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40ish and beyond... 40ish and beyond...

Need advice

Posted by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 8:32 PM
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 My soon to be 20yo son's biological father has never seen my son. When I got pregnant, he wanted me to have an abortion and I refused. I was 21, had a great paying job, and had no fears in being a single mom. He wanted out and I let him go. When my son was born, I sent the father a picture and he claimed he wanted to see his son, but never showed. I recently found him on Facebook and have been debating telling my son or sending his biodad a pic of my son.

My first husband came along when my son was about 18 months old and has been the only father my son has ever known. My son asked about his biodad once when he was about 10 but I didnt know how to contact him then. He hasnt ever asked about him since.

Should I tell my son, notify his biodad on Facebook, or leave it alone?

by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 8:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
wintermoon111
by on Feb. 13, 2014 at 8:33 PM
leave it alone he has made it clear that he is not interested
wenuck
by Moonshine on Feb. 13, 2014 at 8:38 PM
Leave it alone till your son ask again.
ALolies
by Red Room Rebel on Feb. 13, 2014 at 8:47 PM

Leave it alone til DS asks again. I definately wouldn't contact bio dad without talking to DS first.

anchorgurl
by Bronze sister on Feb. 13, 2014 at 8:54 PM
1 mom liked this

 Leave it alone.  If your son decides that he wants to know who his biological father is, he will look for him.

Mariagma3
by Wild Midwest Lady on Feb. 13, 2014 at 10:19 PM
1 mom liked this

I would leave it alone UNLESS your son wants to make contact. Just because the biodad wants to meet him, doesn't mean your son will reciprocate. Or you could mention it to him, let him decide. Where I'd be caught is that your son may feel fine with who he's always known as "Dad." Good luck!

wildchild.com
by Janine on Feb. 13, 2014 at 10:32 PM
I'm in a similar situation...I personally would leave it alone. Unless your son asks about him.
coolmommy2x
by Silver sister on Feb. 13, 2014 at 10:34 PM
Leave it alone, let DS dictate what happens.
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mom22tumblebugs
by Silver sister on Feb. 13, 2014 at 10:50 PM

leave it alone

starlight1968
by 40ish hang out queen on Feb. 13, 2014 at 11:42 PM
1 mom liked this

 I'd leave it alone.  If your son knows his biodad's name then he can look him up on facebook anytime he'd like to on his own...hugs

Maida265
by Spanking the Monkey on Feb. 14, 2014 at 6:09 AM
1 mom liked this

Can I ask why you wanted to locate him? Seems like a long time since your son asked about him. I would think at almost 20 if your son wanted a relationship with him...he would find a way to locate him, himself. I would definitely not interfere. Your ex boyfriend made the choice years ago to walk away and now it's up to your adult son as to whether he wants to seek him out or have anything to do with him.   

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