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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

I've decided that I don't want to grow up anymore

Posted by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 11:19 PM
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And I don't want to "put on my big girl panties & deal with it." I want to build a fort under a table with blankets, pillows, popcorn & M&M's & not come out. We got Mom moved to her new apartment today & it about killed me. She'll be happy there-my aunt is there, her place is nice & she likes it, there are people there to take care of her & to have fun with-people her age. 

But there will never be Sunday dinners in her kitchen, popcorn movie nights in her living room with Dad laying on his belly in front of the tv, usually with a grandchild laying on top o him, no more Mom sitting on the front porch swing to greet you. No more backyard bbq's. I can no longer escape to my parent's house & hide in my childhood bed when things get too crazy. There will be strangers sittiing on the swing, having bbq's on the back deck. There will be new people clothes hanging in the closets where, until last Saturday my Dad's suits & Mom's dresses hung. 

My name is Lisa & my Dad is dead & within a year my Mom probably won't be able to remember my name. I hate being a grown up.


by on Jul. 21, 2013 at 11:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
starlight1968
by 40ish hang out queen on Jul. 21, 2013 at 11:44 PM
1 mom liked this

 HUGS... I know what you mean in a way.. My Nana is now in a home that can care for her so now I can no longer go over and watch Price is Right and Jeopardy-trying to beat her (she keeps score) while we share a can of coke and some popcorn.  Talk about life without worrying if someone is listening in (she has to share a room). etc....  I can't even go back to the house we all lived in at one time as the jerk that bought it tore it down(-my great grandfather built it with his own hands) and built condos on the land.... 

Hubby let's me moan/cry about it now and then but it makes me want to curl up and pout...

Hugs

rosebud727
by Mac Goddess on Jul. 22, 2013 at 12:02 AM
1 mom liked this

I'm so sorry, (((Huge Hugs)))

jak3739
by on Jul. 22, 2013 at 12:06 AM
1 mom liked this

I can understand.  My mom has brain cancer and about 18 months after she was diagnosed, my father died unexpectedly.  My mom is still here but not the same person.  The brain damage has left like more of a child than a parent and her personality is completely different.  Plus she is very depressed so its not like we can even have a conversation.  She is wheelchair bound and completely dependent. While she is still in our childhood home, we have strangers living there and coming in and out just to care for her.  It will never be home again and sometimes i really with I could just go home and be a kid again.

looneymom424
by on Jul. 22, 2013 at 12:36 AM
1 mom liked this

I know the feeling my dad is at my sisters and my mom is in a nursing home she has Alzhemeirs...Hugs it doesnt feel the same to visit them anymore either.

RoseWall
by RoseWall on Jul. 22, 2013 at 1:00 AM
1 mom liked this

hugs

babynurse454
by Wild Woman on Jul. 22, 2013 at 9:58 AM
1 mom liked this
Im so sorry, hold on tight to your memories and pictures of your family. My dad passed away 5 years ago and each day i think of my wonderful daddy. HUGS
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wishbearmom
by Ruby sister on Jul. 22, 2013 at 10:05 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh Lisa, I am so sorry!! Growing up really does suck! I lost both of my parents, and it's not something you just get over. ((HUGS!!)) We are here whenever you need to vent, talk, cry it out...

~Sue

Maida265
by Spanking the Monkey on Jul. 22, 2013 at 10:06 AM
1 mom liked this

 This made me get very teary eyed. ((hugs)) It is hard when things like this happen. I don't know if I'm fortunate NOT to have had any real relationship with my parents and longed for it all my life...or unfortunate because I seem to have missed out on exactly what you mention.

 

mjgm1966
by Bronze sister on Jul. 22, 2013 at 10:22 AM
1 mom liked this

 I'm sorry.  I can totally relate.  My dad passed years ago.  And my mom passed about three years ago.  I would still go sit on her front porch every time I went back home.  Sometimes, while it was raining or sleeting.  I'd wrap in a blanket, sit on her front porch and just feel her.  Me and the silence around me.  Can't do that anymore.  Saddens me to this day.

sahlady
by It's a jen.thing :) on Jul. 22, 2013 at 10:24 AM
1 mom liked this

(((( hugs ))))

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