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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

This is actually a double post.  I posted in the grandma forum, but did not get a response ... 


I am having mixed emotions about this because I am 43 and my 18 year old unmarried daughter just announced she is pregnant.  I am sad, angry, scared and even a little excited at times ... although that feeling is short lived and rare.  I found out a week ago and I am scared to death to tell my parents.  How do you tell your 63 year old mom she is about to be a great grandma.  It was hard enough 23 years ago when I announced at 39 she was going to be a grandma.  Honestly I do not know how to tell her that the family curse lives on ... my daughter is the 6th generation of second daughter to have a baby at 19.  Weird huh? 


It is hard to be happy and excited when you know the long hard road they have chosen and there is nothing you can really do except support them and try to do your best to help and guide them a long the way.  

Oh my youngest is 7 years old too.... that is part of my depression here.  I have ALWAYS had a baby.  I just wanted a little break between kids and grandkids.  

So here I am looking for advice and encouragement, which I am not really getting from my sisters.  My husband is being great and has his moments of shock and disbelief, but is definitely handling this better than I am.  I am planning to wait until after the holidays to tell my parents, but I know what their reaction will be.  Not good.  

I should probably add because we do not have much money.  My husband makes enough to pay the bills and stuff, but we dont do a lot extra becaues we dont have a lot extra.  So my son and oldest daughter are forever going to them asking for this or that ... new cell phones, clothes, money etc ... and I know they are thinking this is just going to be another baby we cant afford to have.  But the one who is pregnant has never asked them for anything.  Ever.  She is perfectly content with what she has.  And I should also just point out that they are not asking for NEEDS, they are asking for wants.  They all have cell phones and clothes... they just want more.  

by on Dec. 9, 2013 at 9:14 AM
Replies (31-31):
tlcmommi4
by Sister on Dec. 11, 2013 at 8:27 AM

Thanks yall for the encouraging words!!  I am feeling better each day and while still nervous for them obviously, I know things will be ok.  

1.  I am a stay at home mom now, and since we have all made it very clear to both of them that we expect them to finish college I feel it is my responsibilty to take care of their baby while they are in school and working.  I have never liked daycare centers.  All of my kids have gone at one time or another and I always end up pulling them out - usually because they get so sick in there I miss too much work anyway.  

2.  My daughter refuses to tell them yet.  She is scared of their reaction and I understand because I am too and I am 43 lol - I do not want them finding out by accident through someone else and I think they need to hear it from me.  So I will be the one to tell them.  They can be pretty judgemental and I do not want to risk them saying something to her that will damage their relationship - once they cool down it will be fine but that initial reaction - well I am not sure what will be said.  I can handle it, they are my parents and I am used to it, but my daughter is very sensitive and I gues I want to protect her.  

3.  I agree 23 and 16 year olds should stop asking my parents for stuff!  It drives me insane.  I promise you - they do not need it and I have tried to tell them to stop.  My parents are getting better at saying no though.  Well my mom, my dad just says "your mom said I cant"  lol  he hates saying no to my son especially.  

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