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Married, but feeling like a single Mom!!!!

Posted by on Oct. 15, 2013 at 8:44 PM
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So I have been working with the school where my youngest daughter goes on her behaviors....  Today I had a meeting with the principal this morning.   Is it sad that he noticed that I am working with my daughter on my own.  My husband was at the first meeting at the school, but he has not emailed or anything since.  WIth that pointed out to me, I totally came to the realization that I really am a "married" single parent.  He is gone a lot, and even when he is here he basically comes home to sleep.  Anyone else ever feel like this?

by on Oct. 15, 2013 at 8:44 PM
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Replies (1-9):
by BL on Oct. 15, 2013 at 9:03 PM

No, sorry. Why is he gone from home so much? Have you talked to him about this and let him know what you're feeling? How long have you been married?

by Bronze sister on Oct. 15, 2013 at 9:06 PM
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 Yes.  My husband has always worked shift work , so he had a conflict many many times with work, and the kids activities, school programs, etc.   Sometimes, I felt like I was running on empty.  But, we survived.  And I'm so appreciative of the sacrifices that he made working so much so that I could stay home with the kids.  We've got three well rounded, grounded grown children. 

by Fay on Oct. 15, 2013 at 9:09 PM

 when I was married.. yep.. it was usually all me.

If I asked the dh for support on something, he'd usually flip ape-sh*t and make things worse than they were, so I stopped asking

by Sister on Oct. 15, 2013 at 9:16 PM

He does not seem to ever get it.  I tried telling him, but he does not seem to understand that I need him to help with homework and everything not just money wise.  We have been married for 8 years now, he stays with his mom a lot because he works 45 miles away or there abouts and he does not want to spend the extra money on gas.  But even when he is here he just does not help with things.  I can only "nag" so much with out being frusterated.

by Gold sister on Oct. 15, 2013 at 9:28 PM

Work can really get in the way of family relationships. You say he does shift work - like graveyard or swing?

I think it messes with your bio-rhythms. Maybe he is depressed? Only a wild guess.

My DH used to work two jobs all the time when our kids were young. I hated it, but it was necessary. I had a hard time. But I loved my kids, and loved him. So I tried really hard to be the one to make sure everything happened.

Your little girl needs you to be a joyful mom. There will hopefully come a time when it won't be this way.
by Janine on Oct. 15, 2013 at 9:55 PM
Yes when I was married I felt like a single parent. Now that I am one I'm better off because I have one less kid to take care of. (my ex-husband)
by Sister on Oct. 15, 2013 at 9:59 PM
Yeah I think I would be better about some of it if I was being able to be home with the girls. But I am working full time and actually work about 45 miles away as well.... I get up at 4:30am get both the girls going, I go to my friends and drop off my oldest and then bring my youngest to daycare. I work from 6:45 - 3:30pm then get both the girls get them home do homework with them and everything. He works then when he does come home it is about 6pmish and he lays in our room and falls asleep. I have given up on asking for help...even playing cards with the girls sometimes seems like a chore to him. So frustrating.
by Cajun Witch (dealer) on Oct. 15, 2013 at 9:59 PM
Yep I'm married to a cross country truck driver. When the kids were little we only saw him every other weekend....kinda like visitation hahaha. Now the kids are 19 & 21 and hubby has been making it home about every 3rd to 4th night for about 10 years now.
by Snowl :) on Oct. 15, 2013 at 11:42 PM

I felt like that when I lived with my husband.

His way of "dealing" with our handicapped son was to go to work.  Even when he was home he would just say - ds needs a diaper - he's crying, do you know why? He would tell our younger son to just help me or listen to your mom. 

Everyone else noticed too except for his family. When his mom was around he tried to turn into "super dad" LOL.

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