I've decided that I don't want to grow up anymore
And I don't want to "put on my big girl panties & deal with it." I want to build a fort under a table with blankets, pillows, popcorn & M&M's & not come out. We got Mom moved to her new apartment today & it about killed me. She'll be happy there-my aunt is there, her place is nice & she likes it, there are people there to take care of her & to have fun with-people her age.
But there will never be Sunday dinners in her kitchen, popcorn movie nights in her living room with Dad laying on his belly in front of the tv, usually with a grandchild laying on top o him, no more Mom sitting on the front porch swing to greet you. No more backyard bbq's. I can no longer escape to my parent's house & hide in my childhood bed when things get too crazy. There will be strangers sittiing on the swing, having bbq's on the back deck. There will be new people clothes hanging in the closets where, until last Saturday my Dad's suits & Mom's dresses hung.
My name is Lisa & my Dad is dead & within a year my Mom probably won't be able to remember my name. I hate being a grown up.