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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

single blk mom

Posted by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 8:48 AM
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I got marry july 27,2002. Separated 2005, Divorce was finalized 2010. I've been very protective of my heart have not had a boyfriend only male friends. Im not missing him or nothing like that its just he put me though so much pain by lying,cheating,joke about me being fat but claim he loves me im free from him our kids are 22,15,and 9 . Why cant i allow myself to open my heart to love again. He remarried 2010. I want to try the dating thing but I use work,school and kids as a excuse ..Help!!!
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 8:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
mjgm1966
by Bronze sister on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:03 AM
3 moms liked this

 First of all, .....you are beautiful! Second of all, take it slow. No need to get in a hurry.  Get a good foothold in life. Use this time to focus on yourself and what you want out of life.   My aunt used to tell me that love would find me when I wasn 't looking for it.  Been married 21 years! She was right!  :)  Hang in there.

Phylis419
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:09 AM

 She is absolutely right ... n u r quite beautiful.

I was married for about 18-20 years and it was not the best marriage. Long story short we divorced and I def didn't want to find myself in anything. I allowed myself to be stripped of a great deal. I started to heal and allowing myself to smile and to be ME again. Long story short, I met the man who's my husband now. He has been the best man to have ever come in my life. He was so meant for me. Be patient with yourself (easier said then done) and allow yourself to grow.

Quoting mjgm1966:

 First of all, .....you are beautiful! Second of all, take it slow. No need to get in a hurry.  Get a good foothold in life. Use this time to focus on yourself and what you want out of life.   My aunt used to tell me that love would find me when I wasn 't looking for it.  Been married 21 years! She was right!  :)  Hang in there.

 

dana63
by Momma of 40ish on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:15 AM
2 moms liked this

 Welcome!!

I also agree that you are beautiful and you need to take things slow and find that man who will accept you for you. I was told once that once you love yourself (not saying you dont) that love will come easy. Love will find you when you least expect it and it will be your everlasting.

Welcome to the sisterhood and come in daily to chat...

Fayanne
by Fay on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:18 AM
1 mom liked this

 Do you WANT to be in a serious relationship again?

Try some counseling to get over your issues, or find some books to help. I read 'Rebuilding' when my marriage fell apart, and it helped. You need to work through the process, and there are setbacks. It helped just knowing that what I was going through was normal.

You need to heal from the pain and the hurt. Maybe some counseling can help

maine1014
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:22 AM

Welocme to the group, you are beautiful!!  I was in the same boat as you, and it took me a long time to open up my heart again. I went thru pain, being cheated on, abused, been called fat. I went thru it not just once but twice. My self worth was below zero. Then I met my SO, we have been together for 13 years now, we started out just as friends, so do not give up, it'll happen, maybe when you least expect it, just like me.  But you have come to the right place for advice, folks here are very helpful on all topics.  

wildchild.com
by Janine on Oct. 27, 2013 at 9:23 AM
Yep I agree you are beautiful. Welcome to the group. I'm Janine divorced over 3 years now & have one 8 yr old son. Take your time with the whole dating thing. I didn't start dating until a year after my divorce. I was so drained from my bad marriage I honestly didn't have the energy. After a year of recovary I felt ready. I went on line & started dating & eventually I met the guy I wish I met 25 yrs ago. Take your time you will know when your ready.
looneymom424
by on Oct. 27, 2013 at 10:09 AM

Welcome to the group like I tell my daughter who just got divorced and broke up with her ex you need to focus on you right now and get yourself ready for that next relationship so it will last.

Mariagma3
by Wild Midwest Lady on Oct. 27, 2013 at 10:26 AM

 Hello, welcome to our group!! Nice to have you! shake hand

ALolies
by Red Room Rebel on Oct. 27, 2013 at 10:51 AM
1 mom liked this

Welcome to the group. I hope you find the inner strength to get back out there. Good luck.

starlight1968
by 40ish hang out queen on Oct. 27, 2013 at 10:55 AM
1 mom liked this

 Welcome and what a pretty smile!  Take your time and just dip your toe in the game...lots of good advice here!!

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