Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

I'm at the end of my rope!

Posted by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:10 AM
  • 15 Replies
  • 336 Total Views

Update: My dh is away this week (it's been in the works for 2 years and he is unable to cancel). My father has been taken off regular food to pureed and all medications have been stopped.  On top of that my mom asked if dh would be a pall bearer.  I asked him and he declined.  He feels that he cannot physically nor mentally do it. I understand that but just once some help would be nice.  As for asking his mother myself...she and I do not get along.  She butts her nose into every aspect of our business whether asked or not.  She is the reason for most of our arguments not related to money.

My father is terminally ill. He's been fighting stage 4 glioblastoma (brain cancer). I've done a very good job of holding it together. I'm starting to lose it tho. My brother visits, helps my mom with the yard etc. whenever he shows up my sister in law is in tow. Whenever I go to anything from hospice meetings, funeral arrangements etc my dh doesn't go. I'm frustrated an feel like he's being as ass. Yes, I know our boys are younger but his mom (who lives next door) could watch them for a couple hours do I don't have to handle this on my own all the time. Am I over reacting?

by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:10 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Carmen66
by Hot Latina on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:13 AM

Good morning, sorry for what you are going through. No, you are not over reacting he needs to be there for you. This is a time that you need him 100%, speak to him and let him know that he has to be your rock in this time of need. I will be praying for your strength.

Brooklynchic
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:15 AM
1 mom liked this

 GOOD MORNING JAXX.. NO YOUR NOT OVERREACTING..  YOUR ONLY ONE PERSON, AND SOMEONE SHOULD BE HELPING YOU.. THIS IS A VERY EMOTIONAL TIME FOR YOU AND YOU NEED ALL THE SUPPORT YOU CAN GET.... I WOULD TALK TO YOUR FAMILY AND LET THEM HAVE IT.....  (((HUGS)))hugs

dana63
by Momma of 40ish on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:27 AM

 I am sorry for what your going my through.. Keeping your family in my thoughts and prayers...

I dont think you are over reacting I think you need someone to lean on and to support you while your going through this.. Hugs

Fayanne
by Fay on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:32 AM
1 mom liked this

 No one would think you are overreacting, you're in a very stressful situation.

Have you come right out and told your dh you need his help? sometimes we expect men to see the obvious, and they just can't or won't

hugs.

BL2010
by Just Me on Jul. 12, 2013 at 8:37 AM

I am so sorry for what you're going through. Have you tried talking to your dh and letting him know how much this is getting to you?

babynurse454
by Wild Woman on Jul. 12, 2013 at 11:01 AM
Im so sorry, I lost my.dad 5 years ago to cancer.
You are not over reacting, you need your dh right now, can you sit down.and have a long talk with him? You can't and shouldn't be doing this without his support and help!
Hugs
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
looneymom424
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 11:37 AM

Sorry you have to do this alone...I think my hubby would do the same some people just dont like doing stuff like that but he needs to be your support system.  If you have to yell to get his attention then do it.  

ALolies
by Red Room Rebel on Jul. 12, 2013 at 11:42 AM

You are not over reacting at all. You need help and support throguh this.

Talk to your hubby. Tell him you need him to be there with you and for you. He may feel as if he is helping by taking care of the kids while you do what has to be done. Some men just don't deal well with these situations and don't know what we want them to do. We have to tell them step by step waht we expect from them.

sallymaggie
by on Jul. 12, 2013 at 11:53 AM

So sorry for what you are dealing with. He should be helping you through it, are your dad and him close? maybe it's really hard on him too? 

jmlmomma
by Momma's new BFF on Jul. 12, 2013 at 1:09 PM

I lost my mom 6 years ago from GBM IV (same cancer) .... I HAVE been in your shoes...I took care of my mom's affairs before and after she passed away. I had a lot of help taking care of HER but her house hold had to handled and her health care see to...it was all on me... My husband was trying to keep our business going and our house hold..My mom use to work FOR us so we were having to fill her shoes at home and work... It wasn't easy. His mom also went through breast cancer during the time my mom was fighting her cancer...in fact he was away in Tenn, (were in Florida) the day my mom passed away because his mom needed him, she had just had a double mastectomy... 

I'm very sorry your having to go through this...but please remember you guys have to stick together... try not to take it out on him.. maybe talking to him would help?? not sure... Just know the pain your feeling is due to your fathers illness... 

My mom fought for 17 months... it's a long hard battle... I have a friend who's husband fought it for 8 years... so so sad...

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)