My son is 17. I know hate is a strong word and I really don't want to use that word, but right now it is what I am feeling about his girlfriend. The real feeling should be extreme concern. She is also 17, almost 18. She was adopted, but her adoptive parents kicked her out. Than another family not even related took her in, took her to Hawaii, bought her an iphone and generally spoiled her. She was also kicked out of there. Now she is in a group home. I don't know the details of why she was kicked out because she also lies and thinks it is always someone else's fault so I don't know what to believe. She gets in trouble quite a bit in the group home as well. She is very, very bold. She will argue with anyone and everyone including myself. She has tried to "friend" us and we have tried as much as we could, but have just reached the end of our tolerance.
She calls and texts my son NONSTOP. Even while we were on vacation, at a funeral, wherever we are. She is extremely obsessive. We sent our son away for a weekend to a retreat where he did not have access to a computer or phone and she went crazy. She called me at least a dozen times, my husband, my other son and my daughter because she said she really, really needed to get ahold of our son. He pays for his phone and he is going away to college in a few days so I can only do so much. She is basically the "stalker" type and very possessive as well as obsessive not to mention downright crazy.
The bottom line is. I don't want to ruin our relationship with our son, but he is so hooked on this girl that it is interfering with our relationship. We've had many, many talks and he even admits she is crazy and has a lot of issues, but yet won't break up with her. Should we learn to accept her because we love our son? What does "accepting" her look like? I don't want to lose our son, but of course he'd drop us like an old rag for her anyday. Once they are both 18 they can of course do what they want, but as long as he is a minor I just can't promote the relationship. What do you think?