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At what age, or is it even an option?

Posted by on Sep. 11, 2013 at 7:41 AM
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My 11 year old son is in 6th grade, and like me, he has a cleft chin.  A dimple right smack in the middle of the chin.  But my son's chin is mis-shapen, with one side of the cleft visibly larger than the other.  Lots of kids in his class at school pick on him and make fun of his chin.  I keep hoping that the smaller side will catch up to the larger one, but so far they seem to be staying the same.  He cries a lot at night about the kids' picking on him, which breaks my heart.  But I don't know what to do for him, other than to keep telling him that it's what's inside him that matters, not what's outside, and that kids can be mean, and he needs to remember that we, his family, love him for who he is and that we feel he's close to perfect the way he is, and so does God.  But in the back of my mind I can't help but wonder if surgery to reshape his chin is an option.  I'm sure, if it is, that it would need to be after he's fully grown, but should I even consider surgery, or should I focus on helping him accept himself the way he is?  And even if I get him to do that, that won't stop the other kids from picking on him, and that worries me too...  Any suggestions ladies?  Thanks so much for taking the time to read my dilemma.

by on Sep. 11, 2013 at 7:41 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Maida265
by Stiletto on Sep. 11, 2013 at 7:53 AM
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As a mother I would consider looking into surgery. He's at a very important stage in his life where first impressions are important. These moments (the teasing) could also affect how he views himself down the road. I'm sure he's a wonderful young man with a lot to offer but if this is holding him back and it's affecting him this much...then I'd definitely be looking into helping him.

rosiemendo
by Silver sister on Sep. 11, 2013 at 7:55 AM

I would sit down and have a long talk with him, once again reassuring him that it's what's inside that counts.  But I think I'd maybe explain to him the dilemma you are facing and ask his opinion on it.  Suggest that when he is fully grown, you will (if he agrees) explore the possibility of surgery.  In the meantime, I would consult not only the pediatrician, but also a counselor or professional you could see together to find an acceptable solution to the problem.  As for the bullies, I would sit down with the school principal and talk to him/her about the dilemma, too.  I have a unique voice.  When I was a kid, I always got "what's the matteer with your voice?"  Eventually I just answered, "What's the matter with yours?"  Good luck to both of you.

Brooklynchic
by on Sep. 11, 2013 at 8:14 AM
1 mom liked this

i agree with vicky   if your son didnt give a crap about what others say,then it would be great. but your son is so sad about it i would just look into it.without saying anything to him .  consult with a surgeon and see what the options are.. some kids have thicker skin than others.i know for both my sons it would bother them.. good luck momma.. if the teasing gets so bad i would also have a nice chat with either the teacher or principal...     hate these darn bullys !!

AndrewsMomPDX
by Christine on Sep. 11, 2013 at 8:42 AM
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I agree with the other moms about consulting a surgeon and in the mean time just keep doing what you're doing. I hate that kids can be so mean and remember being picked on for being taller than most kids until middle school. What was once a flaw turned into something I really like about myself, but back then I just wanted to be of those petite girls that wasn't in the cards for me.

BL2010
by BL on Sep. 11, 2013 at 9:02 AM

Have you talked to his pediatrican about it?

bergencounty
by Silver Sister - lp on Sep. 11, 2013 at 9:14 AM
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 My friend's son had a cleft palate, she went for a consult w/Mayo clinic. Surgery was done, but it's been years, so I don't remeber where. Here is the Mayo clinic site: http://www.mayoclinic.org/cleft-craniofacial-clinic-rst/, perhaps they can lead you in the right direction.

Mariagma3
by Wild Midwest Lady on Sep. 11, 2013 at 9:20 AM
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 I would have a consult with a surgeon. Good luck to you and him!

starlight1968
by 40ish hang out queen on Sep. 11, 2013 at 9:24 AM
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 lots of good advice here already...HUGS

sahlady
by It's a jen.thing :) on Sep. 11, 2013 at 6:13 PM

 i have no issue with plastic surgery in cases like this.... but I would be surprised if they did anything prior to puberty.  I would think they would want to see him after he is fully grown.  BUT making a call is harmless enough.  Get the info.

wildchild.com
by LIttle Doll on Sep. 11, 2013 at 6:46 PM
Hugs mama! Hate those bullies!
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