurse454:

If this guy wanted to make a good impression on you, he is not going about the right way! He should of made time to spend at least a hour or more with all of you and then politely excused himself saying he had made other plans. Im a stickler for things like that when our 2 older d.d.'s were dating!!! Maybe you should invite just the 2 of them over for dinner and see if he accepts the invite???
starlight1968
by 40ish hang out queen on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:58 AM
1 mom liked this

 hugs and I agree that was lame...

MomofBoys838
by Bronze sister on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:59 AM
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I wonder if he might be really shy, and nervous about spending some time.  We have the opposite problem....my son's girlfriend has 'abandonment issues' (his words), and she comes over EVERY time he does.  Sometimes we just want to hang out with ds, since she kind of takes over every conversation and lets it drag on LOOOOONG after we have moved on to another conversation.

ladybugMarie

AndrewsMomPDX
by Christine on Jun. 17, 2013 at 2:52 PM
2 moms liked this

I would think that he's not that committed to the relationship. Only time will tell, but he may not be worth you investing any time in.

wishbearmom
by Sue on Jun. 17, 2013 at 3:31 PM
She seems totally smitten with him, and the little time he spent here he seemed smitten with her as well. I think her decision to move out of my house and into her own place was so her relationship with him could be more private (aka if she wanted to sleep over mom wouldn't worry/judge - not that I would, but I remember being young once). Still, even Rach seemed annoyed that he wanted to play video games and go out for drinks with his bud instead of coming over for a little while. I absolutely would not have held them hostage. They could have come as a couple and left after dinner. Maybe he didn't get that. Maybe his family dynamic is different. IDK. I don't give my grown kids the third degree, and I don't force anything. But...Rach came but seemed perturbed that her bf couldn't spare a couple of hours. Apparently the blind love period may be waning? If this relationship is going to work, they BOTH need to see each other for who they truly are and not for who they want the other to be. I made the mistake of marrying a man I thought I knew, but we never lived in the same town, so he was great at playing quiet, pious guy who was devoted to his family. Little did I know that his parents were his circle of friends and his priority above me and later his own children.
Quoting AndrewsMomPDX:

I would think that he's not that committed to the relationship. Only time will tell, but he may not be worth you investing any time in.

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